Unique Wedding Hall

amother

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 5:06 pm

Hi, is it possible to book a random non jewish hotel venue and bring in your own caterer?

Wondering why this isn't done more often. We would like to do a very scenic and different setting for our wedding and not use one of the kosher halls.

Is it possible to book a Hilton somewhere - a smaller one, and just bring your own caterer in?
Or am I missing something??

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 5:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

It can be done, and some people do it, but it does come out much more expensive.

amother

Lotus

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 5:14 pm

My inlaws live out of town with no jewish halls. All their wedding were in a hotel but yes it is very expensive and logistically it's a nightmare. Every single detail is on you and you won't even realize how much is taken care of for you by the regular halls until you are standing there missing something vital.

amother

Cyan

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 5:15 pm

Of course it is done and possible. It is a high end concept. Cost much more money and is more complicated to plan because you need everything from top to bottom. In wealthier circles you will see non Jewish venues used often wether a local hotel or island in Mexico.
There are party planners that specialize in these events

amother

Slategray ↓

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 5:20 pm

Many hotels charge you for the venue and per head non-catering charge if you don't use their caterer. Additionally if you plan to have a bar it's a huge expense - much much higher than a kosher venue. It can be done but it's very expensive.
Some municipalites have town halls or similar ideas which can be interesting venues and not as expensive but will often entail a huge amount of work for a kosher wedding.
I'd suggest you call a couple of wedding planners and ask them for options because it's doubtful you could manage such a function without a wedding planner in any case.

mathbrain

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 5:31 pm

I know many people who have done it. It’s just a logistical honey, and much much more expensive. Kitchen needs to be lathered, caterer needs to bring everything from A-to-Z with them. I was once at a wedding like this, and the caterer forgot to bring soup spoons.

Not every hall is willing to let you kasher.
Also, the non-Jewish dance floors are generally much smaller, as it’s not meant to have a divide between the men and a woman. So if you’re expecting a large crowd, it becomes squishy.

oohlala

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 6:56 pm

Some details you or a wedding planner will have to remember if it’s not in a frum hall: candles for walking down, the glass to step on, the plate to break, the wine and kiddush cup, there won’t be a chuppa so the party planner will need deal with it via the florist.

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 6:59 pm

The people I know who did it were millionaires. It’s also so much work. When you book a Jewish hall they run the whole thing. The hotel is on you, the set up the chuppah, proper space for dancing, if you have a mechitzah you need to deal with that too, the kashering and figuring out how to transport the food also on you…

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 7:31 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

This exactly.
I’ve been to a wedding like this. As a guest it’s lots of fun and the uniqueness of it was really enjoyable. The people who made the wedding have tons of money and hired the best party planners out there. They had an impressive crew of service people and mashgichim to bring everything they needed and make sure it was all kosher. If you’re willing to spend it can make for a very memorable simcha.
If you’re in a more average financial bracket it won’t work for you. Check out one of your boring local halls that provide a chuppa and mechitza and find out how much extra you’ll spend just to upgrade those two things and bring in your own. Then multiply that by a lot to set up an entire kosher wedding in a hall that’s not geared for that.

amother

Springgreen

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 7:38 pm

If you do want to go this route hire an event planner that has experience in this. They know what needs to be accounted for. In addition the hotels are not familiar with frum weddings. Their contract may include 350 people, but if you have guest that come for dancing they will charge extra fees for that as they clearly stated 350 people total. An event planner will know which hotels have been obnoxious to deal with and won't budget etc. Besides all the technical logistics.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 8:19 pm

For sure you can do it.
Just more expensive.

Also more work on you. Like were I got married was not setup for frum weddings snd we had to bring so much extra.
Like -

Chuppah
Kallah chair
Centerpieces
Glass for chosson to break
Tannaim plate break
Candles with holders to walk down to chuppah
Wine and kiddush cups
Mechitza
Carpet for ppl to walk down to the chuppah
Etc

Also we had to get ppl to setup the extras bec the hall didn’t do it.

amother

NeonBlue

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 10:26 pm

I made a wedding like this out of town where our choice of venue was limited. Although I live (in town), the Machatunim lived in the place we made the wedding and the kallah was living there with her grandparents. A significant portion of our family also lives in that city, so we were willing to do it there. Part of the decision to make the wedding in the other city was also to make sure elderly grandparents on both sides could attend. However, that left us with limited choices. The wedding was magnificent, but as others noted, I was intensely involved in all the logistics involving chuppah, tisch, bedeken, etc. Both sides knew the caterer very well, he was very experienced with frum weddings, and he did an outstanding job. This made things slightly easier. However, the costs were extremely high. We basically paid the hotel and also paid the caterer for the food. If you want a unique venue, be prepared to keep guest list down and to pay for infrastructure that the frum wedding halls have as part of their packages. You also may not have so many choices for caterers, since venues often have their own lists. I've done a lot of research in this area and so I am aware of the limitations. For example, there are some country clubs or botanic gardens where you could bring in a kosher caterer, but the capacity for most is in the 200-250 range max.

amother

Whitesmoke

Thu, Dec 26 2024, 11:49 pm

My wedding was like this and so was all my siblings because I'm from OOT and it was important to my parents to do it there.

Many of my friends did this as well.

It's possible but it's a ton ton of work. And usually lots more money. I wish I had a standard wedding, I didn't love how mine came out at all and my parents spent a fortune.

But I have been to some really nice ones. I would look for a location that's more like a club or wedding venue specifically, not a hotel which tend to be way more expensive and difficult to work with. Some of these venues are beautiful with unique decor included but may be on the small side for a typical frum wedding.

Mazal tov!

essie14

Yesterday at 3:01 am

I have a wealthy relative who makes super unique simchas.
They hire multiple party planners to take care of all the details.

Their child's wedding was in a venue that had never done a kosher event. It was beautiful and super fun to attend as a guest, but I don't even want to think of all the logistics that had to be taken care of, and the $$$.