Please explain the value in not having texting

↑ Blessing1 ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:34 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

I work on the computer, so emails really are pretty much always available to me. I rarely text actually, and when I do it's really basic info. I was recently somewhere where the phone service was spotty and it was great to have text.

And in the olden days when people wrote a lot of letters it was also always on hand.

I do get annoyed when people text me something that they should have called me for, like if it's going to be a long conversation or whatever, just pick up the phone and call! But that's just me.

When I was growing up, the telephone was the great distractor (and still is, honestly), but there were always distractions. And sometimes in the olden days life was pretty boring.

Most people don't have email at hand all the time like texting. Definitely not the crowd that doesn't text. How can letter writing even be compared to texting? It's not instant back and forth conversation.
No texting is a boundary, just like any other boundary, and I understand it.

↑ Mommyg8 ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 12:40 am

Blessing1 wrote:

I WISH texting was instant back and forth! I find it so frustrating that people don't respond right away and then I go do something else and miss their response.... and really, they're right, there's no reason to respond instantly, and in that sense I actually find texting less distracting than the phone.

In any case, I use texting almost solely for business-like communication - shipping status, simcha updates, bus status updates, basic communication with family members such as "please get milk on the way home". That's it. So I'm not sure what the problem is.

↑ Mommyg8 ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 1:00 am

Moonlight wrote:

I would bet if you're on imamother you dont have an issue w texting. So you are asking the wrong crowd. I like the answer how it's bad for your kids cuz I agree my kids often say something about how I'm always texting. And I think I'm pretty good abt it

I do a lot of things while my children are around, and before texting I was on the phone or talking to neighbors, etc. If I feel it's getting out of hand, I can put away the phone for certain periods of time.

I still don't see what the religious problem here is, and I'm waiting for someone to explain it to me.

real israeli

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 5:21 am

I’m just wondering, how many adults do you know who have texting completely disabled on their phone? Nearly all of my friends are yeshivish. Many are not able to send/receive pictures and files. But only one isn’t able to send texts - and even she can receive them. She just needs to call with her response. So I’m wondering whether there really is a widespread culture of “no texting” anywhere. Maybe among real chassidish?

↑ singleagain ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 6:42 am

Thank you for translating.

I still think it's not so ... Again . I'm not sure the word ... Maybe practical ... To completely ban a thing. Just because it's new. I think it'll lead to a lot of difficulties. Especially if you don't stay in an insular environment. Also just in general I think it's better to teach discipline when your young, then expect you to magically understand when your older.

Honestly, like a lot of people have an ongoing conversation about body safety with kids why not have an ongoing conversation about technology safety too?

mommy3b2c ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 7:23 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

There is no problem. But it’s hard for people to let go of what they are taught to believe. There is nothing wrong with texting. Not texting as a “frum” thing is just plain silly. If you don’t text because you feel that with your specific personality it would distract you from doing homework properly with your kids or whatever, then I can see why it’s admirable.

Coffee beanz

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 7:47 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

This is wrong. It was the Chasam Sofer that said that chadash assur min hatorah - he didn't twist it, he used that as a protection for his kehillah against the Reform movement. And if you look at the history of different countries, it seemed to have worked.

Exactly! its talking about no adding on to the torah. The reform movement was changing torah. Its not talking about never doing new things as far as I know but it could be other people hold differently.

Growing

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 8:01 am

The value is that you're not connected where you shouldn't be
our minds are so fragmented already
Just because the technology is available does that mean
your mind should be processing random updates and requests all day

I don't have text so I'm not connected to the every day lives of
my class
my old neighbors
my not so old neighbors
my new neighbors
my cousins

Texting creates an illusion of being connected
When you don't text you know who is important to you and what is important to you
You're busy with the things you should be busy

and just for the record - no - noone needs to have text just to convenience you
if you need them - call them
if they don't have text than they are living their dandy lives very conveniently without it
Always on always available is for slaves - not for kings

b.chadash

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 8:10 am

Some of you may not remember that only 20 years ago, texting did not exist the way it does today. I think it was just coming out then. We managed just fine and did not feel anything missing from our lives.

The fact that almost everyone has it today, does not make it a necessity for those who choose to live their lives the way they always have, communicating in a way that they always have.

For those of us who cannot imagine living without texting, it is annoying for us to have these people in our lives because it makes it harder for us.

But I don't think it's right to call it "silly".
In many ways, texting is more convenient, though in some ways, it takes away from the quality of life.

Maybe that's what those people who dont text are holding onto.

For example, my mother doesn't text (not for frum reasons, just because it's too annoying for her at her age.) Every time she wants to ask me something, she calls. I talk to her all the time. Usually it's a small question. If she would text, I would talk to her much less often.

And that's actually the point of texting. We don't want to bother having to talk to people. So much easier to just text. Whether we want to admit it or not, it leads to a general breakdown in communication. Many important conversations get relegated to texts. .

Someone I know once complained to me that she made a beautiful dinner for someone who just had a baby and the new mother texted her to thank her. My friend was very insulted. She felt that a call was warranted. That was about ten years ago. I wonder if she would still feel that way today.

I used to make sure to call people when inviting them for a meal on Shabbos. These days I text. In so many ways, we have moved from calls to texting, and it's hard to deny that this has changed the way we communicate to being more impersonal.

Shuly

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 8:18 am

When I was in seminary in Israel, over 20 years ago, texting had just come out and some cell phones had it.
It was a non-issue and was just considered an interesting feature that was nice to have, as long as you actually knew others with that feature so that you could use it.

Fast forward 20 years and there are now something called "Kosher phones" in Israel which only make calls and don't do anything else. No good chareidi Israeli or Bais Yaakov seminary girl would dare to get a phone with texting.

So it's definitely not a fear of the new since it was around for a few years before it became considered unkosher.

My guess is that it became addictive and was therefore stopped.

I know many girls who were able to text under their desks in class without looking. Their thumbs were in constant motion and when they had to actually write, they could barely write a sentence without using text language!

↑ Blessing1 ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 8:50 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

Texting is not a problem for YOU. Texting is not wrong for YOU. But others decided to choose this boundary for themselves and there's nothing wrong with that. I understand and admire it. It is not silly to not text as a frum thing. It's quite praiseworthy.

Simple1 ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 9:26 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

I heard this argument but I don't understand it.

Any conversation can become inappropriate if we are not careful. And is there the same problem with emails? Letters? How is this different?

For the most part I don't find texting a problem. However, on occasion when I use it to vent, I usually regret it after, because the words are there to stay. When you talk in person, the conversation evolves to the point where you likely end off on a pleasant note.

I definitely don't find texting addictive. Once the discussion gets too complicated, I end up making a call.

PinkFridge ↓

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 9:32 am

Blessing1 wrote:

I really understand it. When texting, we can text things that we'd otherwise never say. It's also too easy for a texting conversation to become inappropriate.
I myself have a guideline that I don't text men. (Besides for my father and brothers.) Everyone sets up boundaries that are right and important to them.

I hear this. But texting is convenient. Even some of the frummest people I know can text (using numbers). Is it possible that even with simple text one can receive images?

Lovable

Thu, Aug 05 2021, 9:37 am

Growing wrote:

Meh
I find the bolded really off. Texting=illusion? Your post comes across as defensive and Im not sure why. No one is encouraging people without text to get it, just seeking explanations.
But please be advised that texting happens to be an amazing way of keeping in touch with the people you dont really have time to speak with. I dont know about you, but I work most of the day and do not have time to shmooze with friends, family, and acquaintances on a daily basis.