Costs of bris/pidyon haben

cassandra

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 7:34 pm

I think the idea behind the shidduch/kiddush connection (which is based on the above story) is that at a kiddush or bris the child is given the bracha of torah, chuppah, and maasim tovim, and if you don't have that you may be missing the bracha.

If only things were so easy...

↑ klotzkashe

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 8:09 pm

amother wrote:

Yikes. You are all scaring me. Those prices are outrageous. We are IYH having a baby soon and we know it's a boy and we will have a bris and it's our first and DH and my family are not kohanim/leviim so that means pidyon haben too. Our parents have no money and we're just newlyweds and paying for the whole thing (EVERYTHING) ourselves. There is NO WAY we can spend $1000 on just food at our bris. HA! I guess we'll have to be the embarassment of the city because we will use our shul (free) and have bagels and maybe some coffee. I already know that people will think we're just being cheap but I don't hear them coming forward to offer to pay for anything... Oy, ok, I will not let this thread get me stressed out!

Amother DO NOT STRESS!!!

First of all, I have been to plenty of Brissen where bagels, coffeee juice nad cake were provided and they were still beautiful simchas.
if you think that this is the embarassment of the town - then you're living in the wrong town! (or friends with the wrong pple!)

Your baby's bris is such a holy and special time - surely the amount of money you spent on the food isn't going to mar this special simcha?!

Make it cheap - start the trend...maybe other pple will avoid major credit card debt and make sensible simchas in the future.

qeenB

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 8:50 pm

I found that alot depends on the amount of people you think will be coming. if its under 50 or 60 people than it can be considerably cheaper to just organize a simple bagel lox tuna eggsalad etc briss. if you are having alot of people the getting it catered may only end up being a few hundred dollars more than if you do it yourself and preparing for a very large crowd is alot of work. you also need someone who will be responsible to get the food to the shul and set the tables etc, and clean up. the sholom zachor does not have to be a fancy afair as long as there is enough beer the men are happy! the pidyon haben is usualy by invitation so if you only want a small crowd that is what you invite. insteade of bagels do bilkalach and inexpensive cold cuts if you want fleishig. if you live in the ny area amazing savings has realy nice paper goods that are realy cheap but look really nice. I found in my situation I was expecting at the most 50 people so we organized the whole thing ourselves. it was alittle stressful however so I wanted to cater my last briss but my brother and new sister in law told me they would take care of it for me and they did a marvelous job and I had no stress to worry about with a newborn and two other little darling boys!

↑ Mommy3.5

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 8:55 pm

Quote:

Do you have to pay the cohen?

we did, but I'm not sure how much.

Quote:

This sounds similar to a sheva brachos. And if it's in a house then there would be around 20-30 ppl. Does this sound right?

sounds perfect![/quote]

↑ shoy18 ↓

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 9:03 pm

I dont think anyone needs to spend alot on a bris, it all boils down to presentation, you can serve next to nothing but present it nicely and elgently no one will notice.

The pidyon is invitation only and its a seuda so you can make it as lavish or as plain as you like. My sons pidyon was beautiful, it was right after tzom gedaliah so everyone was famished!!

Twizzlers

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 9:05 pm

also keep in mind, that having a pidyon at this time of year when shkia is so early, and the minhag is to wash before shkia, most people (besides relatives) can not leave work early and will say they will stop in later (which means u dont pay for a meal for them)

↑ amother ↓

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 9:26 pm

[quote="Mommy3.5"]

Quote:

Do you have to pay the cohen?

Quote:

we did, but I'm not sure how much.

I just wanted to ask this question again in case anyone else knows how much you should pay the cohen.

Someone also mentioned buying the coins. How much do those cost? And where do you get a tray to put the baby on?

Thank you for helping me.

↑ shoy18

Mon, Dec 04 2006, 9:38 pm

I didnt pay the cohen but let him keep the silver coins. My FIL had them from his father, so Im not sure where you get them.
We used my silver tray from my leichter. I am almost certain their is a gemach for them

↑ mimsy7420 ↓

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 9:57 am

Mommy3.5 wrote:

Quote:

Do you have to pay the cohen?

we did, but I'm not sure how much.

Quote:

This sounds similar to a sheva brachos. And if it's in a house then there would be around 20-30 ppl. Does this sound right?

sounds perfect!

[/quote]

The Cohen gets to keep the special coin that you have to get for the pidyon. It's probably worth all of 2 dollars. I'll find out exactly how much it is worth. My cousin was the Cohen at my brother's baby's pidyon recently and he was joking that this was how he makes his living. Cuz it does look like a fancy coin but it's not worth much.

↑ gryp ↓

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 10:07 am

cindy

, you know, it's never too late to make a kiddush. even years later, it still counts. a kiddush is not something that has to be done immediately.

Quote:

GR, how would you do it?

I don't know if you live in CH or not, but we had Rabbi Shain both times and were lucky to be able to use his shul too. he doesnt charge a fee for the shul, only for the cleanup charge for the janitors. he himself doesnt charge a set fee.
the caterers we used have this thing that either you can just buy the platters from them and set the rest up ourselves, or they would set the whole thing up for more.
we had a beautiful sit down meal, but waiters in Shain's shul are completely unnecessary LOL

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 10:24 am

I've made platters with fish from costco, it's a fraction of the cost.

If you live in Crown Heights this may be an option:

In crown heights you can call the bikur cholim, I'm pretty sure they take care of brissim. For the sholom zochor, friends usually send cakes and cookies and it has never cost me more than $100. Rabbi Zalmen Gurary used to pay $1000. for a bris that he was sandek by, I think one of his grandchildren pay about $500 fo rit now.
I never made a pidyon haben, but I did help my sister for hers by cooking and it cost her a fraction of the cost.

↑ mimsy7420 ↓

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 10:27 am

I think it really depends on how many people you invite. If you want to invite your whole shul then yes, the bris or pidyon will be expensive. If you want to have a nice small intimate bris in your house with just some bagels and cake - then it could be very lovely, but just know that you can only invite a few select friends and family. But it will be cheaper. So that's the toss up.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 11:18 am

Bikur Cholim is for the needy! They just give gefilte fish and soda and a very very sparse seudah.

They do get volunteers to help set up and clean up..

Oh, and Rabi Shain? If you hve a boy, call him right from the hospita! He gets bookoed up FAAST!

↑ amother

Tue, Dec 05 2006, 12:30 pm

Here's a way to be mehudar the mitzvah of bris milah and also cut costs drastically:

Have an EARLY bris!!!

Because the mitzvah of bris is for the 8th day, many try to do the mitzvah as early as possible-- by morning minyan, whereas others schedule in the afternoon so that more people can come.

I've been to brissin at 6AM, 8AM, and 4PM.

6AM is ideal for the mitzvah. Also, family and close friends will make an effort to wake up-- and it won't affect work schedules (whereas at 8AM many are late to work or leave the bris early). But lots of random people won't get outta bed and to your bris. A smaller affair will naturally be cheaper.

And also: what are people going to eat already at 6AM?!?! Yeah, you can serve bagels, lox, some salads-- it's seudas mitzvah after all. But you wouldn't be serving nearly the spread that would distinguish an afternoon 4PM event!