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amother
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 Yesterday at 12:41 am
Have you read it?
It's about a girl who found out she had cancer two weeks before her wedding. I happen to know the protagonists, and they are incredible people. They wanted to publicize their story in order to give chizzuk to people.
I loved what the editor wrote in the beginning when ahe referenced the story- that even when we go through so much, when the journey is so torturous, there are also so many nissim.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:45 am
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How does your subject line connect with your post?
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:46 am
The subject line is the name of the article/story.
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amother
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Yesterday at 1:03 am
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I signed up for free internet access on mishpacha.com and will read
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chestnut
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Yesterday at 1:05 am
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What happened after they found out the diagnosis?
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amother
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Yesterday at 1:12 am
Wow! What an amazing story of emunah and devotion.
Well written, fast paced
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amother
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Yesterday at 1:17 am
| amother OP wrote: | | The subject line is the name of the article/story. |
Ok, but how is this a shidduch crisis? Its extremely sad, but how is it a shidduch crisis?
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amother
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Yesterday at 1:21 am
| amother Midnight wrote: | | Ok, but how is this a shidduch crisis? Its extremely sad, but how is it a shidduch crisis? |
You need to read the story to understand. There's a lot more than just the part where she finds out she has cancer.
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amother
Hyssop
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Yesterday at 1:31 am
Incredible!
I just googled our shidduch crisis and found the article.
Mamash unreal
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crystal
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Yesterday at 1:37 am
| amother OP wrote: | | You need to read the story to understand. There's a lot more than just the part where she finds out she has cancer. |
I read the story on shabbos. Great story but I actually don't see the relation to shidduch crisis. I think the title is so named as a play on words.. our shidduch crisis, as in their personal crisis during their engagement, nothing to do with the community shidduch crisis....
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amother
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Yesterday at 2:08 am
| crystal wrote: | | I read the story on shabbos. Great story but I actually don't see the relation to shidduch crisis. I think the title is so named as a play on words.. our shidduch crisis, as in their personal crisis during their engagement, nothing to do with the community shidduch crisis.... |
It was their personal crisis, but not just during their engagement. There was also the crisis of being kept apart from each other for a year when they both wanted the shidduch but were unable to continue dating.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:23 pm
| chestnut wrote: | | What happened after they found out the diagnosis? |
The couple married anyway. She started chemo right after sheva brachos...
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:33 pm
I was very touched by the story.
My little sister had cancer after the birth of her first baby (she actually had tons of symptoms during the pg, which of course we all thought were pg symptoms.) She went thru chemo and BH made a full recovery. She has had 3 beautiful (cutest kids on the planet!) healthy children since then BH (with no medical intervention).
I think it's important for people to know that many women go on to have healthy children after chemo. I've heard of other young people who are cancer survivors, and people are afraid to consider them for a shidduch, afraid they won't be able to have children.
I think people should know that treatments today are very advanced and many young women have no IF issues post-cancer.
This was my takeaway reading the story. I actually thought some of the dramatizing of the having children angle was a little overdone. Yes it's a miracle and wonderful but people should know that many go on to a normal life. The drama does not do cancer survivors a favor.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:47 pm
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As a family who has dealt with cancer, I loved the story. As a family with kids in shidduchim, I was flabbergasted by the couple meeting with zero research and then doing the research afterwards, including finding out about what was so importantto them, that he can come date her locally. But maybe that's how it works in their circles.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:47 pm
| amother Hawthorn wrote: | I was very touched by the story.
My little sister had cancer after the birth of her first baby (she actually had tons of symptoms during the pg, which of course we all thought were pg symptoms.) She went thru chemo and BH made a full recovery. She has had 3 beautiful (cutest kids on the planet!) healthy children since then BH (with no medical intervention).
I think it's important for people to know that many women go on to have healthy children after chemo. I've heard of other young people who are cancer survivors, and people are afraid to consider them for a shidduch, afraid they won't be able to have children.
I think people should know that treatments today are very advanced and many young women have no IF issues post-cancer.
This was my takeaway reading the story. I actually thought some of the dramatizing of the having children angle was a little overdone. Yes it's a miracle and wonderful but people should know that many go on to a normal life. The drama does not do cancer survivors a favor. |
I appreciate what your saying, but since I know the people involved in the story, I can tell you that it was not "dramatization". Every situation is different, and in that particular case, they were told that she would most likely not be able to conceive naturally.
They attribute their being able to have children to the brachos of the gedolim.
I know of another young woman who is undergoing chemo right now. The doctors are also telling her that she won't be able to have any more kids. (She has two now.)
I don't think the doctors are just trying to scare her. It's a case by case basis.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:50 pm
| amother Starflower wrote: | | As a family who has dealt with cancer, I loved the story. As a family with kids in shidduchim, I was flabbergasted by the couple meeting with zero research and then doing the research afterwards, including finding out about what was so importantto them, that he can come date her locally. But maybe that's how it works in their circles. |
It sounds like it was a miscommunication.
They agreed to let her date him once since she was in town then, and she had a flight back the next day. If it would not have been interesting, there would be no reason for the boy to fly to Mexico.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:52 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I appreciate what your saying, but since I know the people involved in the story, I can tell you that it was not "dramatization". Every situation is different, and in that particular case, they were told that she would most likely not be able to conceive naturally.
They attribute their being able to have children to the brachos of the gedolim.
I know of another young woman who is undergoing chemo right now. The doctors are also telling her that she won't be able to have any more kids. (She has two now.)
I don't think the doctors are just trying to scare her. It's a case by case basis. |
In my sister's case they said it was a chance she wouldn't, there wasn't really a way to know 100%...... I think alot of people assume it will be an issue, and in many cases it's not, so I think it's important to know that. I remember the question came up when she was first diagnosed, about whether she should preserve her eggs, and she didn't because it was already so late in the game (because of the pg she had ignored symptoms for a while) and her Rav said it was more important to start chemo right away and save her life.
I do think the story will also give alot of people in that position hope.
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amother
Topaz
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Yesterday at 12:55 pm
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Thank you, OP! What an amazing article - and amazing couple!
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:55 pm
| amother OP wrote: | It sounds like it was a miscommunication.
They agreed to let her date him once since she was in town then, and she had a flight back the next day. If it would not have been interesting, there would be no reason for the boy to fly to Mexico. |
I hear you. I just would have asked, "If it seems shayach after the first date, will he travel to Mexico to continue?" This felt almost like when people meet and check Dor Yesharim after. But I'm glad it worked out to well for them. It wasn't specifically mentioned in the story, but I would consider it a gam zu l'tovah to have the treatment happen in the US vs Mexico in general.
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amother
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Yesterday at 12:59 pm
| amother Starflower wrote: | | I hear you. I just would have asked, "If it seems shayach after the first date, will he travel to Mexico to continue?" This felt almost like when people meet and check Dor Yesharim after. But I'm glad it worked out to well for them. It wasn't specifically mentioned in the story, but I would consider it a gam zu l'tovah to have the treatment happen in the US vs Mexico in general. |
Right, that was the part that was a miscommunication. It sounds like the father made that condition before the first date, and the rabbi/shadchan agreed on the boys behalf without realizing that he wouldn't be able to travel.
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