Nursery in Boro Park - another toileting thread

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 10:21 am

I have a 3 year old DD who refuses to toilet train. (She will go in the potty/toilet home, but not under any circumstances at school.) Her current school says if she isn't fully trained soon, she will have to leave.

Are there any schools available for children who aren't trained yet? My daughter can't be the only one. (She fully understands, and could do it, but she doesn't want to, no matter what incentives I offer. I can't exactly force her.)

Of course I'm hoping she will be willing to try toileting in school, but I need to be prepared with an alternative if she is still in diapers in another few weeks.

amother

DarkPurple ↓

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 10:29 am

Is she typically developing in other areas? Does she want to go to school? Can you explain to her that this is what she has to do if she wants to go to school? There are probably playgroups for her age depending on her birthday.

amother

Cinnamon

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 11:46 am

Your definitely not the only one. Not all neurotypical children are developmentally fully ready for total toilet training at 3. It is very sad that this issue is forced in our circles including for children much younger. Many children hold it all day, slowly tinkle throughout the day, have wet accidents often but nobody notices (in playground only panties wet wearing socks so not so obvious) or don't have #2 accidents in school. None of these options are safe or healthy physically or emotionally for the young child.
But those children who don't make their lack of toilet training skills obvious don't get into "trouble".
I did have a school that asked me to come daily at bathroom time to take dear child to bathroom and not leave until mission was successful. It was a pain in the neck. Messed up my work schedule for a while and I think singled out child making them different but bh after a few weeks child was ok with the school bathroom

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Sep 16 2024, 3:30 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

Yes, bh she is developing typically in other areas. She is not neurodivergent as far as I can tell (I have those kids too). For some reason she just doesn't want to train yet, especially in school. I don't want to out myself with too many identifying details, but she is just 3, not 3 1/2.

No I cannot explain that this is what's necessary for school. She just cries that she wants to stay home. I work (out of necessity) so that's not an option.

amother

Molasses

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 9:56 pm

I’m going through something very similar with my daughter in nursery. No school will take an untrained child, the only option would be playgroup. I discussed with her teachers that she has no problems at home, she’s just scared of the new environment in school and we decided to do pull-ups until after sukkos to give her enough time to adjust. It’s kind of like a compromise because if she have an accident, there isn’t much to clean, but they’re easy to put on and take off like underwear so she can go to the bathroom if she does decide to go.