Ask a Shailah or Use Common Sense?

Crayon210 ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2006, 8:59 pm

Marion wrote:

For TH, we all use our common sense. If we have a stain we're not sure about, we ask a Rav. But what else do we do? KEEP COUNTING! Because it's common sense you want to get to the mikvah as soon as possible and if you stop counting you have to start all over, even if the Rav says it's OK.

What does this have to do with common sense? I only continue counting because that's what my rav told me to do, not because it makes sense. Confused

carrot

Tue, Oct 31 2006, 2:10 pm

Crayon210 wrote:

Marion wrote:

What does this have to do with common sense? I only continue counting because that's what my rav told me to do, not because it makes sense. Confused

Then Crayon, I must say that you are on a whole different level of "l'maala min hasechel" than I am.

"Torah lo bashamayim hi" does not only apply to the power vested in official Rabbonim but also in regular human beings including women.

↑ melalyse ↓

Tue, Oct 31 2006, 7:54 pm

My 1 year old doesn't like water. I can't really explain to him that he has to wait.
I don't know why I am even bothering to discuss this- my husband (my rav) told me that it is totally fine.

↑ chocolate moose ↓

Tue, Oct 31 2006, 8:17 pm

I said it b/c you ASKED.

"Doesn't like water"???????

That's not an answer in my house; we're not rich enough to guzzle milk or juice or soda.

We drink water. And we like it. Whether we "like it" or not.

↑ timeout

Tue, Oct 31 2006, 8:53 pm

Sara G doesn't a one year old have to drink milk alot more than water?

I never did this "wait one hour per year" thing. This one hour thing as you posted was paskened by melalyse's Rav as you read so you really have no right to say anything about that.

I'm only putting my two cents in since my FIL who is a Rav gave me the same Heter with my son to drink Milk one hour later.

As far as the money aspect WIC gives FREE MILK and Juice so you really don't have to be rich to give it to your child in this day and age.

↑ shabbatiscoming

Wed, Nov 01 2006, 3:46 am

I have not been reading the whole thread but I just want to mention, about the one hour as you grow thing, waiting btw milk and meat....we grew up that untill a certain age, like that the child understood at all what it actually meant, the kashrut thing, we were allowed to give milk while the child was eating meat. not a 4 year old, but a 2 year old? yes b/c they dont have a concept of why not.

↑ shalhevet ↓

Wed, Nov 01 2006, 4:02 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

we were allowed to give milk while the child was eating meat.

At the same time????? Rolling Eyes

Please everyone go ask your LORs. It sounds actually that a lot of people are being unnecesarily machmir with little children. (BTW if you add an hour a year, by bar mitzvah you're waiting 13 hours ... shock

)

Ruchel ↓

Wed, Nov 01 2006, 2:55 pm

mummyof6 wrote:

(BTW if you add an hour a year, by bar mitzvah you're waiting 13 hours ... shock

)

lol of course you stop when you reach 6, 4, 3 whatever depending on your minhag...

↑ melalyse

Thu, Nov 02 2006, 9:41 am

Firstly - I didn't say 1 hour I said right away.
secondly - we are speaking about a 1 year old. A 1 year old who is still partially nursing. I am trying to wean him onto milk. He has no clue about milk and meat and probably will not understand no matter how much I would try to teach him now.
I it my understanding that a one year old is sapposed to be drinkin milk. So even if it is expensive for my child sake I must give him milk.
If a mother is not nursing an infant, she has to spend money on formula, she couldn't just give him water because it is cheaper. And yes she would give him chicken and then formula.
I thought that this was mainstream thought. I didn't think that my husband was so our there with this psak.

↑ gryp

Thu, Nov 02 2006, 10:09 am

Quote:

we were allowed to give milk while the child was eating meat

shabbatiscoming, can you verify or clarify what you wrote?
do you really mean "At the same time"???

I dont understand why you cant give a 1 year old water or juice instead of milk. he has to drink milk every single time he drinks? I dont get it.

when I was 17, I actually was babysitting for a 2 year old in a not-frum Israeli family. she was eating meatballs for supper and asked for chocolate milk. I tried everything to distract her, I offered anything and everything else that I had to give her, but she just cried and cried that she wanted chocolate milk. so I called the Rav and asked him if im allowed to give it to her and he said "No." after more crying and trying different things, in the end I had to give in to her. embarrassed

↑ shalhevet

Thu, Nov 02 2006, 10:22 am

Has anyone had a RAV tell them that they have to wait ONE HOUR for a ONE YEAR old?? People here have just written that they do it.

A one year old doesn't understand at all and may need the formula. There is no mitzva at that age to stop them doing any issurim. We don't let a child have treif food even if he takes it himself because of the effect on the neshomo, but eating meat and eating milk fifteen minutes later (shabbat, did you really mean together - you still haven't answered?) is not eating treif. If a child that age say, starts drawing on Shabbos, the parents don't have to say anything. Only from 2-3 when the child understands the concept of things being assur is there a mitzva of chinuch in this way. (Although of course positive things eg saying pesukim, brochos etc have a positive effect from even earlier)

Again I ask. Has anyone been told this by a rav?

↑ Ruchel

Thu, Nov 02 2006, 1:19 pm

mummyof6 wrote:

Has anyone had a RAV tell them that they have to wait ONE HOUR for a ONE YEAR old??

I know people who say their rav said it.

I'm trying to check the halacha site I usually go to, doesn't seem to work now...

↑ amother ↓

Sun, Nov 19 2006, 9:10 pm

timeout wrote:

The common sense of kowing how and when to dress is just Seichel .

and sometimes it is halacha if one wants to follow, for example, guidelines for necklines, skirt slits, etc.

I had been a baalas teshuva for almost 10 years when my husband and I found out we had a situation that could require us t ch"v divorce if not rectified immediately (and we were not permitted to each other for several months!)

Nowhere did anyone ever speak of it and "common sense" where I came from said it was NO BIG DEAL. But apparently it was a pretty big deal.

I am always surprised when I ask a shaila and my common sense was dead wrong. And I am an intelligent, 'worldy' college graduate. Maybe just us baalei teshuva need a hand-holding Rov.

↑ Motek ↓

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 11:39 am

amother wrote:

I had been a baalas teshuva for almost 10 years when my husband and I found out we had a situation that could require us t ch"v divorce if not rectified immediately (and we were not permitted to each other for several months!)

Can you tell us what it was? You're anonymous anyway and maybe it's important for others to hear?

↑ amother ↓

Tue, Nov 21 2006, 12:14 pm

after our 4th child, (remember we were secular, that was a lot), my husband had a vasectomy. as this subject almost never comes up in general frum conversation, we had no idea it was usser.

we were given a heter to live in the same house but were not permitted to each other. the surgery to undo the tying was scheduled but until it and the recuperation and our re-wedding (invalid aidim) was close to 3 months

that was 4 years ago. by the way we have a 3 year old daughter!