Inducing (identical) twins

Israeli_C ↓

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 8:33 am

My high risk doctor and the hospital I want to give birth in recommends inducing identical twins at 36 weeks. I am planning to induce at 36 weeks and 4 days and TBH am greatly looking forward to it (at that stage they'll probably be close to 3kg each).

Today I got a phonecall from a 'helpful' mom of twins who I met once and is the wife of my husband's friend. She made it very clear that she thinks I'm making a mistake, and rattled on about how she carried her non-identical twins for 40 weeks etc etc. Obviously, I'm in Israel, so unsolicited advice is the norm here. But it's really bothering me. I'm an adult. This is what medical professionals are recommending to me. Let me be!! Not sure if I'm looking for (more!) advice or just to vent, but for some reason this really p*ssed me off.

She even went down the halachic road of "did you ask your Rabbi whether you're allowed to have an induction??" and I said yes, I did, and he agreed. Then she asked if I'd asked the Rebbe (!) if it was ok to have an induction.... long story short, my husband became a chabadnik after we got married and it's been a source of friction, especially when I have to deal with his messhichist friends, so I simply told her that no, I didn't ask the Rebbe and didn't intend to. In the end I cut the conversation because she was really irritating me and I didn't want to snap at her because I'm sure she means well.

Rant over :/

amother

White

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 8:41 am

Doesn't make a diff if identical or fraternal... But I delivered my twins at 36 weeks n 5 days.. That's considered ok.. And besides general docs dont let u go past 38 weeks. The only type of twins that doc induce super early is mono mono twins. Both babies in the same sac.

Loads of luck.
Have an ez and smooth delivery.
And welcome to the club.
It's an amazing journey.
Colors

amother

Green

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 8:55 am

Tell these friends to mind their own business. Last time I got advice from bunch of “I wish you well...trust me ....I did it with good result friends” I lost my most perfect beautiful child. Go with doctors advice. Facebook is filled with baby losses due to uterine constrictions or placenta failures. God forbid. Just get them out by 37-38 weeks. You will be fine. Someone I know gave birth 36 weeks. Baby was in incubator one week and is fine healthy. Good luck

amother

Orchid

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 8:56 am

Israeli_C wrote:

This is wrong on so many levels. Intruding into someone's else's personal life and personal choices; encouraging someone to go against medical advice; the thinking that there is only one right way to go about something, - and more.

↑ Israeli_C ↓

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 9:04 am

amother wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss Sad

I was only thinking about such cases this morning, my heart breaks in cases like these where women have carried for so long, it must be devastating...

Re those asking about identical vs fraternal, my doctor said that fraternal twins are usually given a little more time because since identical twins are sharing a placenta it gets 'worn down' quicker and can work less efficiently towards the end

Raisin

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 9:52 am

I think when asked medical advice, the Rebbe would tell people to ask a trusted dr, or sometimes to get a second or third opinion in difficult cases. But yours sounds fairly standard uncontroversial practice. So stick to asking a trusted dr. I assume you trust your dr. I think in general chabad people are quite against inductions but I don't think that applies when there is a medical need so your friend is getting confused.

I hope it all goes well and both you and the babies are healthy.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 9:53 am

Some identical twins share a placenta, some don't. Depends on when the egg split. I'm guessing OP's twins do share one because otherwise she wouldn't know they were identical unless she did a genetic test. Twins who share a placenta are always identical. Twins with separate placentas can be identical or fraternal.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 10:03 am

Raisin wrote:

I was 10 days overdue, felt fine, the Dr decided to induce bc he was afraid amniotic levels were getting low. We asked our (very strict) chabad Rav who was a little reluctant but basically said do whatever the Dr says. I went through induction, pitocin, epidural, oxygen, the works when in hindsight (it was my first) I probably would have delivered naturally in another day. Another halachic biggie was not breaking waters if at all possible, but then the Dr did, so oh well. The reason against induction is not to mess with mazal but a healthy baby trumps every time. I can't speak for the rebbe obviously but he usually advised to follow doctors and ask your own Rav.

amother

↑ Natural

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 10:04 am

amother wrote:

What does this have to do with inducing ..

↑ Israeli_C ↓

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 10:24 am

rivkam wrote:

May you have a smooth birth experience. Welcome to Israel, everyone loved to give their opinions especially about kids, pregnancy and birth.

I try and change the topic or just say very little so as to not give them bait. It's not worth engaging in these types of conversations.

So true... I didn't realise the full extent of Israeli intrusiveness until I had kids. I know it comes from a good place, and is much better than the apathy elsewhere yadda yadda, but to this day is drives me insane. Good advice on not feeding it - I try to do this with my mother in law (who has recently taken a fancy to redecorating my apartment on my behalf...) but it's not easy

↑ Israeli_C ↓

Tue, Dec 04 2018, 11:39 am

turca wrote:

You could be as israeli as her and tell her to mind her own business.

It was very tempting!! Israelis have their own definition of what's rude which I'm still struggling to understand what fits into that category and what doesn't (apart from the fact that if I say it, it's rude, if they say something, it's perfectly acceptable...)

Fox wrote:

My identical tenants were induced to vacate the premises at 35 weeks. They spent a week in the hospital to make sure they were eating adequately. Married them off at 268 months and 273 months.

Good to know that 5 weeks less in the human incubator doesn't affect shidduchim!

zaq ↓

Tue, Dec 11 2018, 11:32 am

I misread the title as "introducing identical twins" and wondered what would be different about introducing twins as opposed to singletons.Gotta get my eyes checked.

You are the mom-to-be. Your medical decisions are your own.
So are your halachic decisions.
Meddlers, nosey-parkers, yentas and know-it-alls exist everywhere.
G-d put them on this good earth to...umm...build our character? Develop our patience? Test our patience? Punish us for our venial sins?
Get yourself a pair of imaginary earplugs and put them in when you come across individuals like the one you describe.
You may also wish to develop a more assertive way of dealing with your so-called friend, which is to cut her off at the pass. When she asks questions that are none of her business. look her straight in the eye, and say firmly "That topic is confidential and not open to discussion." Repeat until she gives up or your bus comes, whichever is first.

B'shaah tovah! Enjoy your twinsicles when they arrive.

↑ zaq ↓

Tue, Dec 11 2018, 11:39 am

amother wrote:

What does this have to do with inducing ..

Nothing. But a pp claimed that identicals must be induced because they share a placenta. In fact most do not share a placenta, and even if they did, early delivery would be necessary only if the placenta were incapable of supplying sufficient oxygen and nutrition to both.

The poster to whom you replied was simply correcting misinformation. Although Imamother posters are not renowned for medical/scientific (or any other type) accuracy, some people unfortunately rely on this forum to answer questions they can't ask elsewhere. Therefore, if one sees a glaring mistake, one should correct it.

↑ zaq

Tue, Dec 11 2018, 11:42 am

amother wrote:

And sometimes twin placentas grow so close side-by-side that they appear to be one but are really two.