Do you tag (put controls) you post seminary girl computer

amother

Cappuccino

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

She just came back from seminary We got her a new computer for her online studies

If she's in your house, yes. If she's living independently, probably still yes.

But depending on what she needs it for, different types of controls will be ideal, so that would be something to figure out together with her

PinkFridge ↓

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:35 pm

amother Cappuccino wrote:

I would assume that the hashkafah she's been exposed to presumes a filter, at any age and stage.

amother

Navyblue

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 11:00 pm

Yes yes so much yes !!
My married sister and BIL moved into my parents house temporarily and my younger brother got a hold of one of her unfiltered devices and searched up all sorts of inappropriate things… she had horrible guilt when she found the history

amother

Wine

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 11:06 pm

Mine TAG their own computers. We go together to TAG and get settled with a person and talk about the needs and wants she has- both personality and career needs, etc. I give over the musts for our household, what the adults have. We talk about pricing for different things, since we pay. They choose whether they want me or the TAG person to be the contact to unblock things. And then I go and they take care of it.

amother

Gray

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 11:06 pm

I would think of your values. This is your last opportunity to give her chinuch regarding technology.

How would you want her to handle a filter on her computer in a few years if she's living on her own or married? Now's the time to show her what you believe.

amother

Indigo

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 11:10 pm

Discuss it with her. I assume you’re raising her such that you’d hope she would want a filter on her own. She is old enough to make that decision for herself, and you can help her.

amother

Mulberry ↓

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:04 am

amother OP wrote:

What type of filter and who controls it

My post sem daughter has Gentech and she has full power to request approval for sites.

amother

Ebony ↓

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:19 am

This is a very important topic. 100% she must have a filter. It’s your house, your standards, you just spent loads of $$$ on sem to help her grow…she’s absolutely not ready to make a decision that she doesn’t need a filter. Everyone needs a filter, esp a newly minted sem girl.

She might tell you she’s independent, old enough to make her own decisions, etc which she’s right about, to an extent. But not with technology, that’s not negotiable. Be firm, be loving, stand your ground. You will
be grateful after

amother

↑ Mulberry

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:23 am

amother Ebony wrote:

With my kids it wasn't a matter of maturity, it was that this was how we do things, and she was used to it even before she left and used the family computer.

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:26 am

Is she opposed? If she doesn't want to go through TAG for whatever reason, you could consider a non-Jewish filter as a compromise option.

notshanarishona

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:30 am

Personally I would start treating her like an adult. I would explain why I encourage it and let her make the choice.
If she is old enough to start dating she is old enough to make decisions.

the world's best mom

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 12:23 pm

The same way I would buy her only kosher food even though she's an adult, I would only give her a filtered computer. Even adults have to watch what they eat and what they see.

amother

Azalea

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 2:41 pm

If she went thru the Bais yaakov system, she had technology classes in high school and learned that unfiltered internet is assur. Go together to tag and tell them her needs for school etc, they will tell you all the options.

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 2:59 pm

I live in a filter free house. My daughter came home from sem and put filters on all her devices. If she didn't, I can't imagine telling her to do so. What are you afraid your daughter will do without a filter?

amother

Freesia

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 3:26 pm

I'm sorry, I had to have all my kids flip phones tagged. And tag basically broke them. So once I know that their "tagging" doesn't break the things I buy I'll take a big pass. There are other ways to have parental controls besides tag

↑ PinkFridge

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 4:57 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

So then don't TAG. As you say, there are other filtering options.