Why Hashem Created Children

proudmom

Thu, Nov 03 2005, 1:29 pm

> To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
> grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make
> you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take
> comfort
> from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own
> children. After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve.
> And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

>
> "Don't what?" Adam replied.
>
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

>
> "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden
> fruit!!!!!"
>
> "No Way!"

Yes way!"
>
> "DO NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
>
>
> "Why?"
>
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why
> He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes
> later,
> God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I
> tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
>
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
> "Then why did you?" said the Father.
>
> "I don't know," said Eve.
>
> "She started it!" Adam said
>
> "Did not!"
>
> "Did too!"
> "DID NOT!"
>
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
> Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it
> has never changed.

>
> BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and
> lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't
> be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you
> think it would be a piece of cake for you?

> THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
>
> 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
> talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
> up.
>
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
>
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
> word what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
> that there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
>
>
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
>
> Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
>
>
> AND FINALLY:
>
> IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS
> ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
>
> "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Last edited by proudmom on Thu, Nov 03 2005, 1:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

chen

Thu, Nov 03 2005, 3:16 pm

Just the thing to shoot back at the principal (or whoever) who implies that there is something wrong w/you if your child doesn't do as you say.

OK, here's one similar ( should go under humor, but...)

A nonjewish man had a difficult son. The boy got into all sorts of trouble, and was uncontrollable. desperate, he decided that jews must have the secret to rearing good children, and went to his jewish neighbor. The neighbor confessed, "I had a son, but he ran away from home. Let's go to my Orthodox cousin, he'll know what to do. "

They go to the orthodox cousin and ask for his help. The cousin admits, "I had a son, but he's living with an irreligious girl. Let's ask the rav, he'll for sure know what to do."

They go to the rav and tell him the story, begging him to share his wisdom. The rav sighs, "I had a son, but he married a shiksa. We have to ask the Abishter."

So the rav pleads with the Abishter to help him and all the others deal with their unruly sons. When he stops, exhausted, a sad, sad voice is heard coming from Above: "I had a son..."