when rov says ok, can you break your fast?

amother ↓

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:21 pm

when rov says it's ok, can you bring yourself to break the fast - or is it difficult? at what point should we listen?

Marion

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:29 pm

If you're at the point where you felt it necessary to ask...IMO you're at the point (or past it) when you should be eating. The Rav wouldn't have said yes if he thought it should be no!

HindaRochel ↓

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:32 pm

If the Rov said break the fast it is a MITZVAH to break the fast and any guilt should be on continuing the fast.

Think of it this way; your Rav pasken for you. If you continue the fast you are both endangering your health (or the health of your unborn child if this is a case of pregnancy) adn you are stating your Rav doesn't know what he is talking about.

So eat.

gryp ↓

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:33 pm

I tried fasting a few years ago when I didnt have to and although I ended up regretting it, each bite was practically torture because of the guilt.

↑ HindaRochel

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:40 pm

I know it is hard GR...but every bite you take tell yourself "this is a mitzvah, this is a mitzvah." It isn't always easy to do a mitzvah,and while some people might think it is easy to eat on a fast day, for most of us it wouldn't be. So you have to force yourself to eat and you must force yourself to recognize it is a mitzvah, because you are obey Hashem...

Ruchel

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:44 pm

I have a heter, I didn't even try to fast and didn't feel guilty one bit (lol) about eating. My baby and generally am Israel needs me healthy. If a rav tells you to break the fast, it means it is Hashem's will, why feel guilty?

I once refused to take pain killers during YK because I wouldn't believe I could have a bit of water to swallow them. Later I asked a rav who implied it was NUTS.

↑ gryp

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:46 pm

not today

, a few years ago when I was still within 30 days of giving birth. since then, I don't have a problem with guilt- if I have to eat, I eat.
thanks, though. Smile

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:49 pm

yes one day I will have no choice - and each year it gets harder and harder so in advance I asked - the details are a few

it's eating in tiny amounts at certain intervals to keep blood sugar levels ok

how do I know at which point I cannot and yes the guilt is hard to deal with the thought alone of breaking the fast makes me ill

Dini

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 12:54 pm

If I ask and I am allowed to eat why feel guilty. this pas t YK I ate small amounts every 12 min about b/c I had a baby a few days before. why feel guilty thats what you are meant to do at this stage in your life. Do you feel guilty that you can't daven as much as when you didn't have children? Things are different now.

mimivan

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 1:41 pm

two years ago, I could not fast tisha b'av because I had pneumonia and was on antibiotics which required food. I just didnt feel guilty, but kind of kept myself scarce so my husband would not have to see me walking around with more energy.

Yes, I felt weird not fasting, but not guilty...that is what are rabbonim are for, and every psak is hasgocha protis!

Once, when I was really holding off from not drinking teaspoons of water (this was within a month of giving birth) after a rav told me to do this if needed, I was really scared because I was feeling strange, but I read just then that, according to Chayei Adam, if someone does not break a fast if he feels really sick it is as big as an avera as a healthy person not fasting on Y.K.

So I drank the spoons of water and felt much better! Wink

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 1:45 pm

don't feel guilt.
If rov said it's okay, you can break it. You don't have to wait untl you faint!!!!!!!!!!!
My husband broke his fast. The rov said he didn't have to fast because it makes his depression worse. I felt weird, but I read in The Book of Our Heritage and sick people do not fast Tisha B'AV.

louche

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 3:16 pm

amother wrote:

when rov says it's ok, can you bring yourself to break the fast - or is it difficult? at what point should we listen?

you're asking for health reasons, right? If he says it's ok, it's ok but if you don't trust his psak then you shouldn't be asking him but someone else.

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 4:54 pm

I am pregnant and nursing. I got a heter not to fast. The reason I asked is because I usually feel really sick if I don't eat. It happens that for some reason today I am not feeling that sick, so I have decided to fast as long as I am OK. I had also asked my midwife, who told me it was not dangerous for the baby to fast, so I am not worried and don't feel like I must eat. I feel like the heter is there if I need it, but if I don't need it, I should not just eat for the sake of the heter.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Tue, Jul 24 2007, 6:52 pm

well, I guess then it depends WHY you asked the heter.
If you have a true medical concern, why aren't you eating??

Seraph

Wed, Jul 25 2007, 1:09 am

I got a heter not to fast... Drank water, but didnt touch any food until I threw up from extreme nausea... Only then did my guilt go away.

southernbubby

Wed, Jul 25 2007, 10:09 am

One of my kids was born on the 8th of Tishrei and the next one was the 8th of Av. Giving birth a mere 3 hrs before Tisha B'Av (20 yrs ago), I not only ate like a horse but I took a shower!
When I gave birth 2 days before YK, I drank liquid according to the shiur halacha. I guess it did feel strange and I had heard of women who fasted but the S.A. says that from 7th of Tishrei a woman can break the fast in that way.