Bathing kids together

↑ justanothermother ↓

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 5:47 pm

Re: fathers and sons going to the mikvah together

Quote:

The Gemara in Masechet Pesachim (51) mentions the prohibition against going to the bathhouse with one's father, father-in-law, stepfather or brother-in-law (sister's husband). The reason for this prohibition is that seeing these relatives unclothed might lead to improper thoughts, as they are associated with a person's roots and close family. The Gemara also mentions that one should not go to the bathhouse with his Rabbi, as this would be disrespectful. Some communities, as the Gemara discusses, had the practice of forbidding going to the bathhouse with one's brother, as well, but the Gemara mentions that strictly speaking this is permissible. Only communities that have adopted such a practice must abide by this stringency.

ruthanne

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 7:44 pm

justanothermother wrote:

Re: fathers and sons going to the mikvah together

Quote:

Which father's (who regularly go to mikvah) DON'T take their son's to mikveh????!!!!

This doens't sound like something that applies nowadays.

Please correct me if Im wrong...

TwinsMommy

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 10:01 pm

my husband gets into the bath with each of our children (one at a time). He's naked--- they're not even one yet.... we don't think it's a big deal. They prefer to be in Abba's arms than in the bath seat, and they can't handle sitting up by themselves in the water without something holding them quite yet---- so Abba instead of a bathseat works out just fine. We won't continue it for a ridiculous amount of time, but for now, it seems harmless enough---- I don't even think they notice he's naked.

They're a boy and a girl and I haven't bathed them together yet just because I (or Abba) bathes one at a time -- that's just what we've done. But I wouldn't be opposed to it--- I change his diaper in front of her and vice versa and they're certainly too young to notice or care at this point. But I can see how in 6 months or so if I were bathing them together and she reached for his equipment I'd have to stop that.

rachel19977

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 2:54 am

DD is 18 months old and DS is 3. I read it's not good (in jewish parenting book) to bathe them together. So I didn't. But sometimes there isn't a choice, like in the morning if 2 pooped/threw up/peed in bed at the same time all over, and there's no time with DH at Shul, I put loads of bubbles inside and wash them. I leave DS in there to play and run to put diaper on DD then get DS. Before when there were accidents in bed or whatnot, like after dinner mess, and sometimes in there together, DD tried pulling DS brit milla, so I try very hard not to put them in together, and when I must, it's bubble time. DD goes to bed before DS so I bath them with door closed cuz they notice the difference, DS goes, Why doens't DD have a brit mila?!

Mimisinger ↓

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 9:51 am

nicole81 wrote:

amother wrote:

nicole81 wrote:

I bathe my girls together and they're still little, but I can see this going on until they're at least 5 or older. I guess when htey get too big to both be in the tub comfortable it will stop.

I don't have a boy and a girl, but I'd probably stop as soon as they started to notice differences.

like I'll tell you this, and why I'm not posting as amother I have no clue, but anyhow, my husband showers my daughters. it's the easiest thing before work, just to throw them in there with him. about 2 weeks ago my 2 and a half year old pointed to dh's p*nis and said "look, it's daddy's tail!" she did it the next time too, and that was it. no more showers! so I think at this age would also be appropriate to stop bathing with a brother as well.

please don't take what I am saying as an attack, I am just expressing my thoughts on your little story.
well, why would your DH bath with your DD without any underware on your DH. my husband did bath our DD on occassion, like when I was on bedrest, however he keeps his underware and undershirt on at all times. it would not be exceptable in my family to show off private parts of parents to kids no matter what age they are. my DD is same age as yours.

well because I work until 2 or 3am and sleep only a couple of hours a night so the easiest thing for me to do was pass off the kids into the shower while dh was showering in the morning. it may not make sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me.

he wasn't giving a bath naked, that's just freaky. but I think it's perfectly harmless to open the shower door and pass a child in for a quick wash off and a shampoo .

Clearly you don't think it's perfectly harmless, otherwise you wouldn't have stopped.

As for everyone else, what about you washing ds? Until what age?

↑ nicole81 ↓

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 10:08 am

Mimisinger wrote:

nicole81 wrote:

amother wrote:

nicole81 wrote:

Clearly you don't think it's perfectly harmless, otherwise you wouldn't have stopped.

your logic doesn't make sense. something can be completely harmless, but due to circumstances, there comes a time to stop. we only stopped this because she started noticing the differences, which in and of itself is not a big deal. however if we were to continue at this point, she would just pay more attention to the differences, which isn't what we want here. and seeing as we stopped as soon as she started noticing, I'm sure she'll forget about it in time, if she hasn't already.

and clearly I *do* think it's perfectly harmless, otherwise he wouldn't still be showering my 18 month old.

↑ nicole81

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 10:58 am

what's the inherent harm? yes, she sees that mommies are different than daddies, and boys are different than girls. big deal, it's all obvious anyway. but now that she is aware of this specific difference, there is no need to show it to her repeatedly and pique her curiousity anymore just yet.

there are posters here who mentioned bathing 2 and 3 year old boy/girl siblings together, and even older. I don't see why you're specifically picking me out to argue with. is it because it's the father? in your eyes, does that pose more of a threat?

and I didn't even address this before. you said:

Quote:

As for everyone else, what about you washing ds? Until what age?

directly after a response to me. I understand we disagree, but the way you put this is basically announcing to the entire board that my opinion is invalid and unneccessary, as specifically exclude me from answering your question. pretty disgusting, if you ask me.

raizy ↓

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 10:28 pm

you can go to the mikveh with your son just not go into the actual mikveh with your son at the same moment. and I think that it only aplies once the kid is 13 yrs. bc most fathers have to teach the boys how to dunk etc.

and I bath all my boys togther . all 4 of them . lately the oldest showers alone. there is no place for him in the bathtub.

as for my one and only dd. if she goes in with the boys then they all keep their underwear on. then there is no private parts showing.

↑ Mimisinger

Wed, Jan 09 2008, 10:48 pm

nicole81 wrote:

Quote:

As for everyone else, what about you washing ds? Until what age?

I'm sorry if you find me disgusting, that was not my intention, and I don't think the term "disgusting" was warranted Rolling Eyes

. However, I was trying to ask everyone about what they do with ds, and not just who, as you were the one person I was talking to previously. You can answer my question or not.

And yes, I do find there to be a HUGE difference between bathing ds' and dds together and dd and dh. But again, that's just me.