the sixth grade teacher from h e double hockey sticks

Tila ↓

Tue, Feb 19 2008, 1:03 pm

I bribed my son to behave in a class where is forever being abused by the teacher. He is not the only child she is picking on, and I got the idea to bribe him from another mother. The school's VP said, if it gets him to the end of the year....
whaT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE TEACHER?????

think getting the parents of other kids who are being abused together for a meeting to try to get rid of her (less than four months to go..) or let it ride with the bribe?? The VP is using basketball practice as a take away. If he makes it through the week.. he can go to practice...
he is not a stupid kid (top of this class...)
he has friends etc and those friends support his antics.

so, do I let it ride??

↑ Tila

Wed, Feb 20 2008, 11:02 am

She will send a kid out after three strikes of an inappropriate behavior. (the school has enforced this new system). My son on occasion has hit the three strike limit and had been sent out. While he is out the teacher will say things like "He is deserving because he is not normal". his friends told him that, and when other kids go out she do the same of any child that has left, in context. She tells the kids of punishments she had inflicted upon her daughters when they misbehaved (cut their hair off, clean the floor with a tooth brush, etc...) she yells, and grabs the kids really hard not realizing she left five finger tip size bruises on the child's upper arm. I could go on. At this point the kids are prepping for gov't exams and we hope she is working on that. They cannot replace her because of the short duration left (so I am told) and french teachers are hard to come by. The Vp of the school knows how miserable his brother was when he had her many years ago at another school. The VP is dealing with the behavior right now. Learnig to deal with unpleasant people we meet in life. Like a boss, etc...
I like the VP, but I feel his hands are tied and everyone wants to see this teacher leave yet no one wants to truly get involved.
I can go ALONE to the Board Of Jewish Education, but I feel there is strength in numbers.

Love My Babes

Wed, Feb 20 2008, 11:29 am

I do not think this is normal? teachers have no right to do that to students. there is supposed to be discipline if a child misbehaves, but I think the teacher in this case is the bigger issue. I also had bad teachers. noone ends up learning anything, and the students just retaliate. why cant the school say something to her? or have a printed letter signed by all the parents that the children are not happy in the class and we hope there is a way you can help out to make it better.....

this sounds to be like matilda for those of you who saw it! lol

mumoo ↓

Fri, Feb 22 2008, 8:34 am

unbelievable how teachers (and administrators) haven't figured out that it can be just one incident or even one word that can negatively affect a child FOR LIFE. if you really can't lose the teacher or the school, there are ways to keep on strengthening your child at home.

tell him how to stay out of her way
tell him that all teachers are human and make mistakes
tell him you may not agree with her tactics, but she is still the teacher

keep advocating for him but teach him how to gt along in a bad situation. without diminishing authority in his eyes, there are things you can say that will help him throughout life when he comes up against unreasonable, negative or kooky people.

we have had (and continue to have) really BAD teachers. it is a good lesson in human behavior and getting along. as long as you don't reinforce negative message he gets in school, he will probably be ok

Barbara ↓

Fri, Feb 22 2008, 9:19 am

Tila wrote:

Good heavens, your poor son!

Please, Tila, stop making excuses for this poor excuse for an administration. Sure, it is difficult to get teachers at this point in the year, but I bet they'd manage if the teacher required maternity leave. Moreover, it sounds like this has been a problem for years.

From your desription, your son is being abused and assaulted in his classroom. This must stop. Talk to like-minded parents of kids in the class. Put this in writing and make demands of the administration. Go not only to the BJE, but also to your local Department of Education (no idea where you live, but in the US, religious schools *do* receive public funding for things like textbooks) and, if necessary, the local police. Write a letter to the local Jewish newspaper to expose what is going on (include a photo of the bruises she causes). Look into placing your son in a different school, or homeschooling him for the remainder of the year.

We've lived through emotionally abusive teachers, and I convinced myself that it was just a few more months, DS would be OK. I was wrong. Years later, we're still living with the pscyhological damage. Your son is older, and presumably less fragile, but this is still a huge problem. He is entitled to feel safe in his own school; under these conditions, he cannot.

Best of luck to you.

↑ mumoo ↓

Fri, Feb 22 2008, 9:56 am

most of the descriptions of abuse are indirect reports. did op see these bruises? see the family punishments? Also op's son is not a totally innocent victim. You know there are kids who push buttons, really hard.
don't bash me because I already know about zero tolerance for abuse and I had two children who were teachers targets. there is just another side to this story.
There are also other ways to manage a situation with an 11 year old student whose behavior does seem to set off this unstable teacher, without involving the police. He should know that his behavior has consequences and they are significantly more intense if an unstable person is involved.

ffbmom

Sat, Feb 23 2008, 6:32 pm

Am I just missing something here? Why is only the teacher to blame? What kind of a SCHOOL would put up with this type of behaviour from a teacher? Boy, when I think of the absolutest minor things, compared to this one, that I've been hauled over the carpet for! Have we come to the point of assuming abuse, disrespect, etc. is OK for our kids? Schools cannot survive without students, and I'd be really careful chosing a school with those values. Why stage a coup with the parents? I'd go straight to the principal to discuss this teacher's behaviour, and respectfully state that you expect something be done about this for the sake of the emotional wellbeing of the children. Is this chinuch? By all means, get the parents involved, but the school is ultimately accountable to hire the teachers.

ChavieK

Sat, Feb 23 2008, 9:05 pm

If you feel that there is really nothing that you can do with the school, & sometimes that is the case,or there is no other choice of school, I would suggest sitting in the classroom as much as possible. You & any other like minded parents. Or just drop by the classroom. It will put teacher on best behavior. The boys do need to behave, but they are 11 years old, they will misbehave sometimes & getting kicked out of class is reasonable, but not insulting him in front of the rest of the class. Never, ever lay a hand on a child, that crossed a big line.

↑ Barbara

Sun, Feb 24 2008, 10:50 pm

mumoo wrote:

You're right, it doesn't appear that the child is entirely innocent. But I have to believe the OP's description of what is happening, and she reports that when the child is out of the class, the teacher makes disparaging remarks about him to the other students (& that her son has heard similar comments made about other students). She also reports that the teacher has grabbed the student so hard that she left marks on his arms. That's just beyond the pale for me. (Frankly, while the descriptions of the punishments of her own children lead me to believe the teacher has a lot more issues than discussed here, I don't care. I'm only concerned about how she treats her students.)

The thing is, teachers have to resist having their buttons pushed. If they're going to vent, do it in the teacher's lounge, or at night with his/her spouse. But a consistent pattern, reportedly over a number of years, of these issues leads me to see this as a huge problem.

mumoo wrote:

don't bash me because I already know about zero tolerance for abuse and I had two children who were teachers targets. there is just another side to this story.

No bashing from me. We disagree. Life would be dull if we all agreed all of the time. But as I said, from my POV, there's no situation in which the teacher's actions are acceptable.

mumoo wrote:

There are also other ways to manage a situation with an 11 year old student whose behavior does seem to set off this unstable teacher, without involving the police. He should know that his behavior has consequences and they are significantly more intense if an unstable person is involved.

Again, we'll just have to disagree here. Any student should know that his actions have consequences -- being sent to the principal's office, being denied privileges at the school, having parents contacted, even being asked to leave the school. Those consequences shouldn't include verbal abuse, having derogatory statements made about the student to the class, or physical harm.

↑ mumoo

Tue, Feb 26 2008, 1:59 pm

yy wrote:

I personally would not put my child in a classroom with an abusive teacher for one single day. I would take him out and homeschool or put him in a different school, and notify the school why. Chances are they will suddenly find a way to fix the situation -- especially if more parents take their kids out, too.

if your child was at all misbehaving or contributing to the situation with a bad attitude or smart mouth, they'd be happy to see him go- and few schools would pick him up (or his parents, for that matter). It's not all black and white.

Barbara- I do agree with zero tolerance of abuse for children. Children should never be abused- but there are not always neat and tidy solutions. Firing the teacher, changing schools, rallying other parents, not so simple. Do you want to take a boy away from his friends in 6th grade (only two years to go) and make him start over socially? Not every environment can be tailor-made for everyone's comfort level.

A bad teacher is not always life-threatening. We've all had them. Much of the story was hearsay- it was not her boy that was grabbed and left marked. This teacher has a different take, I'm sure.

My advice to instruct the boy to stay clear (and be quiet) and to learn from negative situations will serve him in the future regardless of what other action is taken.

I wonder why no other parents are so upset. If it's true that this boy is being singled out for whatever sadistic reason, by all means, get him moved to another class. But I would be careful not to start a riot before really getting the whole story.