When a child’s personality changes

amother

OP ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 6:07 am

He went from an easy going, calm child to a boy who is carrying weight on his shoulders. A boy who is anxious and self conscious and lost the light in his eyes.
He doesn’t play with friends anymore and is not happy.
Talking to him hasn’t helped. Taking him out and trying to give him a nice time isn’t helping.
He’s 12. He’s not the same boy anymore.
He needs help.
I’m so worried that I’ll take him to someone incompetent and not get anywhere. This happened with a different child who needed help for different issues. Even with a referral, the therapist was not helpful at all.
If this happens I feel like he would resist trying therapy again so I really want to get it right the first time.
I’m so sad for my son. I want to see him happy, laughing and confident again.

amother

Geranium

Wed, May 22 2024, 7:52 am

Why is every symtom, illness, behavior on this site attributed to Pandas by some posters?
As you know Pandas is a controversial diagnosis which is rare and overused in our communities. Most moms would prefer pandas over mental health or real medical or social issues so they are happy to go along and say it is that. A big Cleveland Clinic researcher said to me that 75 percent or more reported Pandas. are bogus diagnoses and people shouldn't hang their hat on it and look for other sources of behavior change..

amother

Aster

Wed, May 22 2024, 8:12 am

amother Geranium wrote:

I know over fifteen kids with a pandas diagnosis that followed a natural protocol and were miraculously cured. It may be anecdotal, but I think because it's so vague and because there's not a lot of information drs don't know what to make of it. Some will over-diagnose and some will deny it exists.

You don't have to believe it exists, I do. I've seen it. And I've seen the difference after following a protocol.

OP one of the most classic symptoms of pandas and Lyme is behavioral changes. It's definitely worth looking into when a child has such a dramatic shift as opposed to something that's building up.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:27 am

amother Firebrick wrote:

Have you looked into Lyme or pandas at all?

You might find this book helpful https://www.amazon.com/Brain-I.....ss_tl

I’ll never know if it’s pandas because it’s hard to test for and my doctor doesn’t want to test for it. Yes, he might have some symptoms but not all- so who knows?
Not sure that he has enough symptoms to worry about Lyme but I thought about it too.
Thank you for the book recommendation.

amother

Outerspace ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:29 am

Is he being bullied? I would try to look into that before PANDAS, since its more likely.
If he isn't having any problems at school, friends, learning etc. then I would look into medical issues such as pandas.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:32 am

amother DarkYellow wrote:

Is he being bullied?

It doesn’t seem like it because is going to school nicely. He’s the type that would beg to stay home if he was being bullied.
It’s possible that he’s overly sensitive and someone made fun of him at some point. I’ve thought of that but he never outright told me anything.
He’s been complaining bitterly that his siblings are bothering him but I see what’s going on and they really aren’t- most of the time. He’s been overreacting to anything they say or do in a very worrisome way.
I told everyone that they should be very careful when they talk to him, not to make fun or be sarcastic with him because he’s going through a hard time now.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:34 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

We spoke to his Rebbi and he also doesn’t think that anyone is bullying him. He did say that he noticed that my son has become quiet and withdrawn 😢. He said he’ll speak with the principal to decide how to proceed so I’m waiting to hear back from him.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:37 am

R' tauber who works with kesher nafshi for otd teens says one of the biggest red flags in a child who was abused or otherwise traumatized is behavioral changes. Not saying this is the case but definitely something to look into.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 10:42 am

amother Aquamarine wrote:

I know… I just can’t figure out if anything specific happened or maybe it’s just too much pressure from all over crashing down on him.

chick567

Wed, May 22 2024, 11:39 am

this sounds like a classic case of molestation. I'm surprised noone said it yet.

ask him straight out. tell him you wont tell anyone and he wont be punished so he feels safe. maybe he was exposed to [filth].

honestly, it could be a sibling from the sound of his complaints. maybe he caught a sibling watching p-rn, and doesnt want to get the sibling in trouble but is having a hard time processing what happened.

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 11:46 am

If he's complaining about his siblings bothering him, can you find out more about that.
Does he have any ideas of how you can help with that or what can make that better?
I wouldn't be sure that its the actual root of the problem, but if he sees your willing to take his concerns seriously and are open to hearing what he says, maybe over time he'll share more....

amother

Cappuccino

Wed, May 22 2024, 11:47 am

Sometimes bullying is very subtle. I have twice had that the teacher was bullying the child very subtly. The child couldn't pinpoint what was wrong but became very sad and withdrawn. I would speak to other parents and find out if their kids have said anything about what is going on in school.

amother

↑ Outerspace

Wed, May 22 2024, 12:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

I know… I just can’t figure out if anything specific happened or maybe it’s just too much pressure from all over crashing down on him.

What kind of pressure?

amother

Leaf

Wed, May 22 2024, 12:26 pm

I know you said talking to him doesn't help. I'm wondering what you've tried, though. I wouldn't ask any questions. I would just say, I noticed that recently you don't seem so happy. I want you to know that I love you and I want to help you if there's something that happened or that's bothering you. I promise that I won't get angry, no matter what you tell me, and that I'll help you in a way that feels right to you. If you can think of anything, please let me know.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 22 2024, 12:31 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

I’ve given over this message but I like exactly how you worded it.

amother

↑ Firebrick

Wed, May 22 2024, 12:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can do an ibuprophen challenge to see if inflammation is at play