Spoiled generation?

amother

↑ Stone ↓

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:16 am

watergirl wrote:

Yes, of course I do.

As I said in my post, I was NOT referring to tuition. I assume you read that. I mentioned food, and like I said, aside from meat, poultry, and CY cheese, no it's not more expensive. I've made very literally every single YT since 2001. It's costly. It's not astronomical. I live near many shuls and bought a house about 7 years ago. We paid under 200k and property taxes are low. How? Because it's not in the NY tri-state area and we bought what we could afford.

If "making YT" means red meat at every meal and lots of extras, then I can see how it would be astronomical. That's not what making YT means for us, never has.

Is there lots of frum communities in the U.S. where you can still buy a house for under 200K or even 300K? Im not talking about the tri-state area. I'm talking about ANYWHERE out of town that has frum infrastructure. The only one I know of is maybe Clevland? (Excuse my ignorance, I don't live in the U.S)

↑ lamplighter

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:19 am

amother Aconite wrote:

When I was a child (I’m almost 40 now) there were always the girls who had the nice backpacks/ coats etc every year. I don’t think that’s a new problem

Some girls or most girls?
There were always the fancy rich people. Now it's the standard to buy certain brands and spend crazy amounts. What can I do my daughter wants to fit in?

amother

↑ Antiquewhite

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:20 am

amother Stone wrote:

Could be wrong but these days I honestly cannot imagine that there is anywhere in the US where you can buy a house that is walking distance from a shul in a frum community with schools etc that costs under $200k. And I assume there are only very very few places where you can buy for even under $300k.

Edit: I bought my house in 2023. Tristate area. We are 1 mile from the closest minyan and 1/2 mile from the closest frum neighbor. 4 bedroom colonial built in the 1960s. $850k house + $20k/year property tax. Let’s not even bring in interest rates. Yes of course I know there are cheaper houses. I’m just letting everyone know that just because someone has a $5k-$7k. mortgage these days doesn’t mean they decided to irresponsibly buy a $2 million dollar mansion in the hottest neighborhood.

amother

Snapdragon ↓

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:30 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

Baltimore. My neighbor across the street bought her house one year ago for 170k and put 30k into it. We have 5 shuls within 3 blocks of us.

amother

↑ Stone

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:40 am

amother Snapdragon wrote:

Baltimore. My neighbor across the street bought her house one year ago for 170k and put 30k into it. We have 5 shuls within 3 blocks of us.

Isn't there a thread going on now about houses in Baltimore for 500K? Is that for a mansion or just in a different area?

amother

↑ Emerald

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:45 am

UQT wrote:

I was in the store when my daughter tried on a simple dress. We decided it looked nice and looked at the price. It was $319. Why is this even being marketed to our teens? Where do we draw the line.

I would feel the same- way too expensive for a teen.

But do standard clothing stores like nordstrom and dillards not have a variety of items at different price points? We have to be able to just say no. The dress existing in a frum store shouldn't be reason enough to buy it. (Though I do think people use frum store stock as what their standard should be)

amother

↑ Firebrick

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:50 am

amother Stone wrote:

Isn't there a thread going on now about houses in Baltimore for 500K? Is that for a mansion or just in a different area?

Baltimore might be cheaper than the tri-state but the areas that we would consider have houses that are 500 at a minimum and up. No not mansions, 3 bedroom old houses.
large, newer homes are close to a million here.

amother

Arcticblue

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 10:58 am

amother Stone wrote:

In Cleveland you’re not finding houses for under 200k anymore. And anything under 300k will probably be pretty small.

amother

↑ Snapdragon

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:19 am

amother Firebrick wrote:

Ok, so then it would be on the head of the person who is only willing to consider the areas with 500k+ houses. If someone wants to buy for lower, they can. The areas that are lower priced are also wonderful.

amother Stone wrote:

Isn't there a thread going on now about houses in Baltimore for 500K? Is that for a mansion or just in a different area?

Because there are houses all over for various prices. You have to understand the layout of the city and county. One can buy a large home (not a mansion, there are none in the frum areas) in the Beazer and surrounding areas for a million I'm sure, I have not looked at the prices in a long time. One can spend 500k in the city and in the county, or go up or go down.

We wanted the stability of owning a home, so we found a house in fantastic shape for under 200k. Yes, it's a semi-detached. Yes, it's under 1500 sq. ft. And yes, there are families with more kids than us who live in smaller spaces (the seven mile area, boxford, Bancroft rd where I rented for a bit, bonnie, etc).

This is about living within one's means. It means being realistic with the means with which to live within. I have a front yard, a back yard, a large sukkah deck, frum neighbors, many shuls near me. It's safe. I'm BH happy.

amother

↑ Wandflower ↓

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:22 am

UQT wrote:

I was in the store when my daughter tried on a simple dress. We decided it looked nice and looked at the price. It was $319. Why is this even being marketed to our teens? Where do we draw the line.

Why can’t stores cater to all budgets? I check tags before giving it to my kid to try on. The store doesn’t have to not carry an expensive line because you might be tempted to buy it. That doesn’t really make sense.

↑ UQT ↓

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:47 am

amother Wandflower wrote:

That’s the point is it ok for a younger style dress to be sold for $319? Why not $619? $1219? Where do we say this won’t sell, let’s not offer it?
For the record I did not buy it! I told her that’s a price for your brothers bar mitzvah dress, not a solid navy dress that we’re debating if it’s Friday night or ok to wear shabbos afternoon.

amother

↑ Wandflower

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:52 am

UQT wrote:

What does that mean? That’s what this company costs. People will buy it for different reasons. I don’t understand why selling a few pieces in this range is a huge deal. Also maybe only shop in the stores that have the cheaper prices. Some stores have all ranges and some have only lower. Life is about making choices, and teaching our kids how to make right choices. We gain nothing by bubble wrapping them and not exposing them to other types of things, how will they learn to choose correctly?

↑ UQT

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 11:59 am

It was not a higher end store that’s where my problem was. And the teens don’t understand why $319 for a shabbos dress is outrageous. That’s what I’m trying to bring out. I think it’s super materialistic. And we’re doing no favors to the younger generation by having mainstream stores sells shirts for $288 (button down blouse mind you) and regular dresses for over $300.
It has nothing to do with being able to afford it- it’s the principal of it.

amother

Ballota

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:32 pm

I wonder if a part of the gashmiyus problem is because we are so focused on being the same and part of a “community.” We talk about how wearing certain things (like a black hat or white shirts) associated with a certain community, it makes sense that this would translate into making sure to have a certain look or do the same things “everyone else is doing.” We are also able to do things so cheap, like buying designer clothes using hidden links on Ali and DWD sales for example.
Honestly though, as someone who works close to full time and husband works full time, I sometimes look around and wonder how people are able to spend as much as they do because either I am not geshikt enough to figure out how they’re able to pull it off in a cheaper way or maybe they are not putting as much money into savings? I honestly don’t understand how to achieve that look for less, and my children (girls) are getting old enough that they are starting to notice what “everyone else is doing/wearing” and it takes work as a parent to recognize which of these asks are wants and which ones are needs and try to figure out a good approach to Chinuch to meet kids where they are

amother

Ghostwhite ↓

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 12:58 pm

I think the situation is very visibly in the how much would you spend thread. The amounts listed were outrageous.

B”H I pay tuition. But I will spend up to $40 for sneakers for myself, not $300 and $150 for a Shabbos dress, not $500. I don’t think I have ever paid $70 for summer Shabbos shoes, for me or any of my now grown children. Date night can also be done for not $300.

tryinghard

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 5:03 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Out of curiosity when was the last time you bought sneakers? I am very stingy, particularly for myself, but can’t find anything that cheap anymore.

amother

↑ Ghostwhite

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 5:17 pm

tryinghard wrote:

Out of curiosity when was the last time you bought sneakers? I am very stingy, particularly for myself, but can’t find anything that cheap anymore.

I shop end of season, especially legal holidays/sales upon sales.
DSW -especially clearance and / or with a coupon code or rewards points and at Costco-clearance, ending is a $-.97

I just bought myself, at DSW Bondo waterproof boots and a pair of Uggs for my DD for $54.98 total. Boots were 50% off clearance and I had rewards certificates.
DSW has a few good options, but no code right now. They currently have 82 pairs for $39.99 or less. Last week they had $10 off $50, $20 off $100, $60 off $199. Buy for multiple people at once.
Costco’s current options https://www.costco.com/womens-.....e+asc

amother

Ivory ↓

Wed, Mar 27 2024, 7:36 pm

erm wrote:

Every generation has their test and this is ours. We are living in a time where things that used to be luxuries are now standard. One example, a kiddush used to be chulent and kugel and if it was a fancy kiddush there was a choice of lukshon kugel and potato kugel. There were no meat boards, sushi platters, $200 bottles. Unfortunately, we are sliding down a slippery slope when we start increasing gashmius. It’s a temporary moment of happiness and it cause a tremendous amount of pressure to keep up. Even to all those who are saying that they don’t have it in their community, the standard level increases dramatically in recent years. I’m not even talking about private jets, exotic trips, $2k denim skirts.

Believe it or not, there are some OOT communities that have no increase in gashmius from the last generation to this one. (I've been living in the same one for over 50 years and see no difference.)