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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
She won't be traumatized, right? UPDATE
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:14 pm
amother Latte wrote:
Yes, long term effects. I would only do this if it was a medical emergency.
Same.

Honeymoon vacations need to be before there’s a baby in the picture, or once they’re over 2.
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amother
Mintcream  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:14 pm
amother Crystal wrote:
Are you serious?
Op, please don't listen to this.
Long term effects of a week spent with grandparents? Stop it.


THIS.
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amother
Brass  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:15 pm
amother Crystal wrote:
Are you serious?
Op, please don't listen to this.
Long term effects of a week spent with grandparents? Stop it.


I'm not saying she should or shouldn't do it.

Though for a 6-month old baby there's no difference if it's grandparents or a random person, unless she's used to being frequently with them.

(And for a 6-month old - frequently being with someone means being held and cared for by them. Not randomly being in their presence while sitting in their carriage.)
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amother
Khaki  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:15 pm
I did it when my baby was 2 months old and yes she was traumatized
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:15 pm
amother Honeysuckle wrote:
She'll be perfectly fine! This is the best age to go away before shes old enough to really miss you
Do make sure that she takes a bottle nicely if you're nursing
A 6 month old is definitely old enough to miss their mother, who they’ve known for 14 months already. They aren’t old enough to show it. That’s even worse.
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Genius  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:17 pm
amother Bellflower wrote:
The baby is six months old. It’s the equivalent of your husband leaving you with your parents for a month because he wants to go on vacation. How would that impact you?

These two scenarios are equal?
Op it seems like after thinking this through tyou came to the conclusion that going is in the best interest of your family. You don’t have to overthink. Your baby will be fine bez”h. Grandparents are close family.
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amother
  Amaranthus  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:17 pm
amother Crystal wrote:
Are you serious?
Op, please don't listen to this.
Long term effects of a week spent with grandparents? Stop it.


OP did ask and everyone is entitled to give their opinion. You can never know the long term effects this may be leaving, especially if she's not so familiar with the grandparents and their home. It's no different then strangers.
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:17 pm
amother Brass wrote:
I'm not saying she should or shouldn't do it.

Though for a 6-month old baby there's no difference if it's grandparents or a random person, unless she's used to being frequently with them.

(And for a 6-month old - frequently being with someone means being held and cared for by them. Not randomly being in their presence while sitting in their carriage.)
The baby would be better off staying with a babysitter they know and trust IMO
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:18 pm
amother Amaranthus wrote:
Does she go to a sitter every day? If yes, maybe the sitter would have her for those few days.

We just let our babysitter go for the summer, and baby seemed OK with the change in caregivers. Our babysitter was not Jewish so I don't think I would send her there lol.
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amother
  Mintcream  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:18 pm
amother Bellflower wrote:
A 6 month old is definitely old enough to miss their mother, who they’ve known for 14 months already. They aren’t old enough to show it. That’s even worse.


That doesn’t translate to trauma.

Not every sadness is trauma.
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amother
  Amaranthus  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:19 pm
Genius wrote:
These two scenarios are equal?
Op it seems like after thinking this through tyou came to the conclusion that going is in the best interest of your family. You don’t have to overthink. Your baby will be fine bez”h. Grandparents are close family.


If the baby isn't familiar with the grandparents and their home, it's no different than a stranger. It just makes the parents feel better, but makes no difference to the child.
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gootlfriends  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:19 pm
Honestly? If they are capable of taking care of a energetic baby who will touch everything and needs lots of attention and make a mess and might not sleep well. Then sure. I know people who have done it and the baby was fine. As long as caretakers know the baby and what he or she needs. At that age it doesn't matter who takes care as long as it's familiar.
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amother
  Brass  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:19 pm
amother Honeysuckle wrote:
She'll be perfectly fine! This is the best age to go away before shes old enough to really miss you
Do make sure that she takes a bottle nicely if you're nursing


Is this a joke? They younger they are, the MORE they need their mother.

As I said, I'm not telling OP to do it or not to do it. It could be it's the right thing for her even though I wouldn't do it. But, many of these feel-good responses make no sense.
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:19 pm
Genius wrote:
These two scenarios are equal?
Op it seems like after thinking this through tyou came to the conclusion that going is in the best interest of your family. You don’t have to overthink. Your baby will be fine bez”h. Grandparents are close family.
This scenario is worse IMO. A week for a baby is longer than a month for an adult. And a baby needs its mother more than an adult needs their spouse. They’re wired to depend on their mother for survival.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:19 pm
amother Khaki wrote:
I did it when my baby was 2 months old and yes she was traumatized

In what way?
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  Genius  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:20 pm
amother Amaranthus wrote:
If the baby isn't familiar with the grandparents and their home, it's no different than a stranger. It just makes the parents feel better, but makes no difference to the child.

Ok. This doesn’t make it traumatic.
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amother
  Crystal


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:21 pm
amother Mintcream wrote:
That doesn’t translate to trauma.

Not every sadness is trauma.

THIS!
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amother
DarkGray  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:21 pm
We did this with my oldest DD.
She knew my parents very well and their home was practically her second home.
I did cry the entire flight to our vacation, and I did miss her terribly, but it was 100% worth it and BH no ill effects on DD.

If she is comfortable at your parents house do not worry.
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:21 pm
amother Mintcream wrote:
That doesn’t translate to trauma.

Not every sadness is trauma.
It’s abandonment! Yes it’s trauma!
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  Genius  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 06 2023, 5:22 pm
amother Bellflower wrote:
This scenario is worse IMO. A week for a baby is longer than a month for an adult. And a baby needs its mother more than an adult needs their spouse. They’re wired to depend on their mother for survival.

These two scenarios have nothing in common. I agree with you that this is a bigger deal if the only perspective we are considering is the person being left. As I said it’s no comparison in any way so…
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