But I guess I was mainly feeling very guilty that I did not want to put ourselves in poverty. Thought that I SHOULD. That it was the Chevy correct torah way. Now I feel that my negative feelings about doing that have been validated. Thanks ladies! Would still like to discuss with a Rav if sometime could suggest one.
Time to work on being sameach bchelko. Shana tova to all.
Please do not feel guilty for not wanting to be impoverished for the sake of Torah. It might sound noble and idealistic in the abstract, but the reality is very different. It would not be fair to put your kids through that. I can't believe that G-d would prefer a child to be hungry and cold to afford Jewish school.