Tuition makes me hate being frum

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:20 pm

amother Forestgreen wrote:

I resent having to pay rent 😳🤪
I hear you we’re also tight

But thats a normal expense. It is on the community to provide a place of learning for our kids. But what if we cant afford it?
Im crying rn from our expenses. Why is it fair that we have to live this way?

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:22 pm

Finances are the hardest part of being frum for many these days. Tuition costs are through the roof. It’s crazy. It doesn’t make sense.

What makes me feel better about it in the past few years is seeing the garbage taught at public schools. My children will not be taught to question their gender, or to view themselves as the oppressor because they’re white. They won’t have to deal with antisemitism from their teachers and classmates - it is rampant in public schools since October 7 unfortunately.

ahappygirl12

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 11:35 pm

I agree, its insane and almost impossibleto make ends meet. But truthfully even if I wasn't frum I'd still send to private. What they're teaching in public schools these days is horrifying. I work with many non jews and secular jews who made the decision to put there kids in private schools even though they are hardly any bit of religious, they prefer a religious curriculum over what's being taught now in public schools.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 5:15 am

If it makes you feel better thousands of non jewish florida kids go to private schools now because of school choice parents are scared of what goes on in public schools and want better educatiom for their kids. I read they are struggling to fill classrooms in public schools. Even if I wasnt jewish I would not send my kids to public school. Try to reframe it so you dont feel resentful

the world's best mom

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 5:31 am

I love being frum. We gain so much from being frum. But yes, it does come with tuition.

"It is on the community to provide a place of learning for our kids." Since when? Hillel couldn't pay for Yeshiva one day so he climbed onto the skylight to listen in. He didn't say it's they're fault I can't pay. He certainly didn't say I want nothing more to do with Torah if I have to pay to be taught. He understood the value of learning.

We are hiring the schools to teach our children Torah. It is expensive and it is difficult.

Of course, you have the option to put your kids into public school. You would be giving up tuition, but the price you would be paying would be much higher.

IOW, Torah is worth the struggle.

amother

Begonia ↓

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:36 am

the world's best mom wrote:

You can't quote the Hillel story without sharing the end: the yeshiva changed their policy after the incident and stopped barring entry to those who couldn't pay. That not to say there should be no tuition, of course money is needed to run the schools. But we do, in fact, have a precedent for the community doing everything it can to make Torah accessible and not simply barring entry to those who can't pay.

amother

↑ DarkYellow ↓

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:56 am

amother Begonia wrote:

I think you missed the point with the Hillel story.
He has a difficult life before the yeshiva changed it's policy. He couldn't afford anything, least of all tuition, yet nowhere in the story did he resent bring frum and then blame anyone for his resentment.

amother

Antiquewhite

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:43 am

the world's best mom wrote:

Hillel was an adult. Not really related to the concept of educating our children. Which is indeed a community obligation.

amother

Honeysuckle ↓

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:57 am

amother OP wrote:

In what universe can a private school be free?? Why should it be on the "community" to provide a free place of learning? In olden times, we paid taxes to the king. Believe me, private melamed nowadays would be waaay more.

If you would have a free school to a community and it wouldn't be paying tuition you would be paying a tax every single month based on your income to help support the community Institution.

Nothing is free.

How many kids do you have that you're paying that amount of money per month?
I hv 5 kids in school from playgroup to hs & pay about 3600 avg- no breaks- per month.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:59 am

amother Honeysuckle wrote:

3 in school. With breaks. I can't move and no other schools.

BaltoMom65 ↓

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:14 am

Op. I completely feel you. And I HATE feeling this way. But put all those bad feelings on the system where you work full time and still can barely get by. Life is not supposed to be this stressful. A generation ago a full time job gave Boomers a home, tuition, food, gas, needs AND wants. It's not just you. We're living in a horrendous cost of living crisis and the worst part is that everyone in charge denies this fact

amother

Whitesmoke

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:55 am

I'm paying 6k a month for 3 kids. Yeah, not happy but it is what it is. One of my kids is special needs and was in public school until now because there wasn't a program for him where we live. I'm so happy I can have him in a frum school so it's worth killing myself to pay for.

amother

↑ Begonia

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 10:52 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

I didn't miss the point. It's a beautiful story about sacrificing for Torah. But it's also a story about what the community needs to provide. Hillel nearly died that night, and Shamaya and Avtalyon had to be mechallel Shabbos to save his life. And while that was obvious what they had to do, they also changed the situation as a result. They said, this Hillel is amazing! Wow! But also, this shouldn't have happened in the first place and we need to think up a better system. I am happy to sacrifice for my kids' chinuch and I don't resent being frum at all. What I resent is that this crisis has been simmering and then ratcheting up literally for decades, and nothing has been done. The community says "we've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!" Yes, we as a community owe it to each other to create and more balanced and solid system for educating our kids.