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| miriamnechama |
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Platinum Member


Joined: May 19 2007 Age: 34 Posts: 6926 Location: Somewhere far far away!!!!
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:11 pm Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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I'm not sure if this is an issue of shalom bayis which I'm sure that
1 the rov will allow it and
2 he would be obligated to shower if it disturbed a spouse to such an extent.
my dh insists that I take a good shower every night hot with soap. it makes him feel good, so I do it.
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| shalhevet |
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Joined: Jan 23 2006 Posts: 19775 Location: Israel
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:30 pm Post subject: Re: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| miriamnechama wrote: | I'm not sure if this is an issue of shalom bayis which I'm sure that
1 the rov will allow it and
2 he would be obligated to shower if it disturbed a spouse to such an extent.
my dh insists that I take a good shower every night hot with soap. it makes him feel good, so I do it. |
I wouldn't be so sure what a rav will and won't pasken unless you ask. A rav will listen to the reason for shalom bayis and give his answer, which may or may not be what you expect it to be.
What difference does it make to your husband, what temperature the water is that you use?
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| greenfire |
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Joined: Nov 25 2006 Posts: 39576 Location: it's not easy being GREEN
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:34 pm Post subject: |
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do you think the odor will dissipate before I get to new york ... or should I bring nose plugs ...
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| amother |
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Amother


Joined: Aug 08 2004 Posts: 6128423 Location: You cannot PM me. It wont go through.
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:34 pm Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| Quote: | | it makes him feel good, so I do it. |
In the 9 days you are supposed to at least try NOT to feel good all the time.
If it makes him 'feel good' to eat meat, would you do that too?
Did he ask a rav?
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| Marion |
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Joined: Jul 14 2006 Posts: 13873 Location: Ma'ale Adumim
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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The halacha is that one doesn't bathe FOR PLEASURE. If, however, one needs to bathe for cleanliness/hygiene/health, there is no reason not to. Just don't stand under the shower stream for 20 minutes while the hot water tank empties! Certainly if it becomes offensive to others... _________________ Emmanuel Tzvi: 26 Shevat 5766
Shai Michael: 8 Cheshvan 5768
Yitzchak Meir: 19 Iyar 5770
Dvir Aharon: 10 Tammuz 5772
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| Ruchel |
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Joined: Apr 21 2006 Age: 28 Posts: 43251 Location: Nak, Teton County
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:45 pm Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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My husband cannot wash from the shabbes before tisha be av to tisha be av. Depending on the year, it is long or not. Those who complain about 9 days, what would you say if he kept the 3 weeks??? my dh's rav does. Maybe the smell stays inside if he wears many layers? or maybe it's natural bc? _________________
"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me
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| miriamnechama |
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Joined: May 19 2007 Age: 34 Posts: 6926 Location: Somewhere far far away!!!!
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:52 pm Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| shalhevet and amother obviously it's sholom bayis issues by us so it's a necessity. forget the feel good, I mistakenly put that in. I meant for shalon bayis reasons.
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| shalhevet |
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Joined: Jan 23 2006 Posts: 19775 Location: Israel
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 1:56 pm Post subject: Re: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| miriamnechama wrote: | | shalhevet and amother obviously it's sholom bayis issues by us so it's a necessity. forget the feel good, I mistakenly put that in. I meant for shalon bayis reasons. |
I still am completely lost why you think it's obvious and a necessity. If you feel shalom bayis is in conflict with the halacha, you need to ask a rav and not decide for yourself.
If your husband asked you to make chicken burgers with melted cheese on top, would you do it for shalom bayis?
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| chocolate moose |
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Joined: Jan 01 2006 Posts: 48155
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 2:18 pm Post subject: Re: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| Ruchel wrote: | | My husband cannot wash from the shabbes before tisha be av to tisha be av. Depending on the year, it is long or not. Those who complain about 9 days, what would you say if he kept the 3 weeks??? my dh's rav does. Maybe the smell stays inside if he wears many layers? or maybe it's natural bc? |
why can't he wash lekovod shabbos? maybe you are just thinking about the week of tisha b'av.
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| Ruchel |
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Joined: Apr 21 2006 Age: 28 Posts: 43251 Location: Nak, Teton County
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 2:23 pm Post subject: Re: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| chocolate moose wrote: | | Ruchel wrote: | | My husband cannot wash from the shabbes before tisha be av to tisha be av. Depending on the year, it is long or not. Those who complain about 9 days, what would you say if he kept the 3 weeks??? my dh's rav does. Maybe the smell stays inside if he wears many layers? or maybe it's natural bc? |
why can't he wash lekovod shabbos? maybe you are just thinking about the week of tisha b'av. |
How to explain... he washes on the shabbes before tisha beav, then no washing. He doesn't go unwashed on shabbes, just on the days after.
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| miriamnechama |
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Joined: May 19 2007 Age: 34 Posts: 6926 Location: Somewhere far far away!!!!
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 7:37 pm Post subject: Re: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| shalhevet wrote: | | miriamnechama wrote: | | shalhevet and amother obviously it's sholom bayis issues by us so it's a necessity. forget the feel good, I mistakenly put that in. I meant for shalon bayis reasons. |
I still am completely lost why you think it's obvious and a necessity. If you feel shalom bayis is in conflict with the halacha, you need to ask a rav and not decide for yourself.
If your husband asked you to make chicken burgers with melted cheese on top, would you do it for shalom bayis? |
huh obviously he asked!!!
btw my friend told me how funny ot is that she always ends up taking a good hot bath in the 9 days.... leave you guessing...
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| amother |
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Amother


Joined: Aug 08 2004 Posts: 6128423 Location: You cannot PM me. It wont go through.
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 8:05 pm Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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are u kidding???? that is very strange. and one must bathe before shabbos at least but still that is GROSS.[/list]
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| Ruchel |
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Joined: Apr 21 2006 Age: 28 Posts: 43251 Location: Nak, Teton County
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Posted: Sun, Jul 22 2007, 8:20 pm Post subject: Re: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| amother wrote: |
are u kidding???? that is very strange. and one must bathe before shabbos at least but still that is GROSS.[/list] |
he told dh he does, and dh told me you can smell he really does
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| miriamnechama |
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Joined: May 19 2007 Age: 34 Posts: 6926 Location: Somewhere far far away!!!!
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Posted: Mon, Jul 23 2007, 3:20 am Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| amother... my friend was referring to the... mikva!!
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| mimsy7420 |
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Joined: Apr 03 2006 Posts: 4473
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Posted: Mon, Jul 23 2007, 9:40 pm Post subject: re: Stinky 9 days |
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| Do people really not bathe at all during the 9 days?
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