12m old development - concern?

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 6:58 pm

Do any of these things sound like a concern to you? I feel like it all can be age appropriate but then again I thought shed have more personality and be able to be less babyish....

doesnt understand following most directions
doesnt speak one word but communicates somewhat - holding out hand if she wants something or complaining that she wants to get out of the highchair. she does babble.
doesnt know how to play - can jump from one toy to the next, clap toys together, shake them, empty and put back...
doesnt pretend play at all tho I recently noticed her hug a baby doll
cant stack blocks or doesnt understand what I want when I tried to teach her
answers to any name not just her own
at rest she sticks her tongue out a little
doesnt understand no
no sense of humor

BUT

she smiles and makes eye contact
shes crawling and cruising
she feeds herself mostly
she can find an object if I put it behind me
she holds a toy close if another baby wants it but if the baby does end up taking it from her she doesnt care much

amother

Lemonlime

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:07 pm

Is this your first?
All of this is well in the range of normal for a 12 month old baby
Were your other kids more advanced? Pretend play is waaay down the line

amother

Ultramarine ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:10 pm

Sounds completely normal except the tongue out at rest -- I'd want to address that at some point, it's extremely important to have proper tongue posture and breathe from their nose with their mouth closed.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:15 pm

amother Lemonlime wrote:

Is this your first?
All of this is well in the range of normal for a 12 month old baby
Were your other kids more advanced? Pretend play is waaay down the line

not my first and my other kids dont seem more advanced....
im also watching other babys around her age and theyre taking a car and pretending its driving, putting a baby doll in a carriage and walking with it....and mine is just sitting and watching

the other babys can also literally fight over a toy. she doesnt at all

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:15 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

what can it be and what do you do about it?

Rachel Shira

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:16 pm

Sounds mostly normal. The only ones that jump out at me as possibly slightly concerning are

answers to any name not just her own
at rest she sticks her tongue out a little
doesnt understand no
no sense of humor

I’m interested to see what other people think. I definitely wouldn’t be too concerned at 12 months.

amother

Teal

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:19 pm

Wow that all sounds totally normal, I have no larger expectations for my 12 month old.
Like pretend play? That's a serious aspiration, he's barely learning how to play with toys altogether and to just be satisfied on the floor on his own without.
Needless to say, I know he's delayed in other areas like movement etc but playwise this is totally normal

amother

Blonde ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:20 pm

Where did you even get the idea that a 12 month old should be doing all the things on your first list? If anyone did I would consider them super advanced.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:20 pm

amother Teal wrote:

I guess im just comparing her to other babys her age that I see....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:21 pm

amother Blonde wrote:

Where did you even get the idea that a 12 month old should be doing all the things on your first list? If anyone did I would consider them super advanced.

no where just from other babys I see that are her age

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

What does around her age mean? Every month makes a difference at that age.

Also, there really is a normal range. I don’t understand what you mean about your other kids… if they weren’t more advanced than her, why are you concerned?

amother

Daphne

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:26 pm

Not concerning at all and very normal. I’d think you’re a first time mom, though you said you aren’t. The same way some babies walk at 9 months and some at 18 at this age we can’t compare.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:28 pm

amother Fuchsia wrote:

a month or two older. they are playing with dolls and mentchies...

my kids now are not advanced but at that age they were playing much better...

amother

↑ Blonde ↓

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:31 pm

My baby is 15 months and goes to a babysitter with one kid a drop older and one a little younger. Of the 3 I think mine is the most advanced and I don't think he did any of those things at 12 months. He said his first word around then but didn't really come up with more until recently. He looked up for his name but would also look up if you call some other name in a calling tone. He would roll toy cars back and forth but not because he knows what a car is to pretend with, just because wheels are nice and rolly and also we showed him how.

As others said the tongue thing sounds a little off. And I'm not sure what you mean by no sense of humor. Does she never laugh? Does she respond to peekaboo? Not sure what you mean. But overall this sounds like you're looking for her to be ahead of the curve and worrying that she's not.

amother

DarkViolet

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:37 pm

At this age it’s 50/50. Meaning it can signal a delay, or it’s totally normal and she will start doing all the things you mentioned within the next few months. Some of the things you wrote I wouldn’t expect a 12 month old to do. You need to give it some more time. You can also bring up your concerns with the pediatrician

amother

Nasturtium

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 7:44 pm

There is a range for everything. One child was borderline delayed as a baby and was significantly delayed as a toddler and preschooler. I got him services at 3. He still gets services at 8 but had made a lot of progress and is mainstream. My youngest is within range since day one for almost everything. Most kids and adults struggle with something. I would have a speech evaluation based on what you wrote and you might get some special instruction too but it depends on how your child performs and the evaluator herself. My son was an easy and fun kid but did horribly when evaluated so he got the full works. When he was reassessed at turning 5 she was very impressed with him after only 2 years of intervention. But getting help during the earlier years sometimes means they don't need past 3 or 4.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 8:42 pm

thanks everyone! Just most 12m old ive seen werent like she is. Most do pretend play to a certain extent with the intention of doing pretend play. Most had a sense of humor where they found things funny. Most knew how to read a book and turn the pages.
But glad to hear its all in the normal range

amother

↑ Blonde

Sun, Nov 10 2024, 8:53 pm

I just want to add one last point. It's true your expectations seem high and it's true that everything you mention is within normal range. But that doesn't mean anyone here can assure you your kid is going to be fine - even babies who develop amazingly can come up with issues over time. And it's entirely possible that you're having a mother's intuition thing. So yes I think you should relax and enjoy your baby just being a baby, but also keep your eyes open and don't let anyone get too deep in your head that you start silencing your own voice.

Hatzlacha and lots of nachas!