What to talk about?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

What to talk about?

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amother

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 7:18 am

What questions or conversations starters could help me have meaningful conversations with my kids when the come from school?
„How was your day“ seems so flat and I don’t feel like I am really reconnecting with them.
I am usually so quick to shut off and let them use devices so everyone is happy but I want to change that.

amother

Steel

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 7:57 am

Did you have fun in camp today? What activities did you do? Then continue the conversation based off the answers.

Same with school. What did you learn today? Did you enjoy learning about it?

When it comes to school or camp I often reminisce and share my own similar experiences with them and then we get to have an interesting conversation.

Often in these conversations my kids will eventually share about the fights or not such good moments in their day and I try to use that time to truly empathize and validate my kids and work through those issues with them.

mummiedearest

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 8:05 am

Ask them to list some good and bad things about their day. Categories help.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 8:09 am

What was your favorite part of the day?

amother

Ultramarine

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 11:00 am

My father used to ask us at the supper table "How was your lousy day?" We knew he was teasing and joking, but it put us at ease and we were open to discuss our day.

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 12:25 pm

Did you learn anything new today?
What was the most interesting new thing you learnt?
Did you sing songs today? What was your favourite?
Did you do a mitzvah today?
Did you help a friend today?
What was the funniest thing that happened?
Were you sad at all? Why?
What was the hardest thing you did today?
Did you do any maths/numbers?
Did you do any reading?
Did you learn any new words?
Which friends did you play with?
Did you play any new games?
Did you make something?
Did you learn about the parsha?
What did you have for lunch?
Did you read any books?
What was the most exciting thing you did?

meiravit

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 12:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Kudos to you!

I try to connect to something they told me would happen that day.

How was the trip/siyum/test/GO activity?
Did you end up doing XYZ that you said was gonna happen today?

amother

Jasmine

Mon, Jul 15 2024, 4:38 pm

I try and not fire off too many questions as I feel that shuts them down. I actually find I get the most out of my kids when I'm not trying to get them to talk. If I'm tidying the kitchen and then suddenly I find I have someone sitting there telling me about their day. Over the table at suppertime.
And they love hearing about my day or week. I might start off saying I did x today or I was so excited today because x. And then they can give their thing.
Obviously remembering something they told you is important. Although I'm not great at that.
My younger ones love it when I suggest silly things they did in school. I'll say something like so your whole class went to sleep after recess. And they giggle back and say no, after recess we did math. The older ones it's more a don't be silly mommy, and an eye roll.

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