Is it worth it? | Imamother

amother

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 8:18 am

Hi, I have been wanting to go away a little all summer. Like a shabbos or extended weekend.
An opportunity just came up for me to rent a house in nj close to my sister just Friday thru motzei shabbos.
I have twins who are less than 6 months old, as well as 2 other little children. and I woke up this morning with intense anxiety about the whole thing.
Am I crazy?
Should I just cancel?
I won’t be traveling with additional help but my sister said she would help.
At home I have help every evening/night.
I was sure I’d manage it and would be a nice change.
Why am I feeling so anxious?
Should I push myself and end up enjoying?
I didn’t pack yet

amother

Blonde

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 8:26 am

hard to say without more info
off the top of my head I would say that the evening and nighttime help would be invaluable and I wouldn't be quick to give that up even for one night

amother

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 9:23 am

amother Blonde wrote:

hard to say without more info
off the top of my head I would say that the evening and nighttime help would be invaluable and I wouldn't be quick to give that up even for one night

That’s my dilemma. Thanks for the validation. Do you have multiples?

dinglehopper

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:13 am

No help as in, you'd be alone with two toddlers and two babies in a house that isn't yours? Or no help in that your husband would also be there but you often have hired help as well? Because I'd think the two parents could definitely handle one night. It won't be relaxing but it might be nice to get away.

amother

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:14 am

dinglehopper wrote:

Exactly- I’d be with husband but we usually have additional help.

amother

Carnation

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:18 am

Are you going to be able to take it easy when you get back? I would say it's probably gonna be tough, but you will survive. If it was me, I would probably do it.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:19 am

Assuming you don't have ppd or other urgent concerns, I think you'll be okay and might even really enjoy. You'll get to spend time with your sister and she said she would help. And it's an opportunity to see if this is something you would do again in the near future. In a worst case scenario, it's just one night and day, you have a stressful one night and day, and you decide it will be a while before you try this again. If you're feeling overwhelmingly anxious and really don't want to, that's different and you probably shouldn't do it.

hodeez

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:20 am

I don't have multiples but my kids are very close in age. I almost never go anywhere because it's so much harder and anxiety inducing than just staying home. Doesn't sound like you would be enjoying this getaway too much

amother

Cinnamon

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:41 am

Let me tell you, a close acquaintance of mine went away for a weekend, Friday through Sunday noon, to a house in a different city. She has a newborn, under 6 weeks, a 1 1/2 year-old not walking yet, and 2 older also close in age but 3+ yrs older than the 2 babies. She told me it was worth every penny. she took it very easy. The Shabbos food they ordered... was very worthwhile the change of scenery.

amother

Papayawhip

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:45 am

amother Lawngreen wrote:

Do you have multiples? 6 months is really little to go away with them. Speaking from real experience.

English3

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:46 am

I wouldn't go. Who is cooking the food? Also Friday morning will be chaos trying to pack up and arriving, the kids are hungry. As well leaving motzei is also hard.

tichellady

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:50 am

I would not. I find going away with little kids to be beyond exhausting. But everyone is different

amother

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:58 am

English3 wrote:

I wouldn't go. Who is cooking the food? Also Friday morning will be chaos trying to pack up and arriving, the kids are hungry. As well leaving motzei is also hard.

Exactly. Means no sleep tonight and motzei also cause leaving so late and getting home middle of the night.

amother

Orchid

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 10:59 am

Would you be able to eat meals at your sisters house?
If it’s close by/ eruv - can your toddlers sleep by your sister Friday night?
Does your sister have older kids who can watch the babies on shabbos afternoon so you can get a nap?

It might be tiring and hard for you if you don’t have any help but it’s so hard to know… you might end up enjoying getting away for a day.
In any case it’s only one night if things don’t go well.

amother

Orchid

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:01 am

amother OP wrote:

Exactly. Means no sleep tonight and motzei also cause leaving so late and getting home middle of the night.

Maybe you should just do a staycation.
Buy lots of good food for shabbos.
Can you hire a babysitter on Motzei Shabbos and go out with your husband for 2 hours after everyone is asleep?

amother

Pink

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:16 am

Are you in the city? If yes I think it’s worth it to get out. Also can you stay by your sister motzai shabbos so it becomes an extended weekend?

amother

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:50 am

amother Orchid wrote:

Maybe you should just do a staycation.
Buy lots of good food for shabbos.
Can you hire a babysitter on Motzei Shabbos and go out with your husband for 2 hours after everyone is asleep?

That’s actually a great idea. I didn’t even think of that. I only think about the kids the kids. But I think that would be a great idea.

amother

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 11:51 am

amother Pink wrote:

Are you in the city? If yes I think it’s worth it to get out. Also can you stay by your sister motzai shabbos so it becomes an extended weekend?

We are , but my husband works Sunday morning

amother

Orchid

Fri, Aug 25 2023, 12:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

That’s actually a great idea. I didn’t even think of that. I only think about the kids the kids. But I think that would be a great idea.

Go for it! It sounds like you really need to get out for a little bit without the kids..
Can you drive to visit your sister on Sunday afternoon? So much easier than packing up and dealing with overnight. (I know… you’ll still have to pack up lots of diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, snacks, change of clothing…but its still easier than overnight)