Feeding house guests

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 8:16 pm

We are bh having a simcha soon which a number of our relatives are coming in from out of town for.

Some are staying with us, others in basement apartments but eating by us for everything.

Getting stressed about serving 3 full meals a day while also getting ready for the simcha.

Any good ideas how to navigate this?

amother

Cappuccino

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 8:30 pm

Don't serve full meals.

Do a brunch and a supper, both buffet style. Have snacks available. Make it as much self-service as possible.

Keep food super simple - cereal, bread, bagels, etc; supper = easy meals like baked chicken or meatballs that you take out of the freezer.

Take a night off, but tell everyone in advance.

Have a long list of restaurants printed up with a bit of detail (type of food, price, address etc) and include it in the welcome bag. maybe some travelers would like to eat out.

I know what it's like to travel in for a simcha, and when a host feeds us, it is really appreciated. But we totally understand that sometimes you're busy, and it's okay to tell the guests, "I'm not making supper tonight. Please take care of yourselves." (Unless the guests are elderly - then you should feed them.)

tichellady ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 8:34 pm

That is a lot. Is there anyone in the family or friend group who would be willing to provide a meal or sponsor one at s restaurant etc? I made dinner for the night before my brother in laws bar mitzvah and my in laws good friends made the sholosh suedos etc

↑ tichellady ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 8:36 pm

amother Cappuccino wrote:

Not sure I agree with this, maybe because there isn’t really anywhere to eat out where I live. Also depends if people are staying in places where they have access to a kitchen or not. I guess it depends how long people are coming in for. I assume it’s just for the simcha weekend that you need to provide like Thursday night to Sunday etc not the whole week

↑ tichellady

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 8:38 pm

I think most Hosts are fine to give breakfast, clarify that with them. And you don’t need to host Friday lunch if there are places in your neighborhood where people can get bagels etc , just be upfront about what’s happening

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 9:06 pm

It's Thursday to Monday.

So Thursday lunch and dinner
Friday breakfast, lunch, dinner
Shabbos meals obviously
Melave malka?? (I never make this. DH makes pasta sometimes)
Sunday breakfast and lunch
Simcha is Sunday night
Monday breakfast and lunch

No other family here, we all live different places.

There are a couple restaurants, not many, but I feel bad saying they have to do that...

Also a few vegetarians and one person with celiac in the mix.

I have a 6mo who always wants to be held and I can't spend so much time in the kitchen. Usually breakfast is cereal and milk, lunch everyone fends for themselves, and dinner is super simple (with the variety of dietary needs I don't know how I'm going to make just one dinner that'll please my picky kids and the vegetarians and the GF one and the adults expecting real food not just mac and cheese etc etc etc...)

I wasn't thinking about this aspect when I invited everyone. Feeling so overwhelmed 😔

We are also mostly self catering the simcha, I am trying to do a lot of freezing in advance to make that manageable but aghh wasn't thinking about all these meals...

dena613 ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:04 pm

Why are people coming Thursday for a Sunday night simcha?

Is the event on shabbos and Sunday night? I'm thinking like an aufruf and Sunday night wedding... Yiu do NOT need to host meals for so many days!!!

↑ dena613 ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

My thoughts- majority of people shouldn't come for Thursday.

Friday put out bagels lox and cream cheese and vegetables around 11, then serve Kugel around 3.
Or only serve kugel, and tell them to go out for lunch.

They'll be with you for shabbos.

Tell them in advance that they can go out to eat for melave malka, because all you'll have is hot water for tea and some rolls to wash on. Is this a summer simcha?
If its a winter Shabbos simcha, then maybe pre make baked ziti/lasagna and freeze it and serve motzi Shannon for those who want.

Sunday, day of simcha, at most provide a brunch.
Preferably just say- our house is open for cereal and milk, tea, and coffee from 7:30-10:30 AM.
Assuming people have cars or things are walkable, give them the list of restaurants and tell them to fend for themselves. You'll see them at night.

Monday serve bagels, lox, creamcheese, veg and fruit and say somethig like brunch is from 9-11

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:28 pm

dena613 wrote:

They're all flying out. Don't want to pay for tickets just for 24 hours, want to make a visit out of it...

I had Shabbos meals in mind when I invited but wasn't thinking about all the other stuff!

amother

↑ Red ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:31 pm

Also, can you have something simple for when they arrive Thursday dinner? "There'll be thick pea soup and spaghetti in tomato sauce available from x pm to x pm".

Make sure there's plenty, use disposable everything, and toss in a plate of brownies!

amother

Glitter

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

They're all flying out. Don't want to pay for tickets just for 24 hours, want to make a visit out of it...

I had Shabbos meals in mind when I invited but wasn't thinking about all the other stuff!

If they are the ones who decided to come early then they can get their own breakfast and lunch. Especially that there are local restaurants where you live.
Friday you can do toimeha. One or two of the days you can do a brunch of Bagels, spreads, and salads. I'm not sure about Thursday night supper. Maybe do pizza?
Include which meals you will be hosting in the itinerary.

↑ dena613 ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

They're all flying out. Don't want to pay for tickets just for 24 hours, want to make a visit out of it...

Okay, they want to make a visit out of it? Let them go on daytrips. You do NOT want them all in your house all day. You only need to serve your parents and in-laws and other ancestors, not sisters and nieces and cousins etc. Let them go out for lunch.

And if there is no event on shabbos, they should not b coming in before Friday morning!!

tweety1

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:05 pm

amother Red wrote:

The first thing I'd do is scrub lunch on Thursday and Monday.

For sure. We have alot of family oot. Dh or dh and I often go. We never expect anything besides the shabbos. Never. Even melava malka is a huge bonus. None of my family even offered anything besides shabbos. If there are restaurants I'd nicely inform them of those and also grocery stores so they can buy Rice cake, tuna, vegetables etc.

imaima

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 11:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

They're all flying out. Don't want to pay for tickets just for 24 hours, want to make a visit out of it...

I had Shabbos meals in mind when I invited but wasn't thinking about all the other stuff!

I would specify that you provide Friday and Sunday brunches for weekday meals. Those who want to make a vacation out of it, can figure it out by themselves.

essie14

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 2:11 am

tweety1 wrote:

Same.
We stay in a hotel til Friday when we go away and don't expect anything from the hosts except shabbat.
Besides for parents, we don't put up our guests until Friday. They're usually in a different area until the Shabbat part of the simcha.