Designer buys: 'Don't judge me!' and 'respect me!'

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Shopping

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

↑ keym ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:20 pm

Lovable wrote:

I did not read through the entire thread, but Im just wondering if anyone is thinking along these lines
Regarding the Judging: As yidden, we all know that judging others is not acceptable. Be it for the behavior, dress, way of life etc.
Regarding the Respect: As yidden, we are obligated to respect another yid as much as we respect ourselves. Period. No matter their background, way of life, mantality and so on
Just throwing it out there

True.
So we may not judge another woman for wearing a lace top? a lace front? A chenille?
We can't judge and say that a woman wearing a shpitzel or a front is frummer than my "past my shoulder uncovered human shaitel" right?

↑ DVOM ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:20 pm

amother [ Burntblack ] wrote:

It in a certain sense the OP was judging those people as perhaps being shallow inside based on their outside... though she did say she was willing to be proven wrong...

Yup, I did say that.

It's a pattern of thinking I need to continuously turn my mind away from.

Judging highly fashionable, very in style, super conformist people as shallow or uninteresting is a fault of mine. I know it's an incorrect assumption; I've been proven wrong too many times to count.

↑ enneamom ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:22 pm

Lovable wrote:

I totally agree! When I tried expressing it on the original thread, I was bombarded by amother Milk, that Im being rude, bullying etc.
But the truth is the truth, no denying it.....you are 100% right
and the ONLY reason someone would care is if they are jealous. Jealousy is a hard thing to admit - which is why this thread is going on & on & on

So...
The Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah and every other group of rabbanim throughout history--and there have been many--who decried spending on mosros and even went so far as to make takanos, were all simply jealous, judgmental, and speaking lashon hara.

This is not a new problem, and throughout history, it's always been the wrong way to live.

It's yiddishkeit 101.

↑ Lovable ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:22 pm

keym wrote:

Correct 100%

singleagain

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:22 pm

hoff123 wrote:

I’m just wondering why do we care???? Why on earth do we have pages and pages of ppl writing abt what other ppl wear and buy?!? What is wrong with ppl???? If u can’t look past externals then we have a problem! If someone wants to spend $2000 on a shoe then good for her and if someone spends $2 on a shoe good g from her too! why does it affect us? It looks like all these ‘frugal ruchniyus’ ppl feel good putting down the ‘brand name buyers’. If ur that ruchniyusdig then stop with the Loshon hara and chill out! LET EVERYONE BUY WHATEVER THEY WANT!

I think the problem is when the community feels pressure to buy the expensive stuff even when they can't afford it

amother

↑ Crimson ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:23 pm

Lovable wrote:

No, people care because it is an actual problem. People are feeling pressure to spend money they do not have to buy things they do not need.

↑ DVOM ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:23 pm

amother [ Vermilion ] wrote:

Ok I'll chime in.
I live in Monsey with very little peer pressure. I am neutral Chassidish.
I bought the Doona stroller because I'm in and out of my car a lot and was told it's the best one. I also got a bugaboo because I had bought a cheaper one and hated it so decided to get a really good one.
But, I also wear clothing from Shein and get my kids clothing from H&M. I also drive a very simple car. I can bh afford designer stuff and I like nice things but am not into this whole designer thing
But I did just get myself a designer bag because I loved it and it was a great deal. I get a thrill from bargains and also bought some designer stuff for my kids that I came across for a great price.
I guess I just want to say that not everyone that you see with designer stuff is immersed in it. And some people really do get better strollers for valid reasons.

I agree. Very true. For many, designer goods are fun, but not deeply important to them.

↑ Lovable ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:24 pm

enneamom wrote:

Are you part of the bolded groups? I doubt anyone on Imamother is. In which case, it is not our place to do the things that they can
Sorry

↑ hoff123 ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:24 pm

keym wrote:

Someone with a long shaitel can be frummer then someone with a shpitzel-u have no idea what is going on in ppls lives which is exactly why u can’t judge! It’s noones business to say she’s frum, she’s right ,she’s wrong etc...let’s leave that up to hashem

amother

Cherry ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:26 pm

Maybe some people NEED that in their lives. The same way some people can control their desire to overeat and some not. The same way some people need a lot of different things in life that you don't.

As far as paying more for practicality such as a good stroller that is a completely different conversation.

↑ keym ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:26 pm

quote="Lovable"]Correct 100%[/quote]

Great.

So whats with all those threads
15 lace front threads last week.
The threads complaining about skirt length. About stocking color, denier, tights, etc.

Because lets face it, people judge.
I, in the yeshivish community, freely point out the hypocrisy of those who don't want to be judged for the Doona yet have no problem judging someone else because of their skirt length or color or choice of head covering.

↑ enneamom ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:27 pm

Lovable wrote:

Are you part of the bolded groups? I doubt anyone on Imamother is. In which case, it is not our place to do the things that they can
Sorry

Of course it's our place. It's everyone's place to care about the society our kids are growing up in.

↑ Lovable ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:29 pm

keym wrote:

quote="Lovable"]Correct 100%

Great.

So whats with all those threads
15 lace front threads last week.
The threads complaining about skirt length. About stocking color, denier, tights, etc.

Because lets face it, people judge.
I, in the yeshivish community, freely point out the hypocrisy of those who don't want to be judged for the Doona yet have no problem judging someone else because of their skirt length or color or choice of head covering.[/quote]

Again, you are right. I was not on those threads at all, the title itself totally put me off. And no, I dont wear lace fronts or tops, or anything close to that. But I do believe - strongly believe - in respecting everyone, and I mean everyone. We are all human and sometimes make mistakes & judge others. But to make a whole long thread of judging and mocking others - be it because of their designer cloths, doona or lace front - is totally out of boundaries

↑ DVOM ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:31 pm

amother [ Navyblue ] wrote:

I love this synopsis, but I want to bring another viewpoint. I don't wear labels splashed on my clothing. I do not have children yet, but I would not dress my kids in Moncler coats or t-shirts with Moschino emblazoned across the front. I don't choose clothing because they have words and a label. Moreover, I would be worried about how others perceive me. My husband is a law student and I think it looks silly to dress in loud designer clothing while we have student loans to pay (which will iyH eventually morphe into tuition, a mortgage, etc.) But, I do have a passion for aesthetics. I enjoy putting together beautiful outfits- choosing skirts with structure and shape, and dresses with beautiful textures. I find a lot of beauty in designer clothing. I enjoy going into stores like Century and putting together designer outfits. I love picking out baby gifts and buying beautiful knits or outfits with matching hats and shoes that make a child look like a little doll. I consider myself an intellectual individual. I have an advanced degree and I listen to podcasts and read in much of my spare time. I can understand why people want to buy beautiful strollers for their children- not because they are status symbols, but because they are beautiful! Of course, it is challenging to balance this outlook and easy to become obsessed with these items, especially when it becomes about keeping up with everyone else. But I want to bring another perspective. I don't dress the way I do to signal I am part of a group (which I am not) or the "right type of person". I dress this way because it is a creative outlet for me and I enjoy wearing the outfits I put together. Does this indicate some sort of deficit in my personality traits? Perhaps, but I am okay with that as long as it makes me happy and doesn't become overwhelming or stressful or about keeping up with others.
I am being very honest, and open to hearing if others can relate as well.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, Navy.

Beauty is very important to me. I don't consider it a deficit in my personality. I don't consider it a deficit in yours. In fact, I value it very much, and it brings me a lot of joy. I love to put together a beautiful outfit, a beautiful party, a beautiful table, a beautiful gift, a beautiful home.

No doubt, many people buying designer stuff are doing so because they genuinely like it.

However, no doubt many people are buying designer stuff because they feel they have to in order to fit in.

↑ hoff123

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:32 pm

I’m gona leave this chat now because I’m bh happy with my $20 skirt from Ali my $8 top from shein....and I don’t need to judge my fellow Jews I’m happy that they feel good in their clothes!
like I learned in nursery and I can remind all of u that forgot-1) don’t speak lashon hara, 2) we all have to be bachdus to have moshiach come-I kind of need moshiach so can we all just stop this! Bye! 😘😘

↑ Lovable ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:32 pm

enneamom wrote:

Of course it's our place. It's everyone's place to care about the society our kids are growing up in.

I will say it again - its not out place. Not according to the Torah nor any moral values.
You cannot and will never change the world.
Maybe moving to a secluded island can solve your issue of the problematic society

amother

↑ Cherry

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:33 pm

enneamom wrote:

Of course it's our place. It's everyone's place to care about the society our kids are growing up in.

This topic is amazing. So ultimately we want to solve the problem that exists. I certainly don't want my kids growing up and NEEDING certain things (although that's ok to some extent)

Let's all take upon ourselves to drop one thing that we care about that is purely for other people to see and not due to quality even if we could afford it.

Who wants to start.

↑ Lovable ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:33 pm

hoff123 wrote:

😘😘

amother

↑ Crimson ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:35 pm

Lovable wrote:

This is not a Torah attitude at all.

↑ enneamom ↓

Wed, Jun 09 2021, 12:37 pm

amother [ Cherry ] wrote:

I think this is a great idea.

Page 5 of 9

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Next