Stinky 9 days | Imamother

miriamnechama

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:11 pm

I'm not sure if this is an issue of shalom bayis which I'm sure that
1 the rov will allow it and
2 he would be obligated to shower if it disturbed a spouse to such an extent.

my dh insists that I take a good shower every night hot with soap. it makes him feel good, so I do it.

shalhevet

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:30 pm

miriamnechama wrote:

I wouldn't be so sure what a rav will and won't pasken unless you ask. A rav will listen to the reason for shalom bayis and give his answer, which may or may not be what you expect it to be.

What difference does it make to your husband, what temperature the water is that you use?

greenfire

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:34 pm

do you think the odor will dissipate before I get to new york ... or should I bring nose plugs ... Twisted Evil

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:34 pm

Quote:

it makes him feel good, so I do it.

In the 9 days you are supposed to at least try NOT to feel good all the time.
If it makes him 'feel good' to eat meat, would you do that too?

Did he ask a rav?

Marion

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:41 pm

The halacha is that one doesn't bathe FOR PLEASURE. If, however, one needs to bathe for cleanliness/hygiene/health, there is no reason not to. Just don't stand under the shower stream for 20 minutes while the hot water tank empties! Certainly if it becomes offensive to others...

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:45 pm

My husband cannot wash from the shabbes before tisha be av to tisha be av. Depending on the year, it is long or not. Those who complain about 9 days, what would you say if he kept the 3 weeks??? my dh's rav does. Maybe the smell stays inside if he wears many layers? or maybe it's natural bc?

miriamnechama

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:52 pm

shalhevet and amother obviously it's sholom bayis issues by us so it's a necessity. forget the feel good, I mistakenly put that in. I meant for shalon bayis reasons.

shalhevet

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:56 pm

miriamnechama wrote:

shalhevet and amother obviously it's sholom bayis issues by us so it's a necessity. forget the feel good, I mistakenly put that in. I meant for shalon bayis reasons.

I still am completely lost why you think it's obvious and a necessity. If you feel shalom bayis is in conflict with the halacha, you need to ask a rav and not decide for yourself.

If your husband asked you to make chicken burgers with melted cheese on top, would you do it for shalom bayis?

chocolate moose

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 2:18 pm

Ruchel wrote:

why can't he wash lekovod shabbos? maybe you are just thinking about the week of tisha b'av.

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 2:23 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

why can't he wash lekovod shabbos? maybe you are just thinking about the week of tisha b'av.

How to explain... he washes on the shabbes before tisha beav, then no washing. He doesn't go unwashed on shabbes, just on the days after.

miriamnechama

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 7:37 pm

shalhevet wrote:

miriamnechama wrote:

shalhevet and amother obviously it's sholom bayis issues by us so it's a necessity. forget the feel good, I mistakenly put that in. I meant for shalon bayis reasons.

huh obviously he asked!!!

btw my friend told me how funny ot is that she always ends up taking a good hot bath in the 9 days.... leave you guessing...

amother

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 8:05 pm

Quote:

my dh's rav does.

are u kidding???? that is very strange. and one must bathe before shabbos at least but still that is GROSS.[/list]

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 22 2007, 8:20 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

my dh's rav does.

are u kidding???? that is very strange. and one must bathe before shabbos at least but still that is GROSS.[/list]

he told dh he does, and dh told me you can smell he really does shock