I grew up with very different halachos for 9 days / 9 av

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:03 am

Im chassidish I grew up that we can shower during the 9 days just make a little colder than your used to and friday before shabbos you can do everything regular. Regular shower, cutting nails etc just cant eat meat obviously. And shabbos is totally regular with bigdei shabbos for everyone.
Kids have regular baths all week just try to do no playing in the bath.
Im hearing now how most people dont do things that way. Most dont shower at all all week and friday is a cold shower for shabbos and on shabbos the men wear bigdei chol. Am I right?
What are your minhagim?

Notsobusy ↓

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:12 am

I'm litvish and we pretty much do what you do. I definitely never heard of anyone wearing everyday clothing on Shabbos. That's absolutely wrong. We don't mourn on Shabbos.

I do know some people who don't take showers or take very few showers during the week, but most people don't do that anymore.

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Chasidish as well. I don't know anyone that doesn't shower all week and doesn't take regular showers on Friday. I've also never heard of wearing bigdei chol on shabbos, there's no mourning on shabbos.

↑ Notsobusy

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:23 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Idk I hear that its litvish/yeshivish people who do things differently like that
And what I heard was that the men will put on a weekday suit on shabbos

Absolutely not. We don't mourn on Shabbos and we never wear weekday clothing on Shabbos. Even people who don't shower during the 9 days, shower L'kavod Shabbos.

amother

Begonia

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:24 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m chassidish and we do basically like you. My husband grew up with taking no showers but I quickly changed that. He would smell so bad after two days of no showers and I couldn’t take it.

amother

Daylily

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:25 am

You probably misunderstood the weekday clothing part.

The halacha is to change into weekday clothes right at the zman Motzei Shabbos.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 11:17 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Navy

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:25 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Idk I hear that its litvish/yeshivish people who do things differently like that
And what I heard was that the men will put on a weekday suit on shabbos

Nope not us, litvish jpf here

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:26 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Idk I hear that its litvish/yeshivish people who do things differently like that
And what I heard was that the men will put on a weekday suit on shabbos

The Rema says that the minhag among Askenazim is to wear weekday cloths on Shabbos Chazon.

The reason why Chasidim don't is because there is an obvious difference between their weekday and Shabbos clothing so it would be public open aveilus which is not allowed on Shabbos.

Even among litvish yeshivish people the only ones who wear weekday clothing on Shabbos Chazon are the ones who wear suits and ties during the week. The others don't because of the reason given above

chanchy123

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I’m not chassidish and have grown up exactly the same way are describing(except that kids can play in the bath because there is no inyan of chinuch for aveilut).

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:32 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Idk I hear that its litvish/yeshivish people who do things differently like that
And what I heard was that the men will put on a weekday suit on shabbos

I'm litvish/yeshivish.
I take showers as needed during the 9 days. That means, on a day that I didn't sweat at all, I'd skip that night if I felt like I could. I think this year I took every day. A drop cooler than usual.

We all wear bigdei shabbos on shabbos. You're not supposed to do anything showing mourning publicly on shabbos. I even asked my husband if I should take off my shoes a minute before shabbos is over, as if not then I'll be wearing them the second Tisha bav starts, and his reply was chas veshalom! We're not starting mourning yet on shabbos! (Besides for not eating past shkiya)

All my litvish yeshivish friends do the same. Not sure where you got your info from

amother

Watermelon

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:40 am

s1 wrote:

The yekkes are very strict about shabbos chazon , some don’t wear shabbos clothes or wear a weekday tie, no guests, simpler food than normal.

Maybe some, though I never heard of this. I come from a German background and we always wore regular shabbos clothes as did my Yekke grandparents.

Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:43 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I grew up keeping the same, except we didn’t have to alter the way we took a shower, except to maybe make it a little shorter. I am raising my kids this way as well.
I have never heard not to shower at all, and I have certainly never heard or seen anyone who treated shabbos differently. In hilchos availus, there is no mourning on shabbos. We act the way we do during the nine days because of availus. So if hilchos availus do not apply for shabbos when one is literally sitting shiva, why would they apply now?

↑ Ema of 5

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 8:45 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Idk I hear that its litvish/yeshivish people who do things differently like that
And what I heard was that the men will put on a weekday suit on shabbos

My husbands entire family lives in Lakewood, they are all very yeshivish, none of them wear weekday suits on shabbos. There is no availus on shabbos.

sky

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 9:52 am

We wear one weekday article clothing on Shabbos chazon. (We live in lkwd and yekke)

After chatzos on Shabbos not to do things like go on family walks.

We do cut nails and take almost normal shower for Shabbos. (The nails I was surprised about but we asked on Friday and read in Sefer on Shabbos)
During 9 days take much cooler quicker showers. But it is better to do less.
During 9 days don’t wear Shabbos clothing during the week. I got engaged during 9 days. Only chosson and kallah wore Shabbos clothing to vort.

A lot of this we reviewed in a Sefer on Shabbos

amother

DarkCyan

Sun, Jul 18 2021, 11:10 am

Lakewood, yeshivish. I shower every day of the nine days except for Tisha b'Av. I actually took 2 showers on Friday. Wore my regular Shabbos clothing and changed a few minutes after Shabbos.