 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
|
amother
Seashell
|
 Tue, Apr 09 2024, 7:14 pm
|
Would your husband take a part time job, even tutoring? That would help you guys out a lot I'm sure
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 2
|
|
amother
Geranium
|
Tue, Apr 09 2024, 7:54 pm
Just to give you a little bit of chizuk, you are broke because you're in kollel. You are getting zchusim and schar for every moment you are doing this. It's hard!! But you are amazing and you and your husband are keeping the world held high with your Torah.
You are not broke due to medical bills, or gambling, other addictions, or mental health disorders. BH!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
11
|
|
amother
Daisy
|
Tue, Apr 09 2024, 10:41 pm
| amother DarkRed wrote: | You sound spoilt
Many non kollel couples hardly eat out, can't afford babysitters and would never buy expensive pre checked lettuce. Budgeting when shopping for food is a given for them.
Never get hand-outs as don't qualify for kollel related charities |
Please speak gently. It takes some people a longer time to evolve and develop skills . In my experience as a kollel wife 12 years - I didn’t go out or use lettuce and any of the other evil excesses mentioned. I ended up with a frayed marriage and nearly broken physically and emotionally.
Please OP see to your emotional self, nurture your marriage and hold on to the reality that you have committed yourself to something special.
I remember a serial talking about almost pareve meatloaf and relating to it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
5
|
|
amother
Indigo
|
Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:55 pm
| amother Geranium wrote: | Just to give you a little bit of chizuk, you are broke because you're in kollel. You are getting zchusim and schar for every moment you are doing this. It's hard!! But you are amazing and you and your husband are keeping the world held high with your Torah.
You are not broke due to medical bills, or gambling, other addictions, or mental health disorders. BH! |
I'm not OP but your beautiful words gave me chizuk. Thank you!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Wine
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 2:43 am
Op - I am living in Israel too and if you are working and getting support there are lots of ways to reduce your expenses, without choking yourself so your standard of living is so tight.
Cut yourself some slack - you grew up without the budgeting and money skills, and it takes time to learn the ropes. I really believe this is a parental responsibility that to many parents avoid - I am making sure my children have the skills.
My guess is that you are living somewhere so expensive that your rent is exorbitant.
Look into moving to other parts of yerushalyim - places like French Hill, Ramat Shlomo, Neve Yaakov, Givaat Zeev have significant young american populations, and most of them are in your boat rather then the fully supported crowd in sanhedria murchevet, ramat eshkol, romema, and sorozkin.
Second:
You got great advice on food budgeting. There is no reason you should be so tight you cant afford food.
I actually recommend sitting down, making a monthly and yearly budget ( YT is a yearly expense that you need to plan for, same for bein hazmanim\summer vacation)
What is your income?
What are the monthly expenses?
This is my budget, and I feel very comfortable.
Dh makes 4,500 nis: $850 for tutoring + 1,100nis kollel check + a bein hasdarim job in the yeshiva he learns. I make 10,000 nis
Income: 14,500 nis
Maaser: 1,450 nis
Rent: 4,500 nis
Vaad Bayit: 250 nis
Utilities: 500 nis
Food: 4,000
Babysitter: 1,200
Savings: 1,000
Yearly expense fund: 1,000.
We divide it like this: 3,000 for sukkos, 3,000 for the summer, 4,000 for Pesach, and 1,000 each for purim and chanuka.
This includes the wardrobe shopping I do sukkos and pesach time, and we are more careful with the rest of our budget in these months, cut out extra's more careful with the food budget for the rest of the month
Travel: 450 (2 chofshi's)
Extra's - like a babysitter, ice cream, taxi
Retirement and taxes are deducted before I get payed. We usually get a tax credit from the US and a maanak avoda - they go straight to savings.
You can see very clearly - even though we have a decent income, if we lived in romeme and payed 8,000 nis for the same 2 bedroom apartment, we would be very very tight.
I think the rent is the key - the popular neighborhoods have become only possible if you bough years and years ago, or if you are very wealthy.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Honeydew
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 3:33 am
|
can I be chutzpadik and ask above poster what field you are in that makes 10k a month. I need to be making that but right now only making half of that
| |
|
| Back to top |
1
0
|
salt
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 3:38 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | can I be chutzpadik and ask above poster what field you are in that makes 10k a month. I need to be making that but right now only making half of that |
5K is less than minimum wage if you are working a full time job.
Almost every full time job should pay more than that.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Cyan
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 3:51 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | can I be chutzpadik and ask above poster what field you are in that makes 10k a month. I need to be making that but right now only making half of that |
You seem to be very underpaid. I thought starting salaries were around 6500 here?
What is your field and how many hours do you work?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
momaleh
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 3:59 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | can I be chutzpadik and ask above poster what field you are in that makes 10k a month. I need to be making that but right now only making half of that |
You know she said 10k nis, not USD
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Wine
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 4:20 am
| amother Honeydew wrote: | | can I be chutzpadik and ask above poster what field you are in that makes 10k a month. I need to be making that but right now only making half of that |
Very basic american customer service job - 8 hour days, but I split my hours so I get to have my afternoons with my kids.
My guess is you are working part time?
I find that the school schedule (even with tzaharon) makes it really hard to work full time out of the house, that's why I went the remote work from home route.
I also have the ability to make more by doing more hours ( don't work sunday or friday), but this works for us now
When I worked out of the house 8-4, I was paying a ton of money for some to pick my kids up from tzharon at 4, because it would take me 45 min. to get home from Har Hotzvim during rush hour.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Wine
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 4:30 am
| momaleh wrote: | | You know she said 10k nis, not USD |
Oh if you meant 10k USD, which is 35-38k nis give or take, I think only high tech, and senior very very intense and full time positions make that much.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
thegiver
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 4:36 am
What’s great about being poor
You come up with creative solutions
It builds your spiritual muscles—hashem gives you exactly what you need and acc to chovos halevavos all physical deprivation builds spiritual muscle (why are there historically so many righteous people in eretZ history)
Now you are learning compassion for poor people so one day when you live on a greater budget it’s easier for you to give generously to real poor people
You and your kids become satisfied with less which makes you more resilient in life—it was eye opening for me when I grew up to 20 and started crying when I didn’t get what I wanted. When ur kids hear no it’s actually good for them!
What helps you stay optimistic
Is being around others in the same boat who live within their means and manage. I heard it’s easier to do in eretZ yisroel.
Pour your heart out to Hashem—from your place of meytzar hashem himself can take you out—say tehillim. Also bitachon creates a keli for more parnossa.
Acceptance-one day I couldn’t afford shoes which I really needed and I said oh well hashem doesn’t want me to have shoes right now. That day my husband brought home a gift card from his boss for the exact amount I needed.
May hakadosh Boruch hu help you and May you see yourself as the richest in the world! (Satisfied with your best portion compared to the vast majority of others)
With gashmiyus u have to look down (at others who struggle more medical bills etc) and with ruchniyus u have to look up (at people who work harder than you)
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Honeydew
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 4:53 am
| amother Cyan wrote: | You seem to be very underpaid. I thought starting salaries were around 6500 here?
What is your field and how many hours do you work? |
I work part time, not FT. So I guess it makes sense.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Honeydew
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 4:54 am
| amother Wine wrote: | | Oh if you meant 10k USD, which is 35-38k nis give or take, I think only high tech, and senior very very intense and full time positions make that much. |
No no, I meant nis.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Powderblue
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:02 am
|
Sorry to derail this for a min, but I'm really wondering how ppl work full time here in EY. Even when I try breaking up my hours into morning + evening so I can be home afternoon with the kids, I can never seem to pull off more than 6 hours. By the time you drop off all the kids, then run home to work, it can already easily be 9am if not later. Then you need a quick break somewhere in there, even just 15 min. By 1:15 you gotta be out the door again to pick them up. So if you're lucky you got in 4 hours. Unless you have everyone in bed by 8 and hardly say hello to your husband and then work from 8-12, how can you do 8 hours?? And when in heaven's name do you get anything else done? (laundry, eating supper, sitting down to relax with dh, etc etc etc) Not everything is so easily done in the afternoon with all the kids...
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
salt
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:13 am
| amother Powderblue wrote: | | Sorry to derail this for a min, but I'm really wondering how ppl work full time here in EY. Even when I try breaking up my hours into morning + evening so I can be home afternoon with the kids, I can never seem to pull off more than 6 hours. By the time you drop off all the kids, then run home to work, it can already easily be 9am if not later. Then you need a quick break somewhere in there, even just 15 min. By 1:15 you gotta be out the door again to pick them up. So if you're lucky you got in 4 hours. Unless you have everyone in bed by 8 and hardly say hello to your husband and then work from 8-12, how can you do 8 hours?? And when in heaven's name do you get anything else done? (laundry, eating supper, sitting down to relax with dh, etc etc etc) Not everything is so easily done in the afternoon with all the kids... |
Tzaharon till 4, and husband does the morning run and wife gets to work way earlier than 9.
This is usually the routine for kollel families, where the wife is the main/only breadwinner.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Cyan
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:22 am
| amother Powderblue wrote: | | Sorry to derail this for a min, but I'm really wondering how ppl work full time here in EY. Even when I try breaking up my hours into morning + evening so I can be home afternoon with the kids, I can never seem to pull off more than 6 hours. By the time you drop off all the kids, then run home to work, it can already easily be 9am if not later. Then you need a quick break somewhere in there, even just 15 min. By 1:15 you gotta be out the door again to pick them up. So if you're lucky you got in 4 hours. Unless you have everyone in bed by 8 and hardly say hello to your husband and then work from 8-12, how can you do 8 hours?? And when in heaven's name do you get anything else done? (laundry, eating supper, sitting down to relax with dh, etc etc etc) Not everything is so easily done in the afternoon with all the kids... |
I have a lot of friends that work full time.
Options are:
1. Go to work 7:30-3:30, husband does dropoffs and pickups. Relieve him at 3:45/4 so he can go to second seder
2. Work 8:00 - 4:00, mishpachton has early drop offs, husband does the bus drop offs, Do tzaharon until 4:00
3. Make up 3-4 hours at night like you said
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Powderblue
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:37 am
|
None of you have babysitters for kids under 3 who only go 8:45 - 1:30? And what do you do at times of the year without tzaharon or without gan altogether?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
salt
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:44 am
| amother Powderblue wrote: | | None of you have babysitters for kids under 3 who only go 8:45 - 1:30? And what do you do at times of the year without tzaharon or without gan altogether? |
Only if you work part time.
If you want to work full time you need a daycare with hours till 3:30/4, or DH takes care of pickup and takes care of kids until you finish work.
Or you hire a teenager to pick up your kids and take care of them till you get home.
Or some people do a couple of very long work days, and other days short - if your work is flexible.
Days where there is no gan and you have to work, there are kaytanot, either run by the gan for extra pay, or run by teenagers in the neighbourhood (much cheaper), or DH if he is in kollel and it's ben hazmanim.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
Elfrida
|
Wed, Apr 10 2024, 5:48 am
Start work at 7:30. Your husband goes to early minyan and is home by that time. He deals with getting everyone out of the house in the morning.
Get home at 3:30, in time to meet the hasa'ah or do pick up from tzaharon. Optionally, employ a teenager for a rew hours once or twice a week to give you a hand with childcare or light housework.
It's a lot easier when you work out of the house and have fixed hours, then leave your job in the office.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
My toddler broke my nose
|
53 |
Fri, May 03 2024, 4:43 pm  |
|
|
Wwyd - sons broke each others glasses on purpose
|
26 |
Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:42 am |
|
|
My dryer broke.. please recommend a good replacement
|
9 |
Sun, Jan 07 2024, 8:24 pm |
|
|
Baby broke out from medication, switched meds
|
11 |
Sun, Aug 20 2023, 10:23 am |
|
|
A getaway for a broke family
|
14 |
Wed, Aug 09 2023, 8:16 pm |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
