How do you cope with girls?

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:29 am

At first I had my boys and life was easy. A pile of tops, a pile of pants, and a bin for kippas and tzitzis. Socks in their drawer. Another drawer for their junk prizes, and all was good.

But now that my 3 little ones are girls, I feel like drowning. Dresses need to fit right, always buying more tights, always tearing them, so much junk, dresses don't match, dresses they refuse to wear, (new) dresses they refuse to try on.....and on and on.

And this is only now. I am dreading when they will be teenagers...!

Any girls mom have good tips for me?

How do I keep their room nice?
How do you get them to try on clothing?
How do you shop economically?
How do you manage with so much tights? (My circles they need to wear tights)
How do you make choices when shopping? There are too many...

I barely bought them summer stuff, and now I need to move on to winter. I literally am avoiding it.
I already eliminated bows and headbands. They are cute as is and I like simple and neat. The stores make me dizzy, and online, I barely have time for. And it needs to fit right.

imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 12:58 am

Are they short and chubby, or tall and lean, pr regular? Some brands cater to different kids. French brands are usually for lean and petite. H&M is usually for taller and/or chubbier kids.
Yes certain age girls are hard to please because they already have ideas of how things should be and they are only 3.

amother

Blue

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 2:52 am

Hang Dresses, everything else in drawers. Buy tights that come with a few in a pack. Best if they're the the all same, one less thing to fight about.
I wouldn't give up on bows! They're so cheap and a small thing to make them look all dressed up! I agree headbands are annoying.
Don't have them try on clothing. Buy what you think is good, they will wear what's available.

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 3:36 am

I’m still learning the ropes… Here’s what I do these days:

I shop online from places with good return policies. When the order arrives, they try on. I go through the whole shpiel:
“do you like how it looks on you? How does it feel on your skin? Is the fit too tight/loose/baggy etc.? zipper/buttons easy to manage? Can you move easily? Does it match your existing _____? Would you actually wear this for shabbos/summer vacation/whatever…?”

If we will (most likely) keep, I put it aside neatly with tags still on and the girls think about it for another day, unless it was a super obvious success. Then I hope for the best.
If we return, I plan a Sunday shopping trip.
When you inevitably have to shop brick and mortar, wear good shoes and bring water and snacks. Smile and breathe.

As for the tights, I’m not sure I understand what is so overwhelming. I find tracking down and pairing up socks more dreadful!

Hair accessories are really nice to have. Maybe consider having a couple per kid which are easy to match, once you get your systems in order.

This response is very long. I hope it was helpful.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 3:54 am

I like to do 2 sets of matching Shabbos dresses a season. Im in EY so the 3 days are rare. Do tights for 10 yo and socks for the little girls. Matching hair accessories. They usually forgive me even if they dont love it because they love to match.

I learned from bitter experience that matching pajamas are super annoying. Trying to keep track whose are whose. They are different sizes but gets confusing. I got 4, 6 and 12.

Socks, ideally each kid gets a different color or style.

Do not match shoes. At least weekday. Gives me such a headache.

The matching stuff also makes dh go crazy!!!

I like basic cotton dresses from Next for my little girls and for the older 2 cheaper frum stores.

I also love handmedowns and gemachs whenever possible.

amother

Crystal

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 4:11 am

Following! I'm having a rough time getting shabbos/yom tov clothes! My oldest has gotten picky about sensory stuff (more likely with fancy stuff because of material and style) and if I don't catch her in the right mood to try on stuff then I can't even tell if stuff is good. So frustrating! I've given up on Shein for now because they made returns harder and I'm only buying stuff that can be easily returned. Also I bought her undershirts and I'm encouraging her to wear those under dresses that might be uncomfortable without one.

For shoes I bought expensive ones at a shoe store just because I didn't want to deal with ordering and returning any more, and I wanted to make sure she had comfy shabbos shoes, and BH that worked out.

I think I imagined dressing them would be fun but even my 4 year old has strong opinions about what she wears! It's so tricky!

amother

Viola

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 4:37 am

I have very girly girls and we do it all together.

For shabbos clothes, I buy from Ali specials and I know how their sizings run so that works out. I show my girls a few of the ones that I like and together we decide which ones they all like and we order those.
Similar for weekday, I shop online in Tottini. Reliable sizings, I show them everything I've picked out and together we decide.

(If they won't try something on, I measure it against a dress that fits them well and figure it out.)

Tights - I get cheap plain black tights from Primark and I buy tons at the beginning of the season and I generally still need to restock halfway through!

Also, look on Ali or Shein for packs of 20 or 40 bows for very cheap. Guaranteed to match the clothes! I don't do hairbands, but a bow really finishes off the look.

Good luck!

amother

Aconite

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 5:28 am

I got this and hang it on the closet door for hair accessories, keeps everything organized
https://www.temu.com/il-en/lar.....6vm3c

I buy Tottini for girls without uniforms, the rest I have 3 weekday dresses, 1 shabbos robe, and 3 shabbos dresses. I like dresses because its one piece, you don't need this to match with that.
3 additional sweaters for cold days, and a shabbos cardigan for the in between days (you need something but not a full coat).

Weekday is always Tottini - I put what I like into the cart and let them choose from there. Shabbos robe is also always from Tottini. I try as much as possible to stick to things that go with black/grey/navy (for uniform) tights, and I get half black and half grey.
I do different patterns for each girl on the tights so its easy to see who's is who's

Dresses hang and stay organized. I am in israel so we have shelving in our wardrobes, and I have a tights/ socks/underwear organizer on the shelf. Each kid has a different colored box with there name on it.
https://www.temu.com/il-en/1-g.....7178z

If u have a standard american closet, you can get drawers or shelving for the bottom of the closet for the organizers.

Shabbos is harder, but I do online shopping ( ali and temu) then they get to choose from the cart. I know what styles tend to look good on them, and its works.

Teenagers is a different story - that is just hours and hours of shopping unfortunately.....

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 9:41 am

amother cornflower wrote:

Tights I buy on Shein
Clothes I buy on Shein
Shoes I buy on Shein
If it looks cute I don't get picky about fit - they're little girls.

I used to buy on shein, but got tired of it. Materials were cheap, and shoes lasted a short time. I felt I was always shopping again for another thing.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 9:45 am

amother Blue wrote:

I don't usually try on, only for Shabbos.
And they usually make a fuss on anything I get without asking, refuse to wear a dress they decided not to. And it's money down the drain.

They're really little. Oldest is almost 7, but she was like that since 3

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 9:47 am

amother OP wrote:

Sit and scroll through websites together.
Then order what they like.

Buy multipacks of tights in neutral colors: black grey beige ecru pale pink. They go with everything.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 9:58 am

imaima wrote:

Sit and scroll through websites together.
Then order what they like.

Buy multipacks of tights in neutral colors: black grey beige ecru pale pink. They go with everything.

They won't have patience looking on a screen and once they get it they can decide they won't wear it. Returning is such a hassle. I sometimes tell them they have no choice, so they miserably put it on...

They dont ever wear ecru or pink tights.

↑ imaima ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 9:59 am

amother OP wrote:

Why not? Personal preference. Not real pink, very pale pink.

honey36

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 10:07 am

Yup it's crazy! I took DD 7 to the store this past summer to get summer clothes. She tried the clothes on, agreed she liked them and she would wear them, spent $$, and then she only wanted to wear one old dress from her older sister every day Surprised

all her new clothes sat in the closet.

Anyways the clothes were getting out of hand so we ordered a custom dresser from Ikea (pax) with shelves at the top and the wire/ mesh drawers at bottom. It's tall so each girl gets her own shelf for folded stuff (sweaters, leggings, pajamas) and her own wire/mesh drawer (underwear, tights, socks). All skirts and dresses are hung in the closet.

I agree- tights are actually the hardest to keep track of. Some last from the bigger girls but that actually makes it more complicated because sometimes the matching dress they don't like so you have random tights sitting in the closet. Or you order a new dress and not sure if you already have matching tights somewhere so you need to search through a whole pile, make sure their the right size... Drives me nuts.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 10:14 am

amother OP wrote:

I just had to laugh because it sounds like the book "Messes of Dresses". It was a favorite in our house, my kids knew it by heart, even the two year old.

But on a serious note, I feel the pain. My girls are now teens and I'm really struggling to find them clothes that they like.