Where are all the formula mommies?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 10:33 am

amother Midnight wrote:

I love nursing my babies but I don’t understand why others care about how your baby is being fed. Live and let live.

BH no one makes comments. But my mother was very into nursing, and most of my friends and neighbors are, as well. It’s just my internal feeling that I’m the odd one out.

amother

↑ Midnight

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 10:40 am

amother OP wrote:

BH no one makes comments. But my mother was very into nursing, and most of my friends and neighbors are, as well. It’s just my internal feeling that I’m the odd one out.

So it’s your own insecurities that you can work on if you like. Not anyone else making you feel bad. I’m camp fed is best. Honestly don’t care about how anyone else gets there.

amother

Seablue

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 3:23 pm

amother Midnight wrote:

So it’s your own insecurities that you can work on if you like. Not anyone else making you feel bad. I’m camp fed is best. Honestly don’t care about how anyone else gets there.

If you’re a nursing mother you just can’t understand it. Every time I walk into the pediatricians office the first question is how often baby nurses, same with my 6 week checkup at the OB (several different ones). And of course there’s the slight surprise they try to cover up when they hear I’m not. Even when I went for a follow up at 6 months they ask if I’m still nursing because of course they didn’t put in the chart that I’m not. So you might not be judging and I’m sure it’s not your intention but there’s a LOT of judging out there and calling a mother insecure for feeling that certainly sounds like you are.

amother

Red

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 3:28 pm

Op, thanks for starting this thread… a first time mommy here who had a c section and whose baby was a preemie and found it too hard to nurse….. yes I always get comments… how nursing is so special and it’s so amazing to bond…. And yes, I still feel guilty as if I’m doing the worst I can for my baby, but that’s life- people are always gonna have what to say

BrisketBoss

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 3:31 pm

I actually had someone (very frum lady, many kids) ask me with curiosity about the fact I never give bottles or pacifiers. I think it makes her life simpler to use these things sometimes so to her it is the natural thing to do. Those formula mommies are out there--but I can definitely believe that it feels less popular to bring up than nursing.

amother

↑ Winterberry

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:42 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

It must be your pediatrician. Mine didn't do that at all.

Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

I feel like I’m surrounded by women who EBF until 12, 18, or 24 months. My babies always end up combo feeding, and eventually completely on formula at pretty young ages.

My current baby is little but he is exclusively formula fed at this point. I really wanted to make it work but I was forced to supplement very early. Then my supply completely tanked and here we are, done nursing by 3 months Sad

I know I’m feeding my baby the best way I can. I know formula fed babies do just fine. I just can’t help getting pulled back into that feeling of inadequacy again. I’m embarrassed to give my tiny baby bottles when everyone else is exclusively nursing. The way some people talk about giving formula…it’s like they shudder.

I’m just looking for some solidarity here. If you are a formula feeding mother, please raise your hand!

🤚 I started off nursing, then started pumping and supplementing with pumped bottles at about a month. By 3 months I was supplementing with formula instead, and by 4 months (or maybe even earlier) I had to give up nursing.
My baby has awful reflux. He’s small and gaining slowly. I don’t feel bad or embarrassed at all. I’m doing what’s best for him.
This is exactly why we need to move away from “bre@st is best” and move to “fed is best.” There’s no reason for you or anyone to feel bad or embarrassed for doing what’s best for you and your baby.

amother

Lime

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

I exclusively nursed only for a couple of days- in the hospital since the LC’s pushed nursing and said my baby was getting plenty from me (beats me how they could say that). Then nursed like a day and a half after getting home when we realized baby was starving! Guzzled down that formula bottle and finally slept when put down. Tried pumping and doing everything to increase my supply (rented s hospital grade pump, vitamins etc) Nothing helped.. supply eventually plummeted and my pumping was doing close to nothing (I kept telling myself even a drop of pumped milk must be good)during this time gave mostly formula. Funny thing is baby/toddler now nurses for comfort sometimes. I have zero milk lol.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:54 pm

BrisketBoss wrote:

So let’s work to change that!

amother

Salmon

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 5:56 pm

I just find it interesting that we formula moms need to justify ourselves when we tell people we are not nursing...
When people ask me (which for some reason they do) if I'm nursing, I just say no and sometimes there's a pause, as if I need to provide a reason. Sometimes they follow up by asking if I've ever nursed any of my kids. Why does it matter?
By now I've stopped excusing myself and I'm proud to be a formula mom.
(It's the same with an epidural. My mother and sister's all gave birth naturally and when I had my first with an epidural I was so self-concious. But at the end of the day, hey, it's my life, and no one else has any say in how I live it Very Happy

)

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 6:00 pm

amother Salmon wrote:

)

I don’t justify anything to anyone. If anyone asks if I’m nursing, I say no. If they push the topic, I just say this is what’s best for him. Let them judge me if they want. That’s a them issue.

amother

↑ Caramel ↓

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 6:07 pm

amother Lily wrote:

For all you ladies who say it affected your mental health, can you elaborate on what you mean? I feel so sorry for all the people who feel so much guilt over not nursing.

It strongly contributes to my PPD and PPA. Feel like I can't leave the house and can't have anyone else feed my baby. I do it for as ling as possible because I want my babies to get the benefits, but it is so hard on me. And yes my husband helps tons with everything around the house and with other kids. I also struggle with pumping and pump as much as I can, but I still end up mostly using formula after a certain amount of time.

amother

↑ Cadetblue

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 6:08 pm

Ha the lactation consultant in the hospital came into the room all chirpy and was like “So, did WE decide if we’re going to be nursing or not?” I remember looking at her and asking “who is the WE? You’re nursing my kid too?”. She turned red and left the room and never came back to bother me again.

amother

↑ Caramel

Sun, Jun 04 2023, 6:11 pm

amother Cadetblue wrote:

OMG yessss! I love that LOL