Separation anxiety - What can I do?

amother

Mon, Aug 12 2024, 9:42 am

My 3.5 year old has extreme separation anxiety (I think that's what it's called) since always. I don't know what to do anymore. She refuses to go to DH for bed or any kind of actual care. Here and there she will play a game with him or others but when it comes to care, she only wants me. She cries when I leave the house, she completely freaked out when I went away for 2 days. She says things like "oh your back" with relief in her voice when I come back from an errand. She gets upset when I'm in the bathroom or in my room with the door closed/locked. I don't know what to do anymore. This is crazy already. She's not a baby. In general she is very anxious. What do you do for an anxious 3 yr old?
She gets plenty of love and attention, I always warn her when I leave and remind her that I'll be back. I've tried just not being around so my DH can step in and put her to bed or give her breakfast. Nothing seems to work and this is impacting my quality of life and is hers. It's not a phase, it seems to be something more.
What can I do?
There is no known history or trauma or anything like that. She is ok to go to school and camp but is withdrawn when I'm not around. She often asks to stay home with me even though she likes school/camp. If I'm around (at a neighbor or relative) she is her usual animated self, if I'm not she's withdrawn. It's not about the other people, its about whether or not I'm there.
She's KAH very bright and has a wonderful personality but this is really inhibiting her.
Any ideas?