who to give to? | Imamother

gs675

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:34 pm

Who does one give shlach manot to? Everyone I speak to says they 'cancel' with their friends, others cancel with their family... so who do you actually give?

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:40 pm

rabbi
kid's teachers - its a chance 4 me 2 say thank u
parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles and married 1st cousins if they live in driving distance - its so nice to go in an see the family an wish them happy purim.
business partner - altho we promise each other to keep them small.
and maybe 5 other family-friends that we see on regular basis an my husband learns with their husband sorta thing.
and a couple to non-frum frinds that might not have purim if we don't give it to them.
kids get to give 2 or 3 of their friends a small pekelah.
the lsit keeps growing.
I keep it on the computer so I can check it each year and add or delete ppl.

Ema of 5

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:41 pm

I only cancel with my friends who are not going to be here. my list usually ends up being about 30-40 (including teachers, baby sitter, rosh yeshiva, and friends and family)

Fabulous

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 7:47 pm

Parents, my three close friends, one or two neighbors, some business associates of dh, a few of dh's friends and a few of our cousin, plus a few people from the country. Ends up being between 15-20.

justanothermom

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 12:03 am

We sign up with the shul/yeshiva that gives to all of the families, from all of the families (for a price of course). Then all we do is give to a couple of best friends and one or two people who really help us out on our block.

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 12:28 am

We've started giving to random people in our neighborhood that we see, but don't have much to do with. Many of them are secular Jews and may or may not be celebrating Purim.

4cutekids

Mon, Jan 24 2011, 12:38 am

Find out from your local tomchei shabbos what families are not going to get much or need real help (in this economy with so many average people having lost their jobs, it's common) and send them a real nice basket of food (they may also have rules about privacy and you may not be able to deliver it yourself, but all the better because that's the M'shloach part...that it goes with a Shliach).

Bring a basket to an older relative or to the old age home, think of Jews who won't be getting tons of packages and the one you bring will make them happy

Or call your local shul and send to the new members, they are liable to not have many friends yet and will really appreciate the gesture!

Who knows, you may end up with a bunch of new friends this way and isn't that what purim is about? The Jewish people getting close again.

sky

Fri, Feb 04 2011, 11:01 am

teacher/babysitter
neighbors
rabbis (something extra special to say thank you)
cousins
bosses
co-workers (who have helped dh tremendously, its our way of saying thank you)
in-laws/siblings/great-aunts

we try to make a stop to the nursing home and give out something small there. We used to go visit someone in particular, now that he is no longer there, we still hope to make time to go.

It adds up to 30.

Rivkachka

Fri, Feb 04 2011, 11:17 am

I never thought about cancelling with friends; I've always given to friends, family, rabbeim, employers, etc.

However, this year we might go in on one of the shul-sponsored baskets to minimize shlepping, and just give to family, rabbeim and maybe my close friends.

obagys

Fri, Feb 04 2011, 11:27 am

We give to:

Family (and we have A LOT in town - both sets of parents, a bunch of siblings, and cousins)
Shul Rabbi
Neighbors that we are close with
Friends
Teachers (there's 8 of them this year to give to)
Kids friends (they are allowed to give up to 5 friends each and we have 4 kids able to give)
Bosses/co-workers

Altogether we give about 45-50

bigsis144

Fri, Feb 04 2011, 12:18 pm

I live far from any family whatsoever, so I usually give the other two families in my building, to one very kind family who "adopted" us and frequently invites us for yomim tovim, and to two of my close seminary friends. I make a few extras in case my husband sees his chavrusas or someone unexpected drops by.

Ruchel

Sat, Feb 05 2011, 2:36 pm

Around me people give from 2 to 10.
I would never give to neighbours or coworkers who aren't close friends, unless they gave to me.
I wouldn't even think of giving to rabbi or baby sitter or teacher.

shalhevet

Sat, Feb 05 2011, 5:28 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I wouldn't even think of giving to rabbi or baby sitter or teacher.

It's a nice idea to adopt - it's a way of saying an extra thank you for their efforts. Very Happy

Liba

Sat, Feb 05 2011, 6:01 pm

We give to the bus/van drivers who bring my kids to school, teachers, therapists, principals, secretaries, neighbors and friends who live close enough to deliver on foot and the ladies who regularly come to our house for megila reading.

It ends up 40-50 people total.

YALT ↓

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 5:26 am

until now I'd run around town giving to all our friends, local cousins, teachers/babysitters, and neighbors we have what to do with.

Last year we didn't have time to deliver them all since in the afternoon we normally go out - DH plays music for parties.
This year, we are sitting at home and letting everyone come to us in the morning. We'll take the kids to their teachers and anyone who comes here - and that's it.

↑ YALT

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 5:26 am

chocolate moose wrote:

Why don't you give to people that you don't like, and mess with their heads ?

I guess I'll need to prepare an extra one this year.

willow

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 8:37 am

YESHASettler wrote:

We've started giving to random people in our neighborhood that we see, but don't have much to do with. Many of them are secular Jews and may or may not be celebrating Purim.

That is really nice of you!