S/o if you made a covid wedding

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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

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Boca00 ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:31 pm

Yes I'm spinning off my own post.. If you made a covid wedding, what did it cost? What was included?

e1234

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 2:31 am

it didn't cost me so much less
the hall cancelled the day before (as it was unknown until if it was permitted or not)

we went to a roof of a shul but we had it decorated and rented the chuppah and kallah chair and it all added up. Was less then my other chasunahs but not so much.

amother

Moonstone ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 7:56 am

Covid style wedding isn't something to look forward to

It's more like driving from New York to Florida and eating tuna sandwiches lunch at a nice rest stop.

tweety1

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:54 am

My sibling had a covid wedding. While it wasn't ideal we all still say it was the nicest wedding of any other sibling.

shabbatiscoming ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:56 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

Covid style wedding isn't something to look forward to

It's more like driving from New York to Florida and eating tuna sandwiches lunch at a nice rest stop.

Huh? What does this mean?

Chloe22

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 9:52 am

Was very limited in the amount of people attending. Just had a ceremony but had grab and go food. Paid for shul, Rabbi, grab and go food, photographer, DJ for music for chuppah

amother

↑ Moonstone

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 10:57 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Huh? What does this mean?

It's a b'deved of a b'deved to have a covid wedding.

Sort of like, when you're forced to eat lunch in at a very nice rest stop

↑ shabbatiscoming

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:26 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

It's a b'deved of a b'deved to have a covid wedding.

Sort of like, when you're forced to eat lunch in at a very nice rest stop

But the idea of a small simple wedding should be seen as a bad thing.

↑ Boca00

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:29 am

My sister in law had a stunning Covid wedding in a gorgeous, large backyard. I don’t think it was bdieved, it was a dream wedding.

Last edited by Boca00 on Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:29 am; edited 1 time in total

Success10

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:29 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

It's a b'deved of a b'deved to have a covid wedding.

Sort of like, when you're forced to eat lunch in at a very nice rest stop

I think going into heart-palpitation inducing debt and draining all the community's tzedaka resources is a bedieved of a bedieved.

Tiredmom3

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:30 am

There's a difference between simple and not being able to have your friends and family clebrate with you.

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:31 am

Boca00 wrote:

My sister in law had a stunning Covid wedding in a gorgeous, large backyard. I don’t think it was bdieved, it was a dream wedding.

I'm the one who mentioned covid wedding first on your other thread. This is what I was picturing. A beautiful backyard affair.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:40 am

My sil had a stunning COVID wedding.
It was perfect for them, both their second wedding with no kids so they were happy they have a story for their kids of why the wedding was small.
It was very fancy on a rooftop and just immediate family and close friends, I'm sure it saved them money from a regular big wedding but don't think a lot.

miami85

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:50 am

I think in general the hashkafa in Judaism is that we spend on things that are important to us to show the value it has in our lives.

My niece had a beautiful Covid wedding on a shul campus. The chuppah was beautiful and built just for that day, she got to Zoom in with all her friends and relatives that couldn't be there. But you can tell she missed out on the "grand entrance" the being danced around after the chuppah, dancing with friends and extended family (I was allowed to be there, but I was the videographer). There was a certain "lacking element" even though it was a beautiful wedding.

Diving head-first into marriage with a mostly unknown male for what you hope will be the rest of your life is very daunting for some girls/women. By making a wedding "chashuv" it gives the wedding a stamp of approval and the whole s'viva gives the endorsement of your wedding and future.

It's wise not to go too above and beyond your means, but at the same time look at what you spend on for pesach seder items--we make our table look like a kingly affair for 1-2 nights (EY vs Chu"l), thus your wedding should reflect what your means are. I went to some weddings that were a bit over-the-top gorgeous (though I know the families could afford it) and I also went to the wedding of one of the richest Jews in America and it was a nice-yet-tasteful affair. Maybe a few extras at the shmorg from a takana affair, but nothing gaudy.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 1:06 pm

amother Moonstone wrote:

Covid style wedding isn't something to look forward to

It's more like driving from New York to Florida and eating tuna sandwiches lunch at a nice rest stop.

Never heard this expression, dont know if you just made it up!

I have not made any weddings yet, but the one time we went to florida, we drove from NY to FL and had tuna sandwiches for lunch at rest stops! Obviously I would like to fly in a private jet, many times a year and stay over in elegant 5* hotels, but my family had an excellent enjoyable time. Just like you can go to florida in multiple ways, so too weddings should come in different styles. There is no reason why everyone who can not afford it, should have to spend $100,000 or more for a wedding, just to keep up with everyone else. Weddings can be just as beautiful and even more meaningful if you cut out all the unnecessary extras.

Molly Weasley

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 2:01 pm

I’m not sure how many of you have had a COVID wedding or attended one, but having just ten men and ladies (including the photographer) at such a significant moment in your life isn’t exactly ideal.

I agree that simpler weddings should become more common, but “simple” means just that - cutting back on some of the more extravagant elements of modern weddings. For example, inviting friends and acquaintances to dancing versus the meal, using rentable flowers instead of real ones, hiring a DJ and singer rather than a live band, and so on.

P.S. I’m not knocking having tuna fish at a rest stop on the way home from Florida. We did it a few times, I know my kids loved it. But I wouldn’t choose to have a wedding there!

amother

Red

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 2:13 pm

Boca00 wrote:

My sister in law had a stunning Covid wedding in a gorgeous, large backyard. I don’t think it was bdieved, it was a dream wedding.

When was this?
Covid weddings came in multiple flavors. There were March weddings with a bare minyan of 10 people, no meal no dancing; and then there were October ones in borrowed backyards with a meal for 100 and dancing. Both covid, but completely different. The former ended up being pretty cheap but also rather dismal; the latter ended up being beautiful but also not very much cheaper than a meal for 300 in a wedding hall.

momma 17

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 2:35 pm

My sister got engaged on March 15, 2020. Her vort was that night.
2 days later everything shut down.
We didn't know until a week or two before the wedding what would happen but bh 2 days before the wedding things started opening and we had around 250 ppl in the original hall my parents booked.

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