Teacher troubles | Imamother

amother ↓

Wed, May 17 2006, 12:36 am

All year I've had conflict with my son's secular teacher. She replies to my emails in a way that is not respectful IMHO. I've spoken with the teacher and principal on more than one occasion. No results. My younger child will also have this teacher. I feel like the only thing I can do is cope, but after this latest incident, I'm just even more frustrated. Any ideas? Posting anon in case anyone else involved might know any of the parties.

Mommy912

Wed, May 17 2006, 9:29 am

It is hard to give any sort of opinion or advice since you didn't give too many details about the situation.
One thing that I have found is that some really nice people have never learned email etiquette and may tend to write disrespectful emails. They don't intend to be rude at all, it is is just that they don't formulate an email like a letter or a phone conversation, rather they just write the first things that pop into their heads.
Good Luck with your situation.

↑ amother

Wed, May 17 2006, 9:44 am

I did not give details on purpose cause it is a small school/community and I didn't want to be recognized and cause even more trouble for myself. In each grade aside from K there is only one class/teacher so switching was an option we could only dream of. True about email tone, except the emails reflect her personality in spoken word also. We pay incredible tuition and her email says, "it is not my job to....." and "I have no idea why..." and that kind of stuff that makes us feel the ball is in our court. I contacted her this time because we are trying to help our child on our end, but can't be with him all day to help him remember things (he is forgetting assignments, forgetting to turn things in and to bring the books necessary to do homework). Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Just about 1 more month of school!

morningstar

Wed, May 17 2006, 9:46 am

Has this teacher requested that parents communicate by e-mail? Or is it possible the that the teacher is overrun with parent e-mail.. in which case the teacher may by trying to cut it down by being curt. ( After all, there are thirty parents communicating.. and expecting rapid responses.)

In any case, any major issues should be dealt with in person.. or if that is impossible, over the phone, by appointment, at a time that is convenient for the teacher. that will go a long way to setting the interaction up to be respectful, and can prevent some of the misunderstanding that is so common in e-mails, as Mommy 912 has pointed out.

You do not say anything that indicates the nature of the problem--whether the conflict spills over to your child, or if it is strictly a parent-teacher issue. If you have no option but to send your next child to this same teacher, it is important to understand why this relationship has soured and to do what you can to repair it.

Perhaps if you offer some particulars, others will have useful suggestions.

imaamy

Thu, May 18 2006, 12:39 am

She gives her home number but I am not a phone caller. She has a young child. I would prefer email that she can answer at her convenience. I tend to email late at night (like now!) or early am. I really doubt she gets even 1 email a week from a parent. We had a couple meetings during the year. Very upsetting to me, and to my husband who was present. Her way or the highway, and I'm tired of putting up. Principal is defensive. Sad

ruth

Thu, Jun 29 2006, 2:26 am

I've had a situation where an administer had bad "bedside manners."

Many have left the school because of her. I've stayed on for many reasons and tolerate it. It was very hard for me though. I confided my frustration and pain about this to nother administrator whose job it is to deal with the non-academic issues. She admitted that this administrator has a gruff side, "but really cares about the kids."

Yeah, but why does she have to make us parents feel like dirt? The sharing/venting helped.

I have matured as a mother and my personal life has changed alot so some of my stressors have dissipated. I'm not as vulnerable to her now. I do sense however, that now that I've since married and no longer a single mom, I feel she is more respectful. Who knows.

The best advice I've gotten about many such matters is a Rabbi Nachman concept: don't take things personally -- its not about us. (This concept is deeper than it seems.)

I send you chizuk.