What would you have done: re teacher grabbing hold of kid?

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Forum -> Working Women -> Teachers' Room

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amother ↓

Tue, May 20 2008, 2:02 pm

So I work as a teachers assistant in a school. I was in a class with a teacher and 18 9 year olds. One of the kids is a pain in the neck but harmless and if you treat him right he is fine. Over the last few weeks the teacher and this pupil have been classing big time. The slightest thing the kid does wrong she goes crazy with him.

Today he wa introuble again with her. She told him to go and get his comprehension book and SIT THERE!!!! He went and sat down but put his elbows on the table. She came along and bashed them off one after the other. Then he put his head on the table she put her arms around him waste and dragged him up to sitting. Then she just grabbed hold of his arm yanked it up and frog marched the kid to the head. I was horrified.

All day I have been thinking about it and thinking if this was my kid I would make a huge complaint. Can a justify keeping this to myself? So this evening I phoned the head of Jewish Studies and did not say any names or anything. But said I do not know what to do. This is a Jewish teacher I do not want to get her introuble, but I'am worried that this will esclate and get worse. He knew exactly what I was talking about and said I did the right thing coming forward and he will talk to the head tomorrow.

I am thinking now that I have done the wrong thing. What do you think? Should I have just kept my mouth closed? I need reasurance. I might just go in tomorrow and say I do not want to go any further but can I do that I have to think about this kid. I'am also pregnant do I need this hassle? Will I become the worst member of staff and end up leaving becasue no one will speak to me> I'am really worried.

baseballmom

Tue, May 20 2008, 2:04 pm

You did the right thing!!!!!

MiracleMama

Tue, May 20 2008, 2:06 pm

Based on what you wrote, I would say you absolutely did the right thing.

Mimisinger

Tue, May 20 2008, 2:07 pm

You totally did the right thing. That teacher is not only severely damaging that child, but also all of the spectators. That teacher needs some major re-training.

greenfire

Tue, May 20 2008, 2:18 pm

call the police and file charges ...

↑ amother ↓

Tue, May 20 2008, 2:19 pm

When I was in 11th grade, a teacher got mad at me for questioning a statement she made. She actually pushed me up against the wall and screamed some really not nice things at me. I stood there calmly and when she was done with her bashing me, I responded "doesn't it say in Perkei Avos, lo hakaptan melamed?" I have to say that it was pretty bold of me, but she backed off.

marina ↓

Tue, May 20 2008, 4:25 pm

Quote:

Then she just grabbed hold of his arm yanked it up and frog marched the kid to the head. I was horrified

What is frog marched?

Also, I would have said to the teacher that she is great with the kids, but this one is trying her patience and why don't I handle him for the next few days, etc.

TzenaRena

Tue, May 20 2008, 4:27 pm

Couldn't you speak to the teacher herself, and tell her that she's doing something wrong?? If you are confident enough to speak to her supervisors, you should be brave enough to tell it to her face first. And it wouldn't necessarily have to be in a confrontational way either, if that's what you were worried about.

flowerpower

Tue, May 20 2008, 5:52 pm

Talking to the head instead of talking directly to her is a good idea in this case. It's too bad that the teacher doesn't know how to handle a child and doesn't look around for ideas on why he is acting out like this. If its not taken care of now then its a potential at risk student in the future.

mummiedearest

Tue, May 20 2008, 9:03 pm

I agree that you did the right thing. I worked with a teacher who acted like that towards a student. she ended up putting him in a dark closet for 45 minutes. I reported her to the director. she was completely wacko (she claimed because of a hard pregnancy, though I don't consider that an excuse to put a 5 year old in a closet) and wouldn't have listened to reason.

Mommy3.5

Tue, May 20 2008, 9:50 pm

If I was the parent of that child I would give you a medal. A teacher has no right to behave that way no matter what the child did. As someone who has seen up close what physical abuse by a teacher can do to a child, I think you did the right thing.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, May 21 2008, 2:03 am

TzenaRena wrote:

Ok a few weeks ago I disagreed with something that she said and did with this kid, I told her in a nic way and she screamed at me about it. There is another point in all this, she has been disciplined already twice before for hitting children. She used to be with the four year olds. So it is slightly different this is not a first and she obviously just losses it!!!!!! The little chat does not mean anything to her. If it would help then of course I woul;d but she is so not open to nice little chats she knows bet. Also I'am only with her for three lessons of 45 minutes each a week. What else is she capable of when no one is in the room. I'am worried about this kid!!!!!

↑ amother

Wed, May 21 2008, 2:08 am

marina wrote:

Quote:

Then she just grabbed hold of his arm yanked it up and frog marched the kid to the head. I was horrified

What is frog marched?

Also, I would have said to the teacher that she is great with the kids, but this one is trying her patience and why don't I handle him for the next few days, etc.

As written just before I'am only with this kid and teacher three lessons a week. The problem is she is due to retire intwo years time and she is not a good teacher. She's boring and does not know how to stimulatre the children. they and I have spent the last year looking at the clock thinking when is this boring class over. So I think it would have been a slight lie to say she is wonderful when she is not. Also a teacher who hurts a kid I believe is not the best in the world.

What's the first thing that a teacher is taught NEVER touch a child. The only time you are allowed to touch a child is if they are harming themselves or others or if they are unconsoluble and if you do, you jolly make sure that there are other members around with you at the time.

Last night I wa very worried about it, after talking it over with other teachers (not part of the school) they agreed that they would have done the same. They said stop getting yourself worked up especially seeming I'am pregnant.

↑ marina ↓

Wed, May 21 2008, 6:25 am

What is frog marched?

mummy-bh ↓

Wed, May 21 2008, 9:48 am

Quote:

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Quote:

Frog marching refers to the practice of forcibly transporting suspects or prisoners through a public place, up to and including carrying them such that their limbs splay in a frog-like manner. (Perp walking is similar, but implies the subjects move more or less under their own power.)

Frog marching may be necessary to transport prisoners who are uncooperative or intoxicated. However, as a forced public spectacle, it may serve as well to humiliate those marched and send a message to those looking on.

The term achieved a great deal of public currency in the United States in October 2003, when Joseph Wilson, expressing outrage that someone in the Bush Administration had allegedly leaked to the press the fact that his wife Valerie Plame worked for the CIA, stated: "At the end of the day, it's of keen interest to me to see whether or not we can get Karl Rove frog-marched out of White House in handcuffs."[1][2

↑ marina ↓

Wed, May 21 2008, 1:14 pm

thank you. I am still working on picturing this. She picked the kid up? How do you frog march to the head, as the OP wrote? Did she hold his head between her hands and pull it? I am just trying to imagine what happened.

↑ mummy-bh

Wed, May 21 2008, 1:56 pm

Looks like we have a language barrier! Smile

I assume the OP is English. In the UK, the principal is called the headteacher/headmaster, or 'head' for short.

↑ marina

Wed, May 21 2008, 2:31 pm

OK, so she grabbed the kid, pulled him up by his middle and dragged him to the principal? What did the principal say when she/he saw the teacher carrying the kid like that?

mugsisme

Sun, Jun 15 2008, 3:15 pm

I retired almost 6 years ago. When I first started teaching, back in 1984, it was acceptable to hug a child who needed it, or pat them, or basically, encourage them. The last few years that I taught, we didn't touch a child for any reason. Not good or bad. It wasn't worth the risk of a law suit. In this day and age, teachers are totally discouraged from touching.

It sounds like this teacher is bordering on the edge of abusing the kids. Read what the OP wrote about the four year olds. It might be time for her to retire early? Did the child complain to his/her mother? What came of taking the principal about the teacher?

miriamnechama

Thu, Jul 24 2008, 6:21 am

Mommy3.5 wrote:

and also emotional abuse.. unfortuanately I was teh victim alway through school, of emotional abuse by teachers to the point that they totally ruined me and I felt like I couldn't do nothing....

bh sem changed me,and now years later I can't believe the things that I suddenly can do!!

btw my brotherw orks with children... he told me he neededa police check first to make sure he was clean, before workig...

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