Playrooms- is there a solution?

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 9:53 am

BH built a beautiful house and we have a playroom on the basement. I loved the idea of the toys being away from the main area and yes my kids go down to play. Here's my issue. Whenever there are guests, my playroom gets wrecked. Boxes and boxes of toys dumped and mixed. Things strewn everywhere. It's almost too messy for the kids to even clean.
If it's one friend over similar age to one of my kids then it's more manageable but when it's bunches of kids different ages it gets horrible.
My friends say the solution is to only take out one toy at a time and lock up the rest. I don't have a lock on my closet but I have put the in other places and really high. It doesn't seem to matter they find it all. If I'm only allowing 2 toys at a time what is the point of having these toys or the playroom at all. I built up a space with a variety of toys and a nice space to use them and I feel like just getting rid of the whole place. They can't actually be playing there if it looks like that at the end.
Yes part of the problem is that I'm not policing. I'm not going to police, in busy with other things. Dont tell me to police. Advise me what to do if I'm not going to be there policing.
The last few times I came downstairs to tell kids to clean up before they leave and it was so bad, they couldn't clean it, it was too all over the place and I didn't have the hour to do it with them.

amother

Brickred

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 10:13 am

Ideally, you need to train your children to put away 1 toy before taking out another. This is hard work but it’s worth it. However, this only works with your own children. Not with others.

When there are other kids over (or if your own kids can’t be relied on not to dump out toys), you need to lock your toy closet and take out only a few toys.

I totally feel your pain about what’s the point of having so many nice toys if they’re not played with. But there is no other solution. If you put some thought into a weekly toy rotation then all your toys will get used, just not at the same time. Toy rotations are also good because they keep the toys exciting and novel.

leaf

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 10:27 am

Can you state your expectations before the kids start playing? Show them how everything has a spot. Explain that thats how you want to find the playroom when they finish playing. Ask them what they can do to ensure it happens.
Maybe go down once or twice and praise whatevers in order and instruct them how to return things that are not being used...
Maybe offer an incentive - abt 10 min before playtime is over, tell them that you are coming down in 10 min and if you find the playroom orderly, everyone gets chocolate or whatever...
Hatzlacha!

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 10:48 am

I feel like 1 toy at a time is very stifling for kids.

Can you bribe kids to clean up?
And divide the job? I find my kids (and guests) are more amenable when it feels doable. Like everyone pick up 50 toys. Or choose 2 jobs. Even if it's not all clean it should be better and you can finish motzai shabbos or Sunday.

amother

Red

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 11:35 am

Ahhh same! By me my entire house gets wrecked with toys because my playroom is on the main level. It’s one of the reasons I get overwhelmed when having company. As others have posted, I started locking away a lot of the stuff, I leave out a kitchen set with the fake food, magna tiles, duplo… and the older kids have access to some board games. That’s it. I can’t be cleaning/organizing for hours after hosting.

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 12:05 pm

My kids don't play with one toy at a time, it's not fun for them, they have huge imaginations. Maybe 3 toys at a time.
When I say guests, I mean kids, neighbors, shabbos afternoon friends. These aren't formal arrangements per se and I'm not policing.
Right now my toy closet doesn't have doors, that's why there's no lock. It would complicated to add doors because of the space but I may just have to.

amother

Wallflower

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 12:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

My kids know the rule.
No more than two or three toys at a time. This keeps the mismanageable and they tend to clean things up as they are finished with them. And if you don't get your friends to clean up with you then you're going to have to clean up for them or there are no friends coming next week. There's no such thing as an excuse in my house that neighbor X was the one who made the mess because neighbor X is your friend and that makes you responsible to either have them clean up with you or clean up for them.

Whenever neighbors come, most of it gets cleaned up all together before they leave. My kids encourage their friends to clean up with them because they don't want to do it all and by now it's almost automatic.

It takes time but you have to keep repeating those rules and never ever clean up for them.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 12:14 pm

that's what I love best about my basement. out of site, out of mind. my kids wreck it, but I dont care because I dont see it. We clean it as a family about once every 3 weeks. They do kvetch about it, but its so much easier than making sure they only take out one toy at a time. (few have ADHD so that makes also more difficult)

amother

Lightpink

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 12:15 pm

Such is the life of a mom of kids. There are no solutions besides for waiting for them to grow up. But then you,l have the grandkids so…..

The real way is to have very few types of toys, but most moms want their kids to have everything. I go through cycles of wanting to buy every toy that’s out there, and wanting to throw out everything besides for the few basics.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 1:23 pm

Make sure your bins that kids under 7 will have access to are labeled idealy with pictures. When cleanup is easy, kids will quickly stick then into the box. Visually with pictures Is better, because so many times toys come with little parts or undisnguishable pieces that kids get frustrated because they can't figure out which box it belongs to. Don't leave out toys with very small peices. let the kids come over to you or one of your older kids for the games with smaller peices. Tha is kept in a locked closet.Then you tell then, they follow the rule, which toys have to be put away before toys with small peices come out.
Put your kids in charge. Part of enjoying guest is that they are responsible for the clean-up. Tehy will do what works for them. They will want the closet locked when toddler or certain messy kids come. Teach all neighbors your rules. Elementary age kids should be able to follow your rules whthout reminders or they don't come again.
Set a shabbos routine. Every shabbos inform your kids that they get shabbos party/f
Shalosh seudas fruits... after the room is cleaned at a certain time. And they should inform the neighbor to help clean before they come up to for that schedule. Don't wait for motzai shabbos when the kids are going home to clean up give them a warning.

imasinger

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:13 pm

3 toys is messy but manageable. More can get overwhelming really quickly.

And it's unnecessary. We can use our own imaginations to picture kids choosing magnatiles, menchies, and animals. They might also enjoy having blocks and games as well, but it probably won't be the same level of enjoyment as getting the 2 or 3 most important ideas. And if the kids are good at imagination, they can create a visit to the doctor for the sick stuffed animal without dumping out the doctor kit. Or they can clean up the blocks first, while the animal is in a magnatile car on its way to the doctor.

If you don't have doors, perhaps use shelving and bins that need grownup help and permission to open?

You can also impress on your own kids the limit of 3, and the importance of cleaning together before friends leave.

mummiedearest

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 2:58 pm

zaq wrote:

Here's a radical solution none of you will agree with: HAVE FEWER TOYS. Nobody needs closets and closets full of them. Most of the young families I see have more toys than all six classes of our entire preschool put together.

I am guilty of that, yes. I agree with you in theory. I’d love to own a small collection of quality toys. I gave up on that years ago, though. I don’t actually get to choose what my kids have, in reality. They get gifts from grandparents, aunts, uncles… and they want to keep them. At the end of the day, taking away their gifts to make my life easier is not right. As kids get older, this becomes less of a problem. When they’re still little, enlist other adults to help. It is what it is.

amother

Eggshell

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 3:31 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

We have a small apartment and very little room for toys. We purge our toys regularly, as we know more gifts are coming. We don't throw out good things but we do give them away to friends the shul thrift shop or whatever, and reframe it as sharing our bounty with others. Our philosophy is that you don't have to keep something forever just because it was a gift. You can use it for a while and then it's ok to pass it along for someone else to enjoy. Keeping an entire warehouse full of toys from your granny won't make her any more beloved than cherishing just a handful of favorite items.

I don't see it as giving things away to make my life easier. I see it as chinuch and making the children's lives easier. No matter how big an estate you may live on, eventually you run out of space and have to cut back. The earlier children learn to be selective about the possessions they keep, the easier it will be for them to make such decisions as adults.