Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
The refuse to go to friends



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 5:54 pm
My kids refuse to go to friends to see if they want to play. They just want to stay home and fight. Weekday and Shabbos. I’m extremely frustrated. I want them to bring friends over but no one comes to knock on our door in the winter and they refuse to initiate. Argh I’m going crazy from the wildness and fighting
Back to top

amother
Leaf  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 5:57 pm
Invite kids over by text. That’s what we do when we are too cold to go out.
Back to top

amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 5:59 pm
amother Leaf wrote:
Invite kids over by text. That’s what we do when we are too cold to go out.


Their mothers aren’t interested in being go between via text
Back to top

amother
Oleander  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:08 pm
amother OP wrote:
Their mothers aren’t interested in being go between via text


So call them. That's what I do.
Back to top

amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:11 pm
amother Oleander wrote:
So call them. That's what I do.


My kids are old enough that the mothers don’t want to get involved.
Back to top

amother
Magenta


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:12 pm
amother OP wrote:
My kids are old enough that the mothers don’t want to get involved.

Call the kids they want to play with, not their mothers.
Back to top

amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:14 pm
amother Magenta wrote:
Call the kids they want to play with, not their mothers.


My kids don’t want to call. They don’t want to initiate. Are you saying I should call a third grader to invite him to my house?
Back to top

amother
  Oleander


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:18 pm
amother OP wrote:
My kids don’t want to call. They don’t want to initiate. Are you saying I should call a third grader to invite him to my house?


3rd grade is still young enough that you can call the mother. Though not everyone likes & let's play dates on school days.
Back to top

amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:20 pm
amother Oleander wrote:
3rd grade is still young enough that you can call the mother. Though not everyone likes & let's play dates on school days.


My kids don’t want me to call the mother. If a kid knocks on the door they’ll usually want to play but sometimes not. I can’t call the mom to send their kid over and then my kid says I don’t want to play.
Back to top

amother
  Leaf


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:24 pm
And why don’t they want to play with friends?
Back to top

Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:34 pm
Maybe they need to go to separate friends. Perhaps on different days.

Murmur about this situation to your husband. He might take a day off and get some authority going because that's not good and he is the ultimate law-giver there.

He might take one of them to shul or to a shiur. Then the other one next time.
Back to top

amother
Yellow


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:46 pm
My kids are the same way. I've just learned to make peace with it.
Back to top

amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:55 pm
amother Leaf wrote:
And why don’t they want to play with friends?


They don’t give me an answer
The just say “we don’t want to call or go play or knock on their door”

Once I tried bribing one dc and they said “I just want to be home with you”

My older kid has great school friends but no neighborhood friends but plays with my younger kid’s friends. If my younger kid brings a friend home my older kid plays nicely with them. If my younger kid goes to a friend, my older kid is manageable and doesn’t get wild.
If they all play outside it’s the best.
But now they are refusing to invite anyone refusing to go out and they end up fighting like crazy. I yelled so much tonight. I hate this. They are 10 and 7
Back to top

amother
  OP


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:56 pm
amother Yellow wrote:
My kids are the same way. I've just learned to make peace with it.

How on earth??? I’m going nuts.they don’t want to play games with me they just want to fight
Back to top

amother
Tealblue


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 6:59 pm
I never wanted to play with friends either. I liked my space and playing with friends was stressful. I don’t think you can change how your kids feel.
Back to top

lamplighter




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 7:13 pm
Have you ever asked them individually at a later calm time way they prefer to stay home?
Back to top

amother
Stonewash


 

Post Thu, Feb 29 2024, 7:31 pm
I don't let playdates in middle the week but on Sundays when my girls are home all day I encourage friends and one dd always refuses. If a friend knocks she might say yes, but never agrees to initiate. She drives my baby crazy cuz she's bored.
Back to top

abound




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 05 2024, 11:40 am
Separate them. As long as they are fighting they may not cross paths. Do it for 3 days, it should help.

Like if they need the bathroom u need to go and make sure they dont cross paths.

Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. ......also they will be bored so they may decide its not worth it to fight.
Back to top

amother
Glitter


 

Post Tue, Mar 05 2024, 11:47 am
Invite a friend of yours over, to come with her daughters.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Teen girl advice needed re friends and camp.
by amother
5 Wed, Nov 20 2024, 12:04 pm View last post
Sweet, cute, fun 10 y.o DD doesn’t have friends
by amother
19 Sun, Nov 10 2024, 11:28 pm View last post
Looking for a gown for friends wedding
by amother
5 Sat, Nov 09 2024, 7:00 pm View last post
Daughter 19 engaged, invite all friends to meal?
by amother
15 Wed, Oct 09 2024, 5:46 pm View last post
Have you ever met/became friends with s/o through imamother?
by amother
41 Sun, Sep 29 2024, 11:27 pm View last post