Pretty or skinny | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Today at 4:28 pm

What’s more important to you?

For yourself? When looking for a shidduch for your child?

I know we’re not all vain, but what’s “more” important …

amother

Jean ↓

Today at 4:29 pm

ETA it’s ridiculous to have this even be a question. Everyone has their own concept of beauty. It’s not “if” / “or”

amother

Mistyrose

Today at 4:33 pm

I'm pretty and not skinny, never was.
I loathe myself every day.
I wonder if I'd be thin and not pretty if I'd like myself better. who knows?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 4:37 pm

amother

Amber ↓

Today at 4:38 pm

I don't understand the obsession with skinny
I do care about pretty features
But beauty is more than skin deep
People can have chein and a beautiful personality
And don't we love our family even if they aren't models

amother

↑ Amber

Today at 4:39 pm

amother Mistyrose wrote:

I'm pretty and not skinny, never was.
I loathe myself every day.
I wonder if I'd be thin and not pretty if I'd like myself better. who knows?

That's so sad
Please dont

amother

↑ Jean ↓

Today at 4:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sorry to all the plus girls reading this. There is too much wack on the internet. Speaking as a thin girl this comment was rude. This whole thread is disturbing. As Jewish ladies we can do more by not being so focused on weight and looks. And P.S. yes it’s mainly all in our heads and we need to work on accepting and loving ourselves and the truth is that men actually love ALL sizes and looks
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

amother

Catmint ↓

Today at 4:53 pm

[quote="amother OP"]I’m pretty and not skinny, would be very bothered if I’m not pretty, I’m working on my weight…

For shidduchim I believe that a girl being pretty will be important to me. Reg and a bit larger would be okay.[/

Shouldn’t it be ur son one day who decides what’s important to him? Why would you get to decide what he’s looking for?

amother

Saddlebrown ↓

Today at 4:59 pm

Wtheck. BH I don't care about either and only that the girl will be a good wife to my son's and that she has good middos. Yuck.

doodlesmom

Today at 5:01 pm

amother Vanilla wrote:

What does not skinny mean?

I doubt ppl look at 400 lb person and said she’s so pretty..

I wish we would only call a person “ not skinny” if they weighed 400 lbs.

A girl weighing 200 lbs can be gorgeous, carry her weight well, attractive etc….

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 5:05 pm

[quote="amother Catmint"]

amother OP wrote:

I’m pretty and not skinny, would be very bothered if I’m not pretty, I’m working on my weight…

For shidduchim I believe that a girl being pretty will be important to me. Reg and a bit larger would be okay.[/

Shouldn’t it be ur son one day who decides what’s important to him? Why would you get to decide what he’s looking for?

While I will have a say in who he meets, the last word is his.
A great girl that’s really not pretty will bother me…I’m sorry. I might continue the shidduch anyway, but it will bother.
A girl being a size 14-16 will not bother me. I know it will bother many other mechatenistes.
And that’s where I realized what I am more into between the 2.

amother

Jetblack ↓

Today at 5:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why would you be looking for a girl in shidduchim??

amother

↑ Vanilla

Today at 5:17 pm

doodlesmom wrote:

I wish we would only call a person “ not skinny” if they weighed 400 lbs.

A girl weighing 200 lbs can be gorgeous, carry her weight well, attractive etc….

200 Lbs on a 5 ft girl is considered morbidly obese…

Chayalle

Today at 5:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wait, are you a guy?

amother

Offwhite

Today at 5:21 pm

amother Amber wrote:

That's so sad
Please dont

I feel her. I was obese and I hated myself. Worked super super hard and lost a lot of weight bH. (still overweight, but just barely)
Tbh I can face myself more now. But I'm still not happy with my size yet. I wonder if I'll ever reach that magical number that will make me happy.
People like to preach about accepting your body and I think it's great, for you. I don't like myself fat, I don't think it's nice to have 3 chins, and I never will.
A big change is that I can finally be in a picture and be okay with it. I used to have to take it at a certain angle so you couldn't see my chins (selfie looking upward). Just recently my husband snapped a pic and I was in it. And for the first time I was ok with it.

To answer OP, I think those people looking for a size 0 are looking for a head-turner face to match IMO

amother

Blueberry

Today at 5:24 pm

Neither is that important to me. I wouldn't want to be extremely strange looking, where strangers stop to stare. But I am happy with what I believe is a rather plain average face.

As for skinny, I prefer to be slimmer and have been for much of my life. But I have also been overweight, including now, and it isn't something that impacts my happiness. I'd like to both lose weight and exercise more, and I will do it eventually, but in the meantime I'm not losing sleep over it. When I was a teen though, I would have cared a lot more.