DD won't go to sleep!!

Starhavah ↓

Wed, Jul 23 2008, 11:15 pm

DD won't go to sleep at night. She reads in bed, she begs us to go in and cuddle with her or hold her hand. She hates lying there and waiting to fall asleep!! This is both in the summer and the winter, but of course it is far worse in the summer. Please do not sugggest putting her to bed later. She is impossible to wake up as it is. She bearly eats on school mornings because she is so tired. We have to get her up at 6am for school. We leave the house at 7:15am for the bus. She eats before camp because she doesn't have to leave the house until 8:30 am, we wake her up between 7:15 am and 7:30am. She is still difficult to awaken but once she is awake, she is more functional. We have tried letting her read books until she falls asleep, we have tried banning books after 8pm, we have tried letting her listen to the radio softly. The only thing that works consistantly is my climbing into bed with her and lying beside her. I have tried saying I will lie beside you for 15 minutes and then I have to go. Sometimes she falls sleep, but more often then not she is downstairs 5 minutes after I leave her bed. If I want her to stay in bed, I have to stay in her bed until she is soundly asleep. DH and I get no evening time together because of this. How do I get her to fall asleep on her own? Any ideas would be helpful.

What

I doubt it bears on her inability to fall asleep but just in case I will mention that she sleep walks and sleep talks. I also did/do both of those and I do not have trouble falling asleep.

Help

This is not security thing because she loves sleepovers. (DH and I are starting to love them too. A night out with no babysitting costs). Cheers

Star Havah

flowerpower

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 1:05 am

Ds is like that too. He can't fall asleep. When I have to go away and a sitter comes it's a treat. I considered giving him maltatonim or calcium before bedtime but I'm hesitant about it. I tried a chart where he gets a sticker every night if he falls asleep on his own and after five stickers he can go to the toy store. That didn't work either. Books and story tapes didn't work either. The only thing that works is if I lay next to him and even then it takes him forever to fall asleep. I started fading that out by sitting at the other end of the bed, near the bed...but he's still having a very hard time. Does she have a hard time falling asleep or staying in bed? Maybe you can make a chart if she stays in bed from bedtime until morning...?

↑ leomom ↓

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 1:50 am

My kids fall asleep better if there's a fan running (for the noise) and if the room is very dark. I put dark curtain liners on their windows to block out the light (when the sun goes down late, or just the light from streetlights) and it seems to be a huge help.

Also, when one of my kids was younger and resisted going to sleep, I would sit and sing a few songs, and then say, "I'll check on you in a few minutes," and leave. That got me out the door, and by the time I checked on her (more than a few minutes...) she was usually asleep.

↑ Starhavah ↓

Fri, Jul 25 2008, 12:13 am

yy wrote:

How old is your daughter?

Ooops. Sorry, she is 8 years old. Going into 3rd grade!

DH wants to bring her in to the doctors to see if there is anything the pediatricial recommends. DH has also suggested giving her an anti-histamine when she is not stuffed up because it helps her fall asleep. I am afraid that part of the reason she can't sleep is she is so used to having help from the anti-histamines (she is allergic to cats, which a number of our friends have and has fall and spring hayfever).

Star Havah

↑ Starhavah

Fri, Jul 25 2008, 12:17 am

yy wrote:

She has two fans running in her room a ceiling fan and a floor fan. She has this problem in the winter too so it is not the sunlight coming in her windows.

yy wrote:

Also, when one of my kids was younger and resisted going to sleep, I would sit and sing a few songs, and then say, "I'll check on you in a few minutes," and leave. That got me out the door, and by the time I checked on her (more than a few minutes...) she was usually asleep.

Yeah, we used to do that and it worked when she was younger, but now it doesn't.

Thanks for trying,
'
Star Havah

↑ leomom ↓

Fri, Jul 25 2008, 12:18 am

Antihistamines can make your heart race. They also make you drowsy, but the heart racing (if it happens) can interfere with sleep anyway, or cause anxiety.

I have a daughter the same age as yours. She also doesn't like lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Getting exercise and fresh air after dinner helps tire her out more... and just setting up new patterns and expectations will help. It will take a few weeks, but establish a new routine that YOU feel comfortable with and she can accept, and stick with it patiently for two weeks, even three. It seems like your daughter has gotten used to certain options, like you lying with her, that you don't want to continue. So... phase them out gently and patiently, and replace those things with other calming measures (quiet music, or the sound of a fan, very comfy PJs & bedding, a stuffed animal or doll to cuddle, etc.).