Does sitter have emotional issues?

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punchike ↓

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 6:54 pm

So I'm meeting potential babysitters. They aren't Jewish, (I don't live in a Jewish town) so I cant call people I know to find out about her.
I plan to have her spend time with the kids, while I'm home or in and out, so I can get a feel for her style & see if I'm comfortable with her. But, how would I know if she has any emotional issues: depression, anxiety, or a mood disorder... I know I sound paranoid, but some of these borderline things are hard to see right away. And I'm alittle nervous cuz I'm basicaly interviewing people off a sitter website.

What would you do?

MaBelleVie ↓

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:02 pm

First of all, you definitely get a sense of general personality type after spending a few hours together. Also, you MUST call references- families she has previously worked for. Aim for at least 2, preferably more. Ask lots of open ended questions (you can find ideas via Google) and you should be able to build a picture. Finally, if things start to seem off, trust your instinct. You don't need a "major" reason to let someone go- not being fully comfortable with her is reason enough. It's stressful- good luck!

ElTam

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:23 pm

No matter what you do, get a nanny cam and do not tell your sitter about it. That is my .02.

↑ punchike ↓

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:23 pm

Thank you MaBelleVie.

Would it be wierd to ask for a doc letter saying that she is in good health -to care for children? or something like that...
I think that that is commonly done in proffesional settings, like in a licensed day care.
What do you think of that?

↑ punchike ↓

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:24 pm

I like the nanny cam idea. Thank you.

markmywords

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:26 pm

I find it strange that you would be concerned primarily about that.
If your concern is that their depression or anxiety will be so subtle that you could miss noticing it, my guess is that they know how to keep it in check without it interfering.
That being said, I agree with the advice to check multiple references.
When I had a babysitter watching my eldest, she was not from a frum background. I explained kashrus to her and where the local kosher pizza store is. Unfortunately, she was a little "loopy" and couldn't follow directions. She brought him the the local treife pizza store. Boy, was I livid. I guess the pepperoni pizza that I'm guessing was on the menu didn't throw her.
She was, likewise, incapable of managing my son as she was the job. She used to implore him to listen, rather than direct him in an authoritarian voice. I had my hands full after her.

↑ MaBelleVie

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:28 pm

I don't think a doctors note would really mean much in terms of mental health. You can definitely ask for immunization records if that's a concern for you.

seeker

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 9:20 pm

markmywords wrote:

It might be un-PC to say this but I think OP's concerns are valid. As someone who has struggled with a subtle form of depression myself, I realize how delicate mental health issues can be. Someone who has a tendency to what you're calling subtle mood problems is surely more likely than a stable person to have some sort of episode while on a job. If it were in a daycare center or something where someone else could cover for them in a pinch, then maybe it would be unfair to discriminate on that slight chance. But if you're leaving someone solely responsible for your kids while you're really not around, I think it's valid to want a stable history (because no one can guarantee the future, so a stable history is about as good as you can get)

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Jan 22 2013, 9:28 pm

punchike wrote:

I like the nanny cam idea. Thank you.

It might be an idea to get two. She might find one. And be careful to change the factory-installed password.

↑ punchike

Wed, Jan 23 2013, 7:29 pm

Thanks for all your advice!

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