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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

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dillie ↓

Mon, Jun 02 2008, 9:40 pm

I have a family wedding coming up that will start at 7-ish and end at 1-ish- there's a mitzvah tantz.
I would really like to put the kids to sleep myself- I've never left them awake before- but that means we're not getting there til 8:15.
My babysitters informed me that they can only stay til 11:30, and then we need to take them home.
First: can I leave them awake? I feel bad about it. But I feel bad about coming late, too.
Second: it's okay if I leave at 11, right? I feel like a heel, like the wedding isn't that important to me, but that's not true at all: I just don't see how else I could manage this.
Anyone have any brilliant ideas? I can't send them home in a car service.

Last edited by dillie on Mon, Jun 02 2008, 10:09 pm; edited 1 time in total

Dandelion1 ↓

Mon, Jun 02 2008, 9:54 pm

I think the leaving at 11 part sounds reasonable-- that's pretty late to stay and everyone would understand about babysitter situations.

Is leaving them awake in PJs in front of an Uncle Moishie video an option for you?

↑ dillie

Mon, Jun 02 2008, 9:59 pm

uncle moishy is totally an option. they will probably still be watching it when I come home, but hey, once it a while, it won't kill them.
do you really think everyone will understand about leaving for a babysitter? even for a close family wedding? is this what everyone else does?

↑ Dandelion1

Mon, Jun 02 2008, 10:06 pm

hmmm... I can imagine it would be sort of based on a few factors-- close relation= sister? cousin? how touchy overall is your family about these things? how big is the wedding (I.e how noticable would your absence be?) etc. I have a fairly small extended family, so I don't have loads of experience with this....

SingALong

Mon, Jun 02 2008, 10:14 pm

I have this situation all the time. we used to turn ourselves into pretzels for these weddings. it was really hard. once I got a sleep over babysitter. so I stayed till the weddign ended. but so many of my family weddings end at 5:00 am and I need to go to school the next day so me and my DH always leave early now. my family understands but his family not that much. his father ws really upset the first time we disappeared froma wedding early.
u need to do watever you can. if the weddign is local, allow your DH to go for kabalas panim and then join in after you babysitter gets to you. I think its ok to leave while they are still up, its not like you do it everyday.

greenfire

Mon, Jun 02 2008, 10:29 pm

hm a close family wedding ... how come the kids are not coming ...

I believe in making the chuppa ... as that is the main part ...

as far as coming late & leaving early - I wouldn't do both ...

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