Credit card usage vicious cycle

amother

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:52 am

Please help me stop using my credit cards. I’ve been in a cycle for years using them and then stopping, but I always have weak moments and fall back into it again.
Our income barely (doesn’t) cover our expenses although we both work hard but are new in our fields of work. I never have enough money for clothes for my kids. I can’t help it that they outgrow everything and need new. And I don’t buy name brands, I shop very cheap. We live really simply.
I’ve given most of my cards to my husband to hide but some of them are still saved in my online accounts or apple pay etc, and I can’t just go with out any. I’ve had times in the grocery store, gas station where I knew my checking account wouldn’t cover it and I would not have been able to pay without a cc.
We’ve been to financial counseling and it helped - I’ll feel very motivated after but I really think this credit card thing is an illness and I can’t get rid of it.
Please be gentle. This is a years long struggle! Any tips welcome

Eta a few details

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 10:11 am

In all honesty. it doesn't seem like you have a credit card problem - or more accurately a problem with compulsive spending.

You have a problem of your not having sufficient income to cover necessities - or what appears to be necessities like food or gas.

You may have a budgeting problem in terms of ways that you can stretch your income - e.g. can you lower your food costs or can you lower your clothing costs.

The issue with credit cards is that they are a trap because generally the interest is high and if you are charging because you can't pay for your life with your income, you wind up making only minimum payments which means the debt gets larger and the interest gets larger so that you are paying off only interest at some point and continuing to charge until you have reached your credit limit on a card.

amother

Seablue

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 11:12 am

amother OP wrote:

so any tips?
I know I need therapy. For many reasons. But if it’s not already obvious I have zero budget for it and there are no good clinic options where I live.

Ok, you wrote that part of the problem is compulsive spending, but then you deleted that. Your original poat doesn't mention anything about compulsive spending, only paying for very basic necessities with there's not enough money in your account to cover it.

You say you need therapy. Are these other types of purchases you're making woth your credit cars beyond what you wrote in your first post? Because it sounds liek there might be a deeper problem here that your are hesitant to address.

amother

Chocolate

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 12:10 pm

You need to determine what the issue is - or if there are multiple issues be clear on those.

You need to sit down with husband and do a budget. It really isn't brain surgery - you write down all of your non-discretionary expenses - then a category for items that are necessary like food but which can vary depending on how smart you shop and cook - and then discretionary items.

If you literally don't have enough income to pay for non-discretionary expenses and are using a credit card, then you need to expand your income in some way because you can't live without being able to afford the necessities of life without charging. Unless it is really a short term situation.

If you have enough for your needs, then you set up a budget and live within that budget. There are various ways to do that including bringing only cash for example when you go food shopping. And there are obviously ways to stretch a budget.

Honestly if your issue is that you are a compulsive shopper, that is the easiest fix. Been there and just stopped spending unless I really needed it. I would not go into stores as recreation or now on the internet to look at sites. I became very thoughtful in terms of what I purchased and often would wait for a few days or week to see if I still thought the purchase was necessary.

I understand compulsive shopping as I had this - I would literally have clothing with the tags still on because I impulsively bought for some reason. De-cluttering helps because seeing all of the useless cr*ap I spent money on makes it easy to not buy stuff.