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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Chanukah

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amother

OP ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:29 pm

I'm reading about everyone having a chanukah party every night and I'm just sad for my children that we had none (Besides the one we made ourselves)
Thanks for listening.

amother

Tanzanite

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:30 pm

We were lucky enough to have 1 last night where 1/4 of our family attended.

amother

Azalea

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:39 pm

This year both sides canceled. My kids were so disappointed.

Instead, I planned an activity every single day. Usually I'll do one or two .

First night is always presents and after that we played some games and the kids had an absolute blast. After the second night I didn't hear anything about parties because we were having so much fun in our own house.

My kids all told me tonight that this was their most fun chanuka.

amother

Amber

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:40 pm

None here. We live in Israel with no family nearby. My kids are still little so I don’t think they realized what they are missing out on, but I did make something exciting every night for dinner.
I find that it depends a lot on your attitude, if you make a happy atmosphere and don’t show that you are upset that you had no parties, they will feel that too.

rainbow dash

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:44 pm

We had a family party. It was only us 6 plus,4 more. Not very big. Then last night was an intouch party. We don't party every night.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:45 pm

My kids are teenagers and hear all day from friends how many parties they all have.

amother

Jasmine

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:49 pm

We had 1 party...nothing major just my sil family
Otherwise we have no other parties, but we make our own fun!

I grew up hearing about everyone's parties and it was definitely hard as a teenager. As an adult I appreciate not having to go out and socializing every night, cranky kids up till way past bedtime....

amother

Phlox

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:53 pm

2 party's here, one from each side of dh and my families. Honestly it's enough.
I hear you that not one party, isn't ideal.

bigsis144 ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 3:55 pm

No family nearby, no parties for us.

My kids still had school and shul parties, we don’t feel like nebach cases.

amother

Oak ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:01 pm

I didn't grow up with Chanuka parties at all and don't know when they became a thing. In my student days my student organization had a party because that's what student organizations do. A few times my machatonim invited us to theirs if they made one. Our Chabad has for some years been having a menorah lighting in the park with latkes, sufganiyot and music on one night of Chanuka. My shul usually has something and in recent years put on something for kids. But aside from my machatonim, these are all organizational events to which anyone is welcome. Nobody needs a personal invitation. I don't know anyone who goes to multiple Chanuka parties hosted by family and friends. I never felt deprived and neither did my kids. Obviously we travel in very different circles from those of you feeling like orphans because "everyone" is going to multiple parties every night. (Why would you even want to?)

amother

Goldenrod ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:02 pm

No party here, we don’t live near any family. If my kids complained, I’d try to arrange a party with friends but they haven’t said anything yet (12 and under.) For me, I was happy to be able to put them to sleep at a normal time every night.

I try to make Chanukah fun with activities and food and so far it’s working.

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:04 pm

No parties for us. I try to make every night of chanukah fun. My kids have never complained or mentioned anything and they are already well into their teen years.

amother

Snow

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:18 pm

My family never had parties growing up and neither my in laws nor my parents made a big deal of Chanukah. I started decorating the house and having latkes and doughnuts when my kids were little, but most activities were at school or shul. We're working all week, so having nightly parties would be inconvenient at best. Had one set of marrieds for Shabbos with baby, so that was fun. Otherwise, it's candlelighting and business as usual. I know that some friends have parties, but I'm content to be home.

amother

↑ Oak

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:30 pm

I have a sneaky suspicion that all these blowout parties are a result of the insidious infiltration of Christian culture. Chanukah is, in the grand scheme of things, a relatively minor Jewish holiday. It became a major one in the West, and especially in the US, as a result of exposure to the staggering Xmas-related festivities that made Jewish children feel deprived in comparison.

amother

Yarrow ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:44 pm

We had one family party from my DH side. My family came to us last shabbos and stayed till sunday but we didnt have an official party. We had a shul Chanukah party before Chanukah and another shul we daven at had a party one night of Chanukah but we didnt make it because child wasnt feeling well. I try to do something special w the kids at home Like decorating Chanukah cookies etc.

↑ bigsis144

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 4:51 pm

amother Oak wrote:

I think it’s a mainly consumerism (and comparison on social media) thing, and the season is only tangential for most frum Jews. People have also been making increasingly gorgeous Mishloach Manos when they feel like they have the whole world to show off to…

No food restrictions like Pesach, no space restrictions to a sukkah, no other mitzvah obligations like Megillah or mishloach manos… so on Chanukah you can really go all out if you want to. You can have decor or food that takes all day to set up. Many schools let out early or have days of vacation, so getting together with family on a weeknight might be more feasible.

amother

Lime

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:05 pm

No family parties. Kids had some class parties and we went to the shul party. It is what it is.

amother

↑ Yarrow

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:08 pm

If you dont have any parties to go to you can always invite someone to you and make a party! Doesnt need to be family,

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:29 pm

bigsis144 wrote:

No family nearby, no parties for us.

My kids still had school and shul parties, we don’t feel like nebach cases.

Our families are close by so,yes dc feel like nebech cases. And for you shul and school is 2 so ya no need to feel like one.
And yes we made it fun at home doesn't negate them not being able to tell friends they had a chanukah party to go to.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 5:32 pm

To those asking who needs a party?def not me. But dc do. Even to just tell friends.
To those not understanding this concept,we are probably from different circles.

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