Share your emotional cry worthy story!

Eastern

Today at 1:24 am

Oh, do I have a story! BH.

I was living with my very abusive mother, feeling trapped because she was very needy and I felt obligated to care for her. She was also very manipulative, controlling, jealous, temperamental, and honestly often just mean, so she managed to sabotage every part of my life, and I felt very stuck. Dating was going very badly because she kept sabotaging. Friendships only worked as long as I could put off inviting them over. Jobs only worked until she happened to find out where I worked…you get the picture! (Just to clarify, today I 1000% see that I should’ve distanced from her a lot sooner, but back then I was brainwashed and felt obligated to let her do whatever she wanted!). I felt so incredibly desperate, hopeless, depressed. Rosh Hashanah morning was particularly rough. She’d been meaner than usual. She was resentful of me trying to go to shul. She wanted to unload to me about her s*xual problems. She needed to “vent” to me about her other children. Etc etc etc. Then proceeded to scream at me and berate me for all manner of things. By the time I finally made it to shul, I was feeling like I just could not go on any longer. I picked up a machzor, crept to the back of the women’s section because I knew I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore, and tried to daven. Within a few minutes, I couldn’t even see the pages anymore through my tears. They were just flowing uncontrollably! So, I switched to my own words and I poured my heart out. I cried, I begged, I pleaded with Hashem to just end it already! That if this was to be my life, please just be merciful by making me die soon! And if this wasn’t to be my life, please show me a way out soon! I can’t take this anymore, and You know it!!!! Oh, how I cried. Please deliver me from this awful miserable life, and soon. Please, please, please! Please let me move on, find a husband, make my own life! Please send me a man who is honorable and kind, G-d fearing and sweet, compassionate and loving, who will love me, accept me, and be my companion so I would have the strength to leave, and not feel that I’d be completely alone in the world if I did so! Suddenly, I felt this overwhelming, indescribable, intense level of calm and sense of wellbeing wash over me like a tidal wave. I can’t explain it, but in that moment, I knew my desperate prayer had been heard, and answered. I knew I would survive, and come out ok. It was the first day of Rosh Hashanah. Motze Shabbat shuva, I began texting with my now husband. Erev Yom Kippur, he told me he’d be davening for me the whole Yom Kippur, with extra kavanah, and that he’d daven during ne’ilah that he should merit to become my husband. Motze Yom Kippur, he told me he’d done so, and now he was praying that Hashem would answer THAT prayer! My broken heart melted, and started to feel just a tiny bit whole. Erev Sukkot, we had our first Skype date. Chol hamoed Sukkot, he planned a trip to come meet me in person. Chanukah, we were married. BH, he is indeed so loving, kind, compassionate, everything else I asked for, and more than I’d ever dared hope for! He rescued me in so many ways, and helped me become the strong and healthy person I am today. BH, I was able to help him too, and we take care of each other. We are each the part of the other that used to be broken. And I will always know that Hashem is listening to even just me!!!! Baruch Hashem!!!!🥹