Do People Save? | Imamother

Barbara

Sun, Jun 26 2011, 7:49 pm

amother wrote:

Barbara wrote:

amother wrote:

Save? What does that word mean? Anyone that can save should be paying more school fees if they are not already paying it in full.

That's ridiculous.

Anyone who can scrape together an extra 2 cents should have some savings. What happens if you have an unexpected medical bill, or have to be out out of work on disability for some time? Or need to replace an appliance (oven, even a vacuum cleaner) or complete a home repair. No one should be in a position where they have to decide whether to fix their child's broken tooth or put food on the table. And no tuition committee should -- or as far as I know, does -- demand that of families. Savings are necessary.

And the more you can save -- for emergencies, for large purchases, for simchas, for retirement -- the better.

I would love to save, but how? My husband and I both work. We make too much to get any benefits. The yeshivos and schools all see our income and will not give any tuition reductions. We live in a too small apartment because we cannot afford to pay more in rent. It is now nearly the end of the month and our account is overdrawn by nearly $100 and we still owe money to the grocery. I was so embarrassed to turn away a meshulach last week--I couldn't even find a quarter to give him! We don't have dental insurance (too expensive), so my kids have not been to the dentist, although they need to and do have cavities.

I agree savings are necessary, but there are those of us who really and truly live paycheck to paycheck without any extras. I don't have even an extra 2 cents.

If you've gone through your budget, eliminated the things that you can, and still can't save, well, then you can't save right now. Most of us have gone through periods like that.

The point I was trying to make, though, is that its silly to suggest that people who receive any tuition assistance at all should not have any savings. Schools can, and do, recognize the need for some degree of savings for emergencies. In fact, if you're living paycheck to paycheck, I think that you should try to sit down with the school to see if they can help, or at least defer some tuition until you're on firmer ground.

As to the dentist, someone suggested dental schools, and that's a great idea.

amother

Mon, Jun 27 2011, 1:27 am

life'sgreat wrote:

amother wrote:

People with self esteem save first, then decide if what they want to spend $ on, is a need or a want.

Where does self esteem come into the picture? Confused

Someone with self esteem spends $ on what they need, not dependent on what other people around them will think. Lack of self esteem causes unnecessary purchases. A strong desire to save and be independent is another character trait that not everyone possesses. It makes no difference how much or how little, saving as a way of life is important no matter what someone's actual income is.
Paying yourself first is of utmost importance. So is eliminating credit card and other debt, and becoming knowledgable about all money matters.
There are people that earn and squander hundreds, thousands or millions, the amounts are irrelevant.
Then there are people, some of whom I know persnally, with large families and yet they manage beautifully. They hold their heads high and are very proud, as they know where they stand.
How do they do it? Spending is non existent, every single penny is saved. Clothing is hand me down, food is only the minimum, always homemade, and every penny is accounted for. There are all kinds of poor people out there, some of them are poor in judgment, some are poor in intelligence, some are poor in actual money and others are poor in their attitudes.
The feeling of having money in the bank to fall back on has to outweigh today's desires and purchases.
If there is no desire or need to gain independence, and in the back of their minds they think " Someone will provide" then maybe someone will.... but maybe someone won't.....
Who wants to live like that?
Today there are people that quietly assist those struggling, to teach them how to get out of debt and how to live responsibly and honestly. Instead of giving them tzedaka, they are teaching them how to manage with what they have. These individuals and organizations exist in Brooklyn and in EY for the past few years. They have helped many people get out of debt and begin saving.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 28 2011, 11:30 am

amother wrote:

Dental problems can be life-threatening if not treated on time. Please find the money to treat your kids now. Borrow if you have to. It will be much cheaper now than it will be in a few months' time if the teeth are left to rot.

Do your children's schools realize that you're giving up basic medical care in order to pay tuition?

If tuition is income-based, do you have an idea why the school thinks your income should be enough to live off of and pay full tuition when in fact you can't afford the basics?

life'sgreat

Tue, Jun 28 2011, 2:41 pm

amother wrote:

life'sgreat wrote:

amother wrote:

People with self esteem save first, then decide if what they want to spend $ on, is a need or a want.

Where does self esteem come into the picture? Confused

I agree with your overall post, but don't agree that it boils down to self esteem, or lack thereof.

Ruchel

Thu, Jun 30 2011, 5:07 am

My parents hardly saved. When salary went bigger so did spending. What happened to be left on account was spent on yearly big vacation. Except the year I got married, then it was spent on their share of the wedding.

My mom's firm closed. The big luck: she got money for working there like 20 yrs, she had a great salary so she has great jobless allowance, and BH my dad insisted they BUY not rent and they finished to pay the house.

As a teen I remember telling them SAVE! But they wanted me to enjoy.

We do save a bit monthly, like 100 eu. Dont ask me how! Lol

shoshina

Thu, Jun 30 2011, 9:26 am

I agree that the consumerist/keeping up with the Goldsteins mentality is down to self esteem. If you're buying a buggaboo instead of saving, you lack self esteem. However whether there is a mentality of saving or not to begin with varies hugely family to family.

DH and I save as much as possible-- we both max out our IRA contributions, as well as putting away at least $500/month for future needs/iyh simchas. This means I go without $500 in new clothes, I have to stay under the budget on groceries, we have to plan far in advance for vacations. That's ok-- every time I see the automatic withdrawl from my bank account I think of my future children at their weddings, bar mitzvahs, learning, etc.