This year it will be different!

amother

Candycane

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 4:50 pm

I watched this and was ugly crying in my kitchen, thinking of my ADHD 11 year old with no academic issues, but significant social and behavior issues.

There’s increasing sympathy and support for kids with reading or math troubles, but not kids who are “difficult” for no neat and “respectful” reason.

He was in public school for 4 years because neither of the local frum schools would take him, not even the frum special ed school which “didn’t have the resources for a child of his profile”. Even though their every fundraiser and banquet proudly declares that “every Jewish child deserves a Jewish education”.

We finally found a small Jewish school that took him for two years, but he was suspended for 3 weeks at the end of 5th grade because one bad day snowballed out of control when the school kept demanding apologies.

All summer I looked for a school for him, and I am currently homeschooling him. He feels so rejected and unwanted. Some people homeschool because they believe in it, and some people have no choice. It’s not good for either of us to force me into the role of both “unconditionally loving mom” and “teacher with expectations who gets to go home at the end of the day”. I’m having a baby in a few months and I don’t know how or if we will find a school that cherishes and nourishes his neshama.

↑ Molly Weasley

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 6:50 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

Wow. Hugs to you.

It's so interesting how this song resonates with a lot of people for different reasons.

amother

Peony

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 7:16 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!

Be"H this year will be different! (Maybe reach out to Torah Umesorah? The song is advertising their services, maybe they can help?)

amother

Lemonlime

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 10:06 pm

amother Candycane wrote:

There is a school in Philadelphia called TIDE. I think they work with these type of kids.

Also... I had 2 very difficult ADHD son's who we ended up medicating because it was that or move to a farm which we couldn't do because we needed parnash and we had other children. Sometimes you need to medicate because you don't have the ideal setting for them unfortunately. Medication changed our lives b"h.

amother

NeonBlue

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 11:28 pm

I teared u while watching since it felt like it was made for me! my two children had a very difficult past year (preschool age ) unfortunately it seemed like the teachers where burnt out and my children are challenging . I would come to pick them up and hear about problems. my older one would cry and put up a fight when she was brought to school. I can't explain the amount of worry and calls that filled up my head! b"h Hashem blessed us this year with daycare arrangement for both that are absolutely amazing anyone who I tell will rave about their teachers and it is such a nechama!
I pick up my kids and only hear positive! the teachers know how to find the good in them. for example my daughter had a hard day it seemed from what I got out of her that she was having a hard time controlling herself and she was acting wild (she even said that no one got upset with her) but instead of getting a terrible report the teacher had told me with a smile that she has simchas hachaim!!! THANK YOU HASHEM!
I am just hoping and praying that this will continue and that this year will be different!