I want to keep hosting for simchas, but…

Alternative

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:50 am

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

In a hotel they can run around the lobby and run in the halls. They replace the furniture frequently so if the climb on it it doesn’t really make a difference. My kids are not your business and I payed to stay in hotel. I do not need to keep them quiet if it is in inconvenient to me.

Shocked that anyone actually thinks like this. What kind of hotels do you go to? Have you seen other kids running wild in the lobby and halls, or only yours?

You aren't the only one who paid to stay in the hotel - everyone else did too, and they paid for a pleasant quiet experience, and to be able to sit on furniture without shoe marks.

Last edited by Alternative on Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:51 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:51 am

amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:

Sounds like you should just stay home in that case

Ok, so don’t invite me to your Simcha. Like I said, I’ve never encountered a situation like what OP is describing. I figure out what I’m going to do when I get where I’m going and I see what is going on.
Why in the world would I stay home because I don’t have space to pack extra things?

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:52 am

amother [ Green ] wrote:

You think you are entitled to destroy someone’s play room instead of packing a bag. I’m floored. I thought I had seen it all. Just wow.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:53 am

amother [ Green ] wrote:

When I go out of town for a wedding, I’m not packing toys into my suitcase or car.

So what if you and up in a place with no toys at all?

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:53 am

amother [ Springgreen ] wrote:

Like you said, you're their mom. Bring toys for them, or get up, get dressed, and take them for a walk outside, or a walk to shul. Or maybe even take them to the backyard, if that's okay with your host. Take them to visit the baalei simcha and eat breakfast there. If you weren't told you can stay for breakfast you shouldn't be eating breakfast at your hosts' home anyways.

Clearly you haven’t been reading the rest of my posts. I have no issue taking my kids outside somewhere and entertaining them. The only thing I said I can’t/won’t do is bring toys with me. That doesn’t mean I will allow them to make noise and disturb others in a hotel or in someone’s house.

amother

↑ Orange ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:54 am

amother [ Green ] wrote:

As the hostess of a Simcha, I would NOT appreciate a guest coming over to my house with their kids at 7:00 am.
This whole conversation is so foreign to me though, because I’ve never encountered such a situation. When I host, I tell my guests where everything is, including the playroom. They are welcome to play as long as they clean up. My kids know that if they have something they don’t want other people touching, it needs to be in their room.
We have a sound machine in our room, so it drowns out most of the noise. (OP, maybe that’s also part of the solution, so you and your kids don’t wake up.)

If she doesn’t want her guests using her playroom in the morning, she isn’t required to do so. Not everyone can sleep with a sound machine. I certainly can’t. She should set the conditions and the baalei simcha can decide if they still want to put people up at her home.

Jello

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:54 am

I know it's been said already, but I'm going to say it again. You don't have to host guests with children! On my block, nearly everyone has guest space, and about half of the neighbors won't host kids in their guest space (other than an infant in a crib). Everyone understands and is happy to work within those constraints when placing guests for a simcha. My parents and inlaws are thrilled to stay at the "no-kids" accommodations because they are usually tip top and really lovely and fresh.

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:56 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

I didn’t say her playroom MUST be open to everyone. What I said was that as a hostess of a Simcha, I would not appreciate my guests who is t up at 6:30 or 7:00 or even 7:30 in the morning. Like the OP, shabbos is my only morning to sleep. My kids know to go downstairs when they wake up, not to come and wake me up. Of course she should set conditions, not sure why you think I disagree.

↑ Sesame ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:57 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

Wow I assumed op’s guests just didn’t realize they were disturbing their hosts. But it seems like many would be guests think they’re entitled to op’s space and toys. Personally I’m grateful for comfortable beds that don’t smell like mold (I had that one time and it was awful). If they’re comfortable rooms I can deal with bringing toys along and keeping the kids in the bedrooms. No one said traveling for a simcha is convenient.

I too am shocked. Once stayed by sil. Even then I told dd only in bedroom and kept quiet as much as possible and brought my own toys. The only place I wouldn’t do that is my parents, unless host tells me that it’s okay pls take toys and can play in lounge.
I totally cannot understand why on earth ppl assume it’s okay to open cupboards and take out toys unless they left the toy in their guest room. On that note someone asked me to stay if I go away sukkos. I’m definitely saying no because I don’t want their kids touching my toys or going through my playroom.

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:58 am

Alternative wrote:

We went to a hotel once with a whole group of family members. Some of them were letting their kids run around the halls, totally hefker. (My kids were in our room) Multiple guests complained, and management almost kicked us out. Honestly, it was such a chilul Hashem, and I’m happy my kids were not involved. That is NOT the way to behave.

amother

↑ Orange ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 9:59 am

amother [ Green ] wrote:

You must have very nice neighbors who are willing to accommodate your guests. When I’ve stayed for shabbos the host has always said we were welcome to bring the kids over anytime, because many of the accommodations didn’t have anywhere for the kids to play.

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:00 am

amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:

You think you are entitled to destroy someone’s play room instead of packing a bag. I’m floored. I thought I had seen it all. Just wow.

Jeeze, go back and read my other posts. That’s not even in the slightest bit what I said.

amother

↑ Orange ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:00 am

Sesame wrote:

I only allow adults to stay when I’m not there because I don’t trust kids in my home when I’m not around.

amother

↑ Green ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:04 am

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

I live in a community with many young families, and a wonderful park. Again, I never ever said that children should have free reign in the playroom or that guests should have free reign in any part of the house. But most of the families in my neighborhood don’t have separate guest areas. My guests also don’t assume they have free reign of any part of their hosts house. Honestly, I don’t know anyone who thinks like that. When you are a guest, you need to be respectful of those around you, whether that means your host family or other guests in a hotel.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:05 am

Sesame wrote:

People already start to "book accomodation" for Succot? Surprised

amother

↑ Cinnamon ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:06 am

amother [ Outerspace ] wrote:

Some people sound entitled. When I am sent to sleep at a neighbor I assume we are there for beds and that’s all. As annoying as it is as soon as the kids wake up we go over to the host’s house. In most cases it’s expected that you hang out in the host’s house for most of shabbos. I’ve had to walk through playrooms and I always told my kids they can’t touch anything. When I travel with very young children I bring toys along for the time they are stuck in the bedroom.

Your kids sound either really young, are already preteens, or angels!

Also, you never have kids waking up at different times? There's always the kid sleeping in after a late night who I hesitate to wake as dc will be howling with exhaustion for a bit.

↑ Sesame ↓

Tue, Jun 07 2022, 10:06 am

amother [ Green ] wrote:

So if your guests awake at say 730, you expect them not to come over cos it may wake you, but to stay where they’re sleeping and have their kids play there? Don’t understand this… I’d assume I give the key to my guests just in case. My guests my problem. Am I wrong? Would it be okay to expect ppl to stay at place they’re sleeping til 10ish? I’d have thought definitely not okay to hang at place guests sleep unless they’re quiet in their own room, or it’s someone quietly reading in the lounge.