Feeling alone in my struggle...

amother

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:20 am

We are struggling a lot financially. DH lost his job. The school knows about it but wouldn't reduce our tuition owed. Forced us to fundraise... I cried to the administrator. No discount. Managed to get it together from a wealthy family member.

Our Rav (who has a shul we have attended for over a decade) knows. We are on Tomchei and they call the Rav listed to confirm situation. Plus I asked poverty related shailas like maaser... I stated we can't pay our bills. I work full time and basic expenses outweigh income.

Both did MASSIVE fundraisers for Purim.

No one called us to ask if we needed help. No checks delivered. Nothing.

I guess they assume the family member can help us?! They can't help with everything. We are struggling.
Who is the money going to? We are on Tomchei which is really hard to get in my city. Really hard. They ask a lot of questions and require a lot of paperwork.
I am frustrated as I work so hard and can't provide. I am seriously wondering what people think of us. Do they consider us part of the community? Do people care about us?!
Where is the money going? The school body isn't a poor one. We were never rich but we had the old 10 year old car while others had fancy late model SUVs. Not too many who can't afford food and get Tomchei...
Why are we overlooked?!

amother

Heather

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:29 am

It really, really stinks but you need to ask for help.

The Rav SHOULD offer. The school SHOULD offer. But they won't.

They know you're struggling but figure if you don't ask, you're managing.

People only give when asked.

amother

Heather

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 3:46 am

amother OP wrote:

I literally said we can't pay our bills...

You are 100% right. He should have offered.

But from experience, people STILL only give when asked. Broad hints just don't do it.

It shouldn't be this way, but unfortunately it usually is.

(That story about the Rav who gave a generous sum to the man who asked if milk is kosher for the Four Cups at the seder? It's a famous story because it's unusual.)