What is your immediate reaction to thread titles (Part 3)

↑ DrMom ↓

Tue, Jun 14 2022, 1:30 pm

$20K for Two Kids

Meh, I'll give you $15k for them.

↑ zaq ↓

Wed, Jun 15 2022, 3:22 pm

Best way to clean dust
Don't bother trying to clean dust. Just remove the dust when you see it and discard it as is.

↑ BokerTov ↓

Wed, Jun 15 2022, 3:52 pm

Teeth whitening-Snow?

That’s an interesting idea. Especially that it’s free. But what happens if I want a whitening in the summer?

↑ essie14 ↓

Wed, Jun 15 2022, 11:24 pm

Want to get pregnant but need some work done
Nose job? Tummy tuck?

↑ BokerTov ↓

Thu, Jun 16 2022, 12:22 am

Mirena going crazy
Can you ask Mirena what’s bothering her?

↑ zaq ↓

Thu, Jun 16 2022, 9:49 am

Did you celebrate your son's bar mitzvah

Of course not, what a peculiar idea.

↑ Sunny Days ↓

Thu, Jun 16 2022, 11:16 am

What are you supposed to do with a cough?

Expel it! No questions asked and no returning allowed

↑ Elfrida ↓

Thu, Jun 16 2022, 2:04 pm

How Many bras does camper need?

I feel there should be some kind of flow chart to help answer this, but that's beyond my internet abilities, so:

Is the camper male or female?
Male - none (or try a different kind of camp)
Female - go to next question

Is the camper above the age of ten?
No - hopefully none
Yes - go to next question

Does the camper need to wear a bra?
No - then don't bother buying them yet.
Yes, but she doesn't want to - send some starter bras. Peer pressure might get her started without your intervention. Go to next question.
Yes - go to next question

Does the camper normally wear a bra?
No - then why should she begin at camp?
Yes - go to next question

Do her contemporaries normally wear bras?
No - good, then there's no peer pressure, and she doesn't need one. Think how much money you have just saved!
Yes - the situation is becoming more urgent. Go to next question
How am I supposed to know? - if you are that out of touch there isn't much hope for your daughter. Go to next question anyway.

Does the camp list give a recommended amount?
No - give her the amount she normally wears in a week (extra for the Nine Days) and one or two spare. Teach her how to wash them by hand and let them dry overnight.
Yes - multiply that amount by the campers age, and then divide it by the numbers of days until laundry day. Double the final figure to be on the safe side. She can then make her fortune selling spare bras to less well equipped campers, whose mothers actually expect them to wash their bra by hand! Bonus, she'll earn enough that she doesn't need to ask you for any extra canteen money. She may even make enough to cover the cost of camp next year!

↑ BokerTov ↓

Thu, Jun 16 2022, 9:03 pm

PLEASE help me make a hefsik!!! Desperate!

Sorry honey but that’s one thing I will never help you do. Anything but that!

↑ Plonis ↓

Fri, Jun 17 2022, 1:13 am

Epidural shortage
Thanks for the tip! I'll be stocking up! How many do you think I can take in advance?

↑ zaq ↓

Sat, Jun 18 2022, 11:34 pm

Recipe for blondies
1. Be blond.
2. Marry a blond.
Foolproof.

Second best:
1. Have a blond parent.
2. Marry a blond.

OR
1. Be blond
2. Marry someone with a blond parent

50% chance.

Third best:
1. Have a blond parent.
2. Marry someone with a blond parent.

25% chance.

↑ a2z ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 3:03 am

zaq wrote:

Or bleach

↑ DrMom ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 4:02 am

Candy platter, nice cake, minotaurs Israel

Candy platters and cake I can help with.

No minotaurs here in E"Y. But you're close! Try Crete.

↑ BokerTov ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:35 am

Investing for Dummies

Why would you? Rather invest for Smarties.

↑ Sunny Days ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:50 am

Eli Perlman- marriage counselor

Is he related to Simcha Perlman? That might be telling

↑ 4g01o ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 7:15 pm

Ever Skip Period due to Stress?

Yes, I just tell it not to come. I'm too stressed to deal with it all, bedikas, mikvah etc...

↑ zaq ↓

Sun, Jun 19 2022, 11:57 pm

Would you eat at a restaurant
is it kosher? Is it near me? Are you treating? Then yes.

↑ zaq ↓

Tue, Jun 21 2022, 2:16 am

Am I late?
How should I know? Don't you keep a calendar?

↑ BokerTov

Tue, Jun 21 2022, 2:20 am

Shelled out my bathroom by mistake

What a mistake! Reminds me of the guy who was supposed to have one tooth extracted and the dentist extracted them all.

↑ zaq ↓

Tue, Jun 21 2022, 2:20 am

What’s the point of high school (girls)
Chessed projects and babysitting aside? It's how we grow future kallahs for high school (boys).