When the party isn’t fun

amother

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 4:39 pm

Holding space for all those whose parties aren’t the fun family time they ideally are supposed to be

Whether it’s singles or divorcees or those who don’t yet have kids see everyone around them have the things they wish they did

Whether it’s those with difficult children or difficult marriages, surrounded by those that seem to have children that bring them nachas and marriages to give them fulfillment

Whether it’s those who feel isolated from their family because two members x talk to each other and every party and get together is a painful reminder of that

Whether it’s those who are suffering from mental or physical illness, who find it difficult to be around people who don’t understand them but have to…

Personally, I find myself in many of these categories and I’m sure there are many more. and I’m sure there are many people that feel
so I’m holding space for you. CHanukkah doesn’t have to be fun and parties. It is beautiful in other personal intimate ways. Society has just told us that this is how we celebrate. And while we can’t physically not be at the party we were required to be at, I’m acknowledging that it may not be beautiful and the connection to Chanukah will come from somewhere else . I’m sorry.

amother

Yolk

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 5:22 pm

I once worked for a non Jewish place where I had to attend a party. I didn't expect it to be fun. I didn't know or really like my coworkers and couldn't eat anything and didn't enjoy any of the games. And you know what? I was fine with it. Sure it was a moderately uncomfortable afternoon but then I went home and had supper and was fine.

I try to tell myself that family parties can be the same way. Sometimes you just have to go and there's no reason to expect yourself to enjoy it and that's okay also.

amother

Electricblue

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 9:31 pm

I feel like parties are overrated and I’ve said this in real life to anyone with two ears- when you mother/ mil/ whoever/ hears that you won’t be by her for pesach Seder, does she flip and reschedule it for the following Tuesday or the prior motzai? No she does not, right?!? Same way, we don’t have to twist ourselves into a pretzel to make it to parties. Throw excuses like feathers in the wind because ultimately these parties are only for thin, withit, monied, well behaved, good looking people.

Go to places that make your heart soar not sore. Life is too short to eat latkas in the company of loonies.

amother

Hosta

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 3:01 am

amother Electricblue wrote:

Go to places that make your heart soar not sore. Life is too short to eat latkas in the company of loonies.

Amother Electric blue, please turn your last sentence into a fridge magnet! It will sell like hotcakes, guaranteed!