In many families the parents think they have to read, if only to show an example of reading and giving an appreciation for books. Motivating the kid to learn to read so he can read the nice story when he wants.
We definitely read, and also definitely make up stories when we think what we read is silly
My mother was home at 8, 9. I felt she had enough time for me.
Sponja wise, before I had a CL honestly I wiped what looked dirty, and that was it...
In the shtetl kids were out a LOT. Today in most places parents are less trusting.
I'm not going back to no meds and no hygiene and no social help times just so my kids can be "strong". People who lived in such times would be so sad and even upset that we go through it as a choice.
Btw we are made (born) as Hashem makes us. He doesn't build most women like Goliath or whatever.
I know that I read because I want my daughter to hear a nice story that either I loved growing up or something we found in the book store or from her gan. Thats the main reason for me anyhow.
I want to motivate interest in books. If not very often I would just tell a story!
My DH reads her stuff from seforim, sometimes really weird, but she seems to like
I saw Zamir Cohen's revolution book on science and Torah, and hassidishe stories... LOL
Last edited by Ruchel on Fri, Jul 29 2011, 7:39 am; edited 1 time in total
From 7-30 days she is a cholah she'ein bo sakana and should fast YK and 9 Av milechatchila, but if she feels unwell she should break her fast (shiurim on YK and regular food on 9 Av, unless her rav holds that shiurim apply on 9 Av, over which there's a machloket).
After 30 days she is obligated in YK and 9 Av like every other person.
As many communities hold that pregnant or nursing women do not fast minor fasts, they are not listed above. If your community holds that a pregnant or nursing woman SHOULD fast a minor fast, and one falls out during the listed times, one should of course ask her LOR.
(This breakdown is the one given in B'Sha'a Tova.)
Just the opinion of that book. Every other sefer I've seen, plus my Rav say that the cutoff for 9 Av is 30 days. A woman may fast between 7 & 30 days, but is not required to.
Says the woman who gave birth on 5 Tammuz, and didn't get the auto heter but wound up breaking fast around 5pm that 9 Av.
Yup. I gave birth on 18 Tammuz and I did not fast on 9 Av. As a matter of fact, I was in the the Telz Stone Bet Hachlama and they served the most delicious fleishig meals, as usual!!!!!
You read such non jewish treif stuff to your kids? Sure we had the Dr. Seuss books at home for the kids to look at the pictures, because people gave them to us...but otherwise? Until they were old enough to read by themselves no one read to them. I wasn't read to either, nor was my mother and we are all voracious readers today as are my children.
My oldest daughter does things differently simply because she and her husband couldn't care less if the house is crawling with bugs. My skin crawls from that. They also don't have allergies and asthma. I have. Two other kids of mine have and they dust and clean for the same reason. My daughter doesn't have to make her own clothes because I sew and enjoy making them for her, but if I weren't around she would sew her own like my middle daughter does. Only the youngest doesn't sew and doesn't do housework but with her lifestyle she is never home anyhow, out at 7, home at 11 PM earliest from work. What will she do when she gets married? I have no idea. Either role reversal if she marries someone who doesn't work at what she does or they will have to have full time live in help to raise their kids. That's what happens on some jobs like hers but then again without people like her the country would not exist.
No I do not believe that you have to read to kids. Just the opposite. Using words that someone else wrote to teach children, in my opinion stifles imagination. And I believe in building imagination. As soon as my kids could talk I would make THEM tell me stories and I would add to their vocabulary in two languages daily. Fact is that it worked out fine, as it did with me.
How do you teach them to love books? They see you read, they see their father learn, and they know that it's "darko shel olam". You learn to read, some kids at three, some at five and some at seven depending on inclination. I had all kinds. one at three, one at four, one at five and the other two at six. I had one at five that was learning a third language, one who hated languages but managed as we spoke English at home and the other three are just normal bilingual kids who are just as happy reading the new york times as reading haaretz and they read both.
So...as my kids are older and maybe I have a bit more perspective, I think it really depends on the tone of the home. You can raise wonderfully educated children without reading to them, you push them to read as soon as they know how to, and eventually if they are in a home with books where they see them and see parents use books for learning and for work (all those psychology volumes that they would see me refer to at home for various things), they will read. And read and read. Even if you don't spend time reading other people's books to them but developing their imagination with words. Even showing them picture books and making up stories about the pictures in my opinion is better than reading.
Hey green eggs and ham - also helped my kids with eating. If they say don't like it, either me or a different kid will say " I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them, sam I am."
7 MINUTES TO FOLD LAUNDRY!! It takes me an hour or more. I do that at 10 pm with my last vestiges of draininf energy.... Uh, the 4 yr old feedin the 2 yr old??? Uh, when in reality you need to sit at the table and coax bite after bite into their mouths while hoping they remain seated..... Anywau I wish I had the time and patience to type a sample day like yesterday on this tiny cellphine keypad but I dont.
We don't hold secular books are treif, but again we are not shtark charedi. Even my modern chassidish great grandmother had secular books.
My DH got a Hebrew picture book for his BM, with pigs as characters. Yup. From a frum guy.
There is something between crawling with maggots and clean freak, too! even us never had maggots crawling around.
By here even in the most charedi chederim, kids do not read at 3. 4, 5, yes. In DD's school, for kids to enter first grade/6 year old/4th year of cheder they need to read well. In many schools that is when they start learning to read, as they just kinda started letters in last year of kindergarten. Which is why we wanted a cheder program.
when in reality you need to sit at the table and coax bite after bite into their mouths while hoping they remain seated.....
I'm a big believer in "if you don't eat, fine, but you won't have anything else unless you want to eat it cold" and NOT make it a struggle for both... it works by many kids.
I also allow DD to eat standing or walking. If she drops something she has to pick it up and clean the floor if needed.
Reading to your children and telling them stories are certainly NOT mutually exclusive. However if one is a working mother and has no household help like most of my friends and I didn't when we were younger (and some not even today, not my MIL at age 88, not me, and so on) and we needed that time to care for our homes and make food after a full day's work, we didn't see it as a problem to tell kids stories and not to read to them, and we didn't worry that they wouldn't read. Besides, the minute you had one kid who could read, they could always read the smaller ones a story if the little ones insisted. But in my house they didn't insist. It was "mommy tell me a story" not "mommy read me a story". They knew that if they wanted to read, they had to learn to read. And they all did.
That is true, my 4yr old dd reads to the younger kids. She's actually reading the cat in the hat right now to my ds (21 months). But there is still something to mom or dad reading the kids stories and the discussions you get from it.
Could all be true but what I was trying to show is that one can have kids who are voracious readers and not have ever read to them but told them stories instead and had an atmosphere at home where books were the norm as soon as one knew how to read. If one is short for time to just sit with your child and have to do something for the house meanwhile, it doesn't mean shortchanging your child in terms of imagination, time with them etc. It just means that you aren't spending that time with your child on your lap for an hour, but rather doing something alongside them.
But tell me, how many of you with five kids and who work full time and care for your own house have an hour a day per child (or even half an hour a day per child) to sit holding them exclusively on your lap reading each one an age appropriate book? Talk about reality check...
I was read to and I'm almost 50. I believe my mother was read to as well and she's nearly 75. My father's mother couldn't read very well and even SHE read to us, but I'm not sure if she read to her children, the youngest of whom is now 80. My aunt read to my kids, her grand nephews. Another aunt of mine bought books for me to read to them. I have shelves and shelves of books for me to read to little children, which thankfully we didn't get rid of when we moved to Israel cause now Micha is enjoying them. I can't imagine not reading to children - isn't it one of the pillars of civilization?
But this is going off on a tangent.
I LOVE this thread.
No Tamiri reading to your children is NOT one of the pillars of civilization but a new invention of the past 150 years or so.
And it's all so nice that all of you had time to read to your kids but there are other, just as good ways, to develop your child's language skills and imagination and love for books. Don't most kids learn to read in school by five? And how much exactly do most kids remember before that age? Meaning do you all remember your mothers reading to you AFTER you were five?? Why did you need her to read to you when you knew how to read already? I don't get it...
FS who pushes books? My sons LOVE them. They bring books to me all the time to read to them.
I was read to a lot as a child and I love reading. I read more than all my friends (who were also big readers) combined.
We talk also and do creative imagination building. Why is that mutually exclusive?
^^^^^^^^^
This. I never force my child to be read to. My daughter loves to have stories read to her. She loves the pictures. We have the (I think) artscroll 39 melachot picture book. She does not even know what she is looking at but she loves "reading" it with ema looking at the pictures and talking about what is there.
But tell me, how many of you with five kids and who work full time and care for your own house have an hour a day per child (or even half an hour a day per child) to sit holding them exclusively on your lap reading each one an age appropriate book? Talk about reality check...
I never worked full time with more than one child, and only work part time with the current child I read to, but I imagine that if, as most women, the kids are close in age, you put them all in bed, plunk yourself down, and read. Not to each one individually, which is a luxury that only 1-2 kids can have. And you have to hope not to fall asleep while reading.
You read such non jewish treif stuff to your kids? Sure we had the Dr. Seuss books at home for the kids to look at the pictures, because people gave them to us...but otherwise? Until they were old enough to read by themselves no one read to them. I wasn't read to either, nor was my mother and we are all voracious readers today as are my children.
Are you really serious? I dont know of a MO household that thinks that green eggs and ham or any other Dr Seuss book is a no no. Those were some of the best books out there. As I mentioned before, Green eggs and ham was maybe the first story read to me that I really remember, I guess I comprehended it. It was and still is (I have it in my home library too) one of teh best stories out there.
