Do People Save? | Imamother

amother

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 5:02 am

Please help settle a disagreement between my husband and I.

A little background: This coming year, we will have 2 more children entering school and therefore, our expenses will be rising considerably. On the other hand, we just found out that one of our side incomes, though small, is going to be terminated from this month on.

I'm nervous, but my husband said it's okay, we'll make it, we just can't put as much (or anything?) into savings each month as we always did. To me, one of the first things that need to be done upon receiving my paycheck, is take off a portion for savings. There is no one in a position to help us with bar mitzvahs and weddings, and therefore, it's up to us to be responsible NOW, when our children are young, to put money aside. Even if things get bad and we put away $10 a month, it needs to be done, no ifs ands or buts.

My husband says, nobody saves and somehow they manage. I disagree. I said of course everyone saves or at least tries to, because they know that there will be future expenses. Who can wake up when their child is engaged and begin thinking about paying for a wedding with $0 in a bank account? He didn't know, but said they do it somehow because no one saves. Just today he told me he saw a friend in shul looking very upset. When my husband asked what was wrong he said he needs to come up with X amount of money by Sunday for his daughter's wedding and he doesn't have it. That's scary!

Is it true? Is savings so foreign? My parents were very into putting money away for the future, as are my in laws. I guess my question is, do people not save these days, and just worry about an expense when it happens? If so, how on earth do they end up paying for things in the future?
Or does everyone put away money monthly off their paycheck for future expenses and/or rainy days. It's just a given.
Or, I guess a third option would be, do people at least try to save when they can, or used to save but can't in this economy and will start again when things improve?

amother

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 5:46 am

My dh and I both grew up in homes that barely made ends meet. No one saved bec there was nothing to save. They counted on cc, miracles, gifts, donations etc. My parents married off their children and sent them to school somehow.
When I have extra cash, I'll stick it into savings. When money is tight, I use it for day to day expenses.
My dh raises money for yeshiva. He hates when people tell him they have nothing to give bec they have all their income going into 5 diff saving plans.
A little bit to save every month is good. But not at the expense of suffering now.

Op, you'll be ok. Daven and the money will come from somewhere.

Anon, bec imamothers here live a very diff lifestyle and get angry when someone dares to think otherwise.

amother

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 5:58 am

for the first few years of our marriage (once dh was out of kollel and we had a steady income) we saved a lot. Once the kids got older and we have more expenses it is much harder to save.

We saved up about $50000 which we used as a downpayment on some property which we rent out. So in about 20 years we will own the house outright.

We need to get back into it though and save again!

Tamiri

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 6:12 am

OP, I think the answer depends. If you live in the US and your DH says that people aren't saving, he is probably correct in general. If people had been saving, there may have been less of a mess when the bubble burst.
If you live in Israel, then I think he is incorrect in general. I think people in Israel are inclined to put money away. A lot of people have keren hishtalmut savings, where the employer and employee contribute to a tax free fund that can be redeemed every 6 years.
Poor people with a lot of children probably can't save, no matter where they live.

suzyq

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 9:30 am

We save every month. It can be a different amount each month, because my husband's income varies, and sometimes expenses are more due to holidays and other incidentals, but whatever we have left after our bills (and thank G-d, there has always been something) gets split between retirement accounts and savings accounts. We also put pre-tax dollars into retirement accounts, so even if we had no money at the end of the month, those amounts are going in automatically and we don't even think about it.

amother

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 10:23 am

freidasima wrote:

Lots of people don't save. You know why? Because they rely on people like me saving and giving then zedoko to bail them out when the time comes.

And others dont save because they truly cant save.
Wow, someone has a big head.
You really think that people are not saving because they know that they can get tzedaka latter on? I dont. I think that life is hard and it is very hard to save a lot of the time.

lamplighter

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 10:54 am

I think you should save. It is the most fiscally responsible thing to do. What other people do or don't do wont help you when you need to make weddings etc even IF your DH is right.
I think you should look at our expenses/budget and cut something out - using that money to save. Discuss this with your DH. Of course, if there is nothing to cut and you're living on the bare minimum then there is nothing to save, right now.
Even if you stop saving for now, make sure it remains temporary and as soon as you have even the slightest increase in income or find an area to cut down in you do.

amother

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 10:56 am

amother wrote:

same amother. We do have a pension plan as well. forgot about that.

amother

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 6:43 pm

both dh and I work full time. we would love to save but it is not even an option when we live paycheck to paycheck.
not complaining, BH for what we do have.

to the person who wrote people rely on you, that is so low to say. Hashem should help you should never know what it means to call up a rav, and say: if we give maiser money we can move out on the street with our kids.

I alsways say, BH everyone is healthy, we attempt our best to bring in what we can, the rest is up to Hashem.

to op, we count our chickens before the hatch. we dont have waht to put away.

Hatzlacha, and best wishes

JAWSCIENCE

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 6:47 pm

Your husband sees a guy in shul who is upset because he has no money for his daughters wedding and this convinces him NOT to save money? Wow, this just goes to show that you can take whatever lesson you want from things because most people would be terrified of ending up like that guy and start saving.

Sometimes you cannot save - there just is no where to go in the budget. This often happens while you are working to improve your income like when you are paying tuition for professional school or investing in anew business. However those times should hopefully be kept as short as possible and you start saving as soon as you can. If your situation is not likely to change any time soon you need to rework that budget a bit because expenses are only going to go up....

As to the amother whose husband who is annoyed that people have numerous savings plans instead of giving enough to his yeshiva - once people have given their maaser with an open heart, paid their tuition etc. the rest of their money needs to be prioritized. When you have five kids it makes perfect sense to have 6 savings accounts with 'leftover' money - one for each kids wedding and seminary and college and one for retirement. Only in this way can you really say you are doing your histadlus and then wait for hashem to do the rest. If you have extra after funding the accounts gezunteh heit give it away but you can't fignore your own pending obligtions in order to support other people. Halachically you are not allowed to give away all of your money. There are some great books on hilchos tzedakah. I suggest reading them very well and speaking to a rav before criticizing people for trying to provide for their children. Now if they are not giving maaser this is questionable and you must assume they spoke to a rav about this and he guided them to put hte money in savings at this time. Who are we to judge the psak they received?

chocolate moose

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 6:52 pm

Isn't there a pisgom about people who spend more than they earn?

Anyway, you have to save. A Rainy Day always comes. It might be Tishrei or a dental situation or something to do with your house or car. But you need a cushion.

If you expenses are rising and your income is decreasing, be proactive. We have a lot of threads here about keeping to a budget; check them out.

ElTam

Fri, Jun 24 2011, 6:54 pm

Retirement savings is non-negotiable. We save a small amount each month on top of that, and any "windfall" money (check for a birthday present, etc.) goes to savings. It has definitely declined over the years, but it still remains a priority. Even if it isn't enough for all the needs that will come in the future, it's still something.

For those living paycheck to paycheck...take a hard look at what you are spending on. There is usually something you can eliminate to put into savings instead.

amother

Sat, Jun 25 2011, 5:47 am

I actually agree with the op's husband. Hashem does not want His children to be so obsessed with money.Being so incredibly frugal as some people here borders on avoidah zara even though they try to pass it off as a mitzvah. Do your bit and Hashem will provide. Hashem does not expect His daughters to make their own hygiene products -this is taking us back to the middle ages! Don't squander but enjoy sharing what you have with others and He will see to our needs.